I've known that I was a girl my entire life--even before I knew what transsexualism was. I never really believed that I acted much like a boy. When I was young, I was innocent and naive and I didn't realize what I was doing. I just acted the way I wanted to and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. When I got a bit older, around 12, I began to realize that girls were changing and boys were changing differently. I didn't like how I was changing, but I tried to be more masculine in spite of that. It really didn't work out and I did things that weren't like me, like getting into a fight. At 13, I finally admitted that I was a girl on the inside. It's not that I didn't know, I just was pretending. Despite this, I kept it a secret because I thought I was a freak. Due to this awful feeling, I became reclusive. I lost all of my old friends because I became withdrawn and silent. I had one friend in high school and that was a boy. He seemed to be okay with me, despite how feminine I was. I was never good at hiding that I was a girl and everyone at school knew. Hell, even when there were vicious rumors going around that we were dating, he stuck by me. After high school, I fell into a deep depression and hurt myself almost on a daily basis. I even attempted suicide a few times. I didn't want to be a guy. I hated it. I went to college, but I rarely went to class and I flunked out of two schools. I also lost touch with my friend from high school. I managed to come out of my depression for a few years, but last summer I felt it creeping back. When I felt my depression coming back, I felt like my days were numbered. I had friends this time and I wanted to live, so I sought help from my friends. I told them everything. That seemed to buy me some time, but that's it. I started to realize that I needed to do more than just come out of the closet: I needed to transition. With that goal in mind, something changed inside of me. I somehow grew stronger, found ambition. I began pursuing my goal and a month ago, I came out to my sister--the first person in my family that I told. I also began seeing a therapist. With his help, I came out to my parents. That was two weeks ago.
Wow, intense story. Really glad that you are better now Congrats on coming out to your parents! It has to take a lot to be able to say and explain it to them Good luck with everything
It's really good that you're going to see a therapist as it sounds like this is helping. Congratulations on coming out to your parents.:eusa_clap
wow, my sister's best friend just came out to her as MtoF, and lesbian! She always assumed he was a straight guy (he was always trying to kiss my sister, but my sister likes girls!). I figured that was super rare, but I guess not!
There is literally nothing stopping us from destroying our own prisons and shells. Being yourself on both inside and outside is the solution to the root cause of all our internal problems.
My therapist has been helping a lot. Coming out has lessened my depression drastically, but my gender dysphoria remains intact. He's helping work through my self-image and self-esteem issues, so I can transition with dignity. You have no idea. Up until I came out, it was like I wasn't really living. I was living in a world of darkness, but coming out made the sun rise. For the first time, I see the world. It really is like I'm experiencing everything for the first time. I'm not sure if it's rare or not, but I do like girls and consider myself a lesbian.
Congratulations on coming out and being who you are. You're definitely on the right forum if you're looking for advice, help, or someone to talk to. You're not alone. (*hug*)
