claustrophobia...the closet walls are closing in on me! D:

so i've come out as bisexual to a handful of people; some friends and most of my family (family being the hardest to come out to, and having the worst reactions, go figure). and at this point i am no longer afraid of people knowing. i don't know what happened, but it was like an overnight realization that i *want* people to know, and i'm really pretty sick of hiding my true self. i'm feeling really claustrophobic right now and i feel like if somebody put a megaphone in my hand then the words "I'M BI!!!!!" would echo down my street. a guy-friend of mine suggested i write that as a facebook status, lol...and i almost did, but i chickened out at the last minute. still, though, i feel like i'm living a lie, and plus- how am i supposed to get a girlfriend if no one knows i want one? :icon_wink

so i think i want to just update the section in facebook that says what gender(s) you're interested in. that way no one sees it immediately, but eventually the news would spread because i'm in high school, and word gets around...

the only problem is, i've only been sitting with this knowledge of myself for all of two months. so i'm worried that this could all be just some stupid phase. at least, that's what my mom and older sisters believe (vehemently, at that), but i don't think it's true, especially since i'm utterly infatuated with a girl at my school right now...

my step-mom, knowing of my somewhat impulsive nature, told me i should wait until i come visit her and my father in the summer (they live across the country, so i see them twice a year). she wants to talk to me about it in person, which i understand...possibly even go see her therapist just to talk things through....but i feel so impatient. i have only officially known this about myself for a couple of months, but i think i've known it a lot longer than that, ever since early childhood.

so should i wait? would that be the wise thing to do? and if i do wait, how can i be more patient?