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Came out to my wife...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by preacherskid83, Apr 2, 2011.

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  1. preacherskid83

    preacherskid83
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    Well, it's done. I finally came out to my wife. And it hurts. I sat her down and told her straight out, I'm sorry, I'm gay. It's not an April Fools prank, it's not a joke. And despite the temptation and opportunities of these last few months, it was nice to be able to look her in the eye and tell her honestly that I have never cheated on her. She's (understandably) taking it hard, but she said she's willing to stay married for now and just have seperate lives, sort of an open relationship. Which, for now, works for us, financially and in our housing situation.
    It's not over yet, but I took the first step.
     
    #1 preacherskid83, Apr 2, 2011
  2. Ethan

    Ethan
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    Congrats! That's a huge step to take. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Ethan, Apr 2, 2011
  3. straal1972

    straal1972
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    Congrats, having that off your chest must be a great feeling. Dont be surprised if you start getting a mixed bag of emotions coming from her. She will have to go through many different stages (grief, anger, depression etc).
     
    #3 straal1972, Apr 2, 2011
  4. aidan

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    congratulations monsieur

    i look forward 2 reading ur future coming out stories :icon_wink
     
    #4 aidan, Apr 2, 2011
  5. cardenio

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    Congratulations on taking the first step toward the rest of your life; that must have taken a great deal of courage. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 cardenio, Apr 2, 2011
  6. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    That's a huge step! Congrats on taking it! :slight_smile:
     
    #6 TheEdend, Apr 2, 2011
  7. Daryn

    Daryn
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    Why are there eggs scrambling in the street?
    Sounds like a really hard thing to do and you must be really brave. Good for you :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Daryn, Apr 2, 2011
  8. stageone

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    Congrats PreachersKid! Good start. Hope things work out for you both.
     
    #8 stageone, Apr 2, 2011
  9. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    That's gotta be rough, but congrats anyway. It must feel good to not have to keep that in.
    I wish you both well :slight_smile:
     
    #9 thedreamwatch, Apr 2, 2011
  10. Kanen

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    That is amazing. Good for you! I hope everything turns out good.
     
    #10 Kanen, Apr 2, 2011
  11. alexi12

    alexi12 Guest

    Congrats for telling her and telling her straight out! That was courageous.
     
    #11 alexi12, Apr 2, 2011
  12. ToTheCeilingFan

    ToTheCeilingFan
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    Awesome dude! That took a lot of bravery. <3
     
    #12 ToTheCeilingFan, Apr 3, 2011
  13. Dykezz

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    Congratulations!! That's a huge step!!!
     
    #13 Dykezz, Apr 3, 2011
  14. Chip

    Chip
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    That's such a big step! Congratulations. As Straal said, expect that she will have a lot of ups and downs over the coming days (or weeks), because it will take time for it to really sink in for her.

    The good news is because you told her before, and she's been asking you continually since, she already sort of knew, and that should make it easier to accept. But it is still likely that she will have some anger about it, so be prepared for that. It does sound like she wants to try to be reasonable about things, and that's a huge help.

    Another thought is, even though you've agreed to have an "open" marriage, I'd proceed a little slowly, and perhaps have some additional conversations with her before you either are staying at someone's house over night, or whatever... someone can be OK with something intellectually but have a much harder time when it comes to actually having it happen. But I think as long as you do your best to continue communicating with one another, it should work out.

    Please keep us informed :slight_smile:
     
    #14 Chip, Apr 3, 2011
  15. preacherskid83

    preacherskid83
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    I will definately keep posting. Helps me work thibgs out:wink:
     
    #15 preacherskid83, Apr 3, 2011
  16. EM68

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    Congrats. You took a huge step! One thing you want to do is to make sure you let your wife know you will be there for her.
     
    #16 EM68, Apr 3, 2011
  17. straal1972

    straal1972
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    I am so glad Chip mentioned this. In my own case, my wife was at first okay with me being gay. But when it actually came down to sharing some details (like trying to describe the gay dance club i went to, and my feelings about it), she can't tolerate it, and doesn't want to hear about it.

    So, yeah, play it slow. Don't overwhelm her with details, start slow and small.
     
    #17 straal1972, Apr 4, 2011
  18. preacherskid83

    preacherskid83
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    We did talk about this. We both agreed that for now, slow is definately better. I may go do stuff, but she doesn't want to hear about it right now. Thanks for the tip though!
    It's SOO nice to have a place to get this out in the open among friends (&&&)
     
    #18 preacherskid83, Apr 5, 2011
  19. justin logan

    justin logan
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    WOW!! This is interesting..never see the point of being gay and married to a women. how do u do it? y did u get married if u are fully gay? just wondering...not opposing.
     
    #19 justin logan, Apr 5, 2011
  20. preacherskid83

    preacherskid83
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    Long story short, I was lying to myself when I got married. Now we're staying together for financial reasons. And cause we are close, regardless of sexual orientation.
     
    #20 preacherskid83, Apr 5, 2011
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