I read BasketCase's earlier thread on here when I was trying to decide if I should do the same thing (i.e. change my interested in on facebook). In the end I did it - last night! I told my friends (who already know) that it's now public information and they can tell whoever they want etc. Most of them said they thought it was a good idea to change it on facebook and they are all supportive which is good And fortunately facebook has the customized privacy settings so my family won't see it... Anyway, I won't know how everyone has reacted - or if they even know because it didn't come up on the feed - until monday (school), but I'm very pleased I finally did it, even though it seems a bit like a cowardly way of coming out :/
Congrats for getting the courage to do it! Keep in mind that most people don't read the info so don't be surprised if no one seems to notice. A step is a step though, so be proud of yourself
Oh, I don't think it's cowardly. You might have the problem where you have no idea who knows. Changing your "interested in" field doesn't invite comment, since, as you said, it doesn't go into your feed. When people come across it they will have no idea how long it's been like that, so they won't think they should say anything about it. I changed mine eight or nine months ago or something, and no one has commented on it. I'm sure at least a few people have seen it by now. Lately, I've been posting gay-related stuff in my feed too--links to articles and whatnot--that might prompt people to look. (Especially other gay people will look.) If there isn't anything else gay-related in your profile, some friends might think it's a prank, like somebody hacked your account. Even in that case, they may or may not mention it. So, don't wait anxiously for people to respond. If you want a response, post something in your status. :icon_wink
Omg Congratzzzz!!! I wish I had the guts to do that ! I'm pretty sure that's a brave thing to do because everyone will know if they look at your info instead of just posting it on your wall because then it would look like you just want attention. CONGRATS!!! !
Thanks guys but it hasn't gone down that well... The friends that I said are so supportive have mostly turned out not so much :/ (the below is a greatly simplified account of what happened :L) School was quite awful today - because I knew no one would notice, I told a guy who's 'a big gossip' so people would find out. But then my friend, behind my back, told him not to tell anyone (he told people anyway, but it's the principle) I'm starting to think she might have a problem with it because then her and two of my other friends went off at lunch somewhere - I'm pretty certain to bitch about me, and she hasn't spoken to me yet, none of them have. I just want it to be tomorrow so we can all talk about it and sort out whatever's wrong... It's horrible that some of the people I thought were ok with it and would be supportive aren't when it actually comes to it
Congrats. and sorry your friends who you thought were supportive are lacking in the support. Maybe they are scared of how people will treat you or act towards you if you are totally out. Or maybe they are afraid of how they will be viewed with an openly gay friend (which I have seen happens, although I have seen it more with parents....they are okay with you being gay, but once you want to share it with the world they freak out) My advice is to talk to them about it (try to be calm about and just tell them how you feel) and try to figure out how they feel. And try to just give them some time. If they were initially accepting, they will most likely come around.
I would ask your friends what is up, but as far as spreading the word, there is no rush. I'm not sure telling the biggest gossiper is the best idea. Obviously you can't change the past, but in the future, there is no major race to tell people. You don't want people to tell other people the wrong thing.
Thanks again today was much better. We did all talk everything over, and I think they understand more. >>>"maybe they are afraid of how they will be viewed with an openly gay friend" I think this is probably the main reason for it, they have actually said that they though my coming out was 'selfish' and that I hadn't really thought about the effect it will have on them... which hurt. And it's definately the reason why my closest friend (who told the guy not to tell anyone) didn't want it to happen. She worries way too much about what people think, and to be honest I find it quite offensive how much she hates people thinking she is gay :/ She was on at a maths lecture trip today so I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, but we have texted and she's apologised etc. (>>>"there is no rush" I really haven't rushed, I have been wanting to do this for so long, but I do know what you mean) Anyway, I think everything is going to be ok now
