why couldnt i just do it?

It sounds like he's just waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell him, in my opinion. But I can definitely relate to the freezing up, especially with a parent. I never actually successfully brought myself to say the words to my mom, but I did get the message across somehow.

Maybe if it's easier, tell him electronically. From the sound of it, he won't be too surprised, and then when you see him you'll pretty much have to talk about it.

 

Haha I know how you feel, you know you should, but you just... can't. It's really hard. Don't feel bad, I am almost 18 and I am only out to three people. You're doing a good job. Oh and by the way I like parenthesis too (I use them all the time). I think you're at least half way there because you at least know your dad's position on gay stuff. I honestly have no idea how some of my friends would react.

 

It looks like you've paved a great foundation on which you can use for coming out to your Stepdad, and it seems like he has no problems with it since you've said that you both discussed 'queerness'. Like said above, he probably knows already but could be waiting just for you to do things in your own time.

Even though my parents were accepting of me I would of loved to have had that foundation to make things easier for me, especially at 16 years old.

I say go for it!!

 

Perhaps the status of your relationship with him (that he is not your biological father, and also no longer married to your mother) makes you feel more insecure about your relationship with him than you would otherwise. We all fear our parents reacting badly, even when there are legal and biological ties that make it seem more like they are obligated to love us. You may know, intellectually, that he will accept you, but that doesn't stop you from fearing that he won't.

Since it's pretty clear that he'll be okay with it, do it in whatever way is easiest for you. Don't try to make yourself do it in person.

 

Well i am having the same problem and no way im i telling the people i live with but I think that you are strong enough to come out to him and it seems as though he wont judge you

 

So I kind of have two positions on this, so I'm going to tell you both and hopefully one will help. It sounds like you either aren't ready to tell him yet (in which case you should wait until you feel like you are) or you are ready and scared. Only you can know which, but in either case, I think Ianthe is right. You might not be as secure in your relationship with him as you would be if he was your biological father. Maybe the best thing for you would be to do something to strengthen your relationship. Go out and do something together, really hang out for a day just the two of you, and then try and tell him. It might be easier after you spend a lot of time one-on-one with him and reassure yourself that he loves you and will love you no matter what. And if after hanging out, you decide you don't really feel comfortable telling him right then, well then you still don't have to.
If it helps, my uncle loves his stepkids like they were his own. He always says he wishes he was their biological dad just because he's sad he missed out on them being born. I'm sure your stepdad feels the same way.

 

I can kinda relate to you hdryjo. I've just come out to one person, but it was after a couple drinks so I was more willing to do it. Tonight I went to hang out with my good friend that I hadn't seen in awhile. It was going to be just me and her and I figured I should just tell her because I know she would be okay and supportive. I planned the whole thing out in my head and even said it out loud to myself how it would go. I just couldn't do it though, I thought I was ready but I guess I'm not? I can't tell if I'm just nervous or still not ready. I guess just in time we will eventually get some feeling that lets us do it. Good luck!

 

Trust me, I understand where you're coming from.
I have yet to come out to my parents, while everyone else knows pretty much. I'm 22 years old, I should be able to tell them. Even though I know they'll be accepting (my dad made us walk through a gay pride parade in Montreal once when we were kids...) I still get really nervous and back out most of the time.

I seem to get a lot of pressure from just about everyone telling me that I should come out to them in person, and I do think it's best if you do come out in a way where you have time to discuss it with him. You have to leave time for loved ones to wrap their heads around the fact that you're a slightly different person from what they knew of you.

It sucks, but trust me when I say you do kindof have to make yourself do it when it comes down to actually doing it. There is no magical wave of courage that allows you to do these things. However, if you're like me, the more time goes by, the less bearable it is to hide it, especially after everyone else knows you're gay.

Good luck! I'm sure he'll take it alright!

 

I'm with most everyone else on this. It seems like he has a pretty good idea. If you can, bring yourself to do it try in person; I'd do that it just seems more personal, but don't force yourself into it.
I did that with my mom, and it ended with me backed into the more 'I'm not sure corner' (if ur ready tot ell ppl ur more than sure damnit T_T) Though you can probably take a more casual way, or electronically. Kinda reminds me of my friend, who, instead of coming out verbally kinda went passive aggressive and died her hair rainbow.

I can fully see where you're coming from though. Most if not all of my friends are pro gay. But I've yet to tell any of them, even my besty (who's bi) but coming out to my mom was HARD. And I still get butterflies thinking about telling someone. It can be hard sometimes, having it on the tip of my tongue and wanting to tell someone, but fear takes over logic and I change subjects. That said, I think you're stronger than I am at the moment. You can do this, you're almost there.

Best of luck. (*hug*)

PS: Gawd I want a rainbow belt

 

You'll do it when you're ready, not before. Don't be too hard on yourself

 

any luck??

 

Haha just do it when you feel the push to do it, don't force it, no rush. You're two years younger than me, and I have only come out to three people. Who's the scardy cat now!
I am starting to be less paranoid about people finding out though. Like I am participating in the Day of Silence this coming Friday!!
I haven't even started to think about coming out to my dad. The only reason I am out to my mom is because she asked.
To motivate you here are some fun ways to come out (not that you'd actually do any of them...)
101.Record your voice saying "I'm gay" in a build-a-bear and give it as a gift to your parents.
100.Knock knock joke. For example, you= "Knock knock", parents= who's there? You= It's me your son/daughter, parents= it's me your son/daughter who, you= "is gay".
99.Write a song about being gay and perform it for your parents.
98. Write a poem.
97. Take pictures of you and your significant other kissing and leave them around places you know they will find them.
96. Get a rainbow tattooed somewhere on your body.
95. Act the stereotypical gay way, and have them assume you're gay without having to actually "come out".
94.Play a game of scrabble and save the letters until you can spell "I am gay".
93. Tell your parents when the vacuum is on.
92. Bake a cake and in icing write "I'm gay" on it.
There are more here. I don't know I just found them all hilarious!
You know how I know you're gay: 101 ways to come out of the closet. | Gay & Bisexual Women Community, Forum & After Ellen Members | AfterEllen.com