Well I sat her down and said to her "Mum, if I told you something, would you freak out?", to which she got that scary, scary look on her face that says "oh my god, she's going to confide in me!!!! Must act motherly, MUST ACT MOTHERLY!!!!" So mum says "Of course darling, you can tell me anything" Right. Well that looks good, right? I figured let's not beat about the bush.. straight to the point. "Mum, I'm bisexual" The look. On her face. Was priceless. It's something I'm gonna remember every time I feel down. She was like "I... oh. Um. Oh. Well, I found growing up a very confusing time for me, and I'm sure you will too... do, too... umm... *silence*... Look, if you just give it time... I'm sure you'll realise it's just a phase. I'm sure you will. You never know, you might even be homosexual... *looks down at counter* but probably straight. It's probably just a phase..." At this point, Dad stuck his head out the study door to see what was going on, then realised he didn't wanna know and promptly stuck it back in again. So I went "Well that's it, I'm off to bed.. night..." Left her still looking at the counter-top like she'd never seen it before. Hour and a half later, she comes into my room... I was pretending to be asleep. "Ashlyn? Ashlyn? Ashlyn... Do you wanna talk about it?" "No, I just wanted to tell you. Can I go back to sleep now?" "Oh. Yes. Ok. Sorry. Night. And you know I'll love you no matter what..." "Yup. Night"
Ash I know it's probably not not the reaction you were hoping for but you gotta luv your mum, she's really trying here. It is a positive reaction, things will get better. Give your mum a hug, she's doing her best. You will have to talk to her even if you don't need to she does. Could you get her some resources, there are loads of good books out there. You could print off the sticky about parents grief for her to read. I bought 'Now you know' from Amazon (no publicity intended) It really does help. Your mum will learn about homosexuality, learn the long term reprecussions, learn that its not just a phase. The silly phrase about being a phase is just denial, I doubt that she really believes it, she just wants something to hang onto. God I feel like reaching out and hugging your mum. Your mum loves you and it is this love for you which will help her to be open to learning about homosexuality and accept you for who you are because gay, bi lesbian, whatever you want to call yourself you are first and formost her little girl, even if at times you don't get on too well. Do you know how embarrasing it is for mums to talk to their children about sex:icon_redf We do it because we have to but we are at least as embarrased as you, if not more because things have changed in the last 10-15 years, people are more open and honest. Sex when I was bought up was a 'dirty' thing never to be spoken about... much less indulged in :lol: You must have an idea coz your dad did the typical dad thing on 'womens/emotional/sex problems' but hey, you'll have to cross that bridge when you come to it. Leave the door open to your mum to talk to you, she won't be able to travel this road to acceptance all alone, she will need help, either from you or another family member who knows. I don't think your dad counts here (not being mean but from what you say he is not very comfortable with this sort of thing). I felt very alone in coping with this... until Becky reached out to me. Two months after I found out I watched a program about homosexuality with my son and half way through he turned to me and said 'Oh I'm really sorry, I could have helped you more'. I know that you are the child and your mum the adult but we adults also have an inner child that can feel lost and lonely, we need hugs to you know. This is a problem you have been struggling with for years, and have had time to come to terms with, all this is new for your mum, give her time. I am sure that there were times in your coming to terms with your sexuality that you had doubts, were in denial or even hoped that it was just a phase and you wouldn't have to deal with it. Your mum needs to go through all those stages, be patient with her (*hug*)
That is absolutely ROFL. Your mum sounds pretty cool. My mum tries to bring it up alot but I just ignore her when she does because I don't like talking about it.
Well - I was going to say something...but I couldn't possibly top all the good stuff that Louise wrote - so other than saying "Congrats!!! "...I'll just shut up. :icon_wink
Hi Ashabi, this literally nearly made me fall off my seat, that is so like my mum. hehehehehehe Anyway, I think she's just going through denial and stuff, but i think she'll come around eventually...Maybe you wanna check out that thread about parents and coming out being like grieving with the six stages...Ill go find it for you Here it is
Oh I love reading these coming out stories. Ashabi...your story is hysterical! Your mom is great and so are you! Louise did say really good stuff. So I'm just going to say "thanks for sharing" and making us smile all at the same time!
Haha, that's great!!! :icon_bigg Congrats!! Your mom will eventually realise that it's not a phase and it looks like she won't have a problem accepting it!
Congrats! I love the part where she says its probably just a phase and that you might be homosexual or straight its so funny but I don't know why people think that you either have to be gay or straight and that you can't be bisexual. either way congrats it sounds like she is going to be ok with you being bi. funny coming out. oh and your dad sticking his head out then deciding against it was funny too!
