I'd never told anyone that I was a lesbian before, and I didn't plan on coming out anytime soon. It just happened. Last night I was watching Lady Gaga's Monsterball HBO Special with my dad and I mentioned how she was a huge Gay Rights Activist. He told me that that was one of the things he didn't like about her and asked him why. He believes homosexuality is gross and wrong and we ended up arguing about it and yelling at each other. He told me to just change the subject because I was making him angry. Then Lady Gaga sang Alejandro and was talking about equality and at the end two of her male dancers started kissing. My father got angry and changed the channel. On the other channel Rosanne was on and it was an episode where D.J. mentioned that his grandmother came out as gay. I felt like it was fate that that particular episode came on and decided to try and talk to him about it again and he of course got angry again. I got really upset and started crying. He asked me why I cared so much about it and after over an hour of yelling, fighting, and crying I told him that I was a lesbian. He instantly stopped yelling at me and wanted to talk about it. He was shocked to find out, but he never said another hurtful thing. He let me talk and tried to understand. He told me that he still loves me and always will. He said that he would support me no matter what, and that he would do his best to accept this and that he only wants me to be happy. I was shocked at how accepting he was after everything he had said earlier. He wanted me to tell my mom, but I was scared how she would react. He assured me that everything would be fine and my mom would still love me. This morning we drove to my mom's house and after wishing her a happy mother's day he asked her if they could talk alone for a little while. I was so scared and just sat in the living room waiting. Finally my mom came in the room and we talked about it. She reacted similarly to the way my dad did. They want us to go to a counselor and talk to someone about this so they can understand more. They are both religious and I was so afraid at how they would react. I know that they still think homosexuality is wrong, but I'm glad that they are trying to understand.
That's great news! I'm so happy that you found a way to come out. It seems like some things were meant to be and it sure seemed like that was the night it was going to happen whether you planned it or not. It's also great how both your parents, despite the preconceptions of homosexuality, are trying to understand it. You are very lucky to have such willing parents! I wish you all the best in the future. Hope it all goes well. Congrats!
Hi, and welcome to EC! Isn't it interesting how sometimes a random collection of events conspires to bring us to the decision to come out when we may have had little or no idea that we were ready to do so? I applaud you for taking the bull by the horns and coming out to your dad, and I also applaud your parents for very quickly, and abruptly, absorbing, understanding, and showing their love and acceptance of you. You're extremely lucky. I wouldn't be surprised if they have some difficulty over the next week or two with their feelings and perhaps go through a period of anger and grief, but the fact they've accepted so quickly and want you to go to a therapist is a really good sign. Do make sure that the therapist you go to is *not* a christian therapist, or you'll likely end up trying to justify how you feel, and/or have the therapist feeding you bogus stuff about how you can change. While this is not ethical according to APA guidelines, there are still a ton of Christian therapists that do this. It might also be a good idea to go to the pflag site and print out some materials to give to your parents for them to read, and perhaps also to encourage them to go to a pflag meeting. It can be particularly challenging for very religious parents because they have to reconcile their love for their child with their religious beliefs. But again... congrats, and please continue to share your story here
This gives me hope. The only individual whose reaction I really care about when it comes to me coming out is my father, who is quite like yours, it seems. Congratulations, and thank you for sharing!
