My little story...

Well, after reading everybody else’s stories, and after crying over a few, and laughing, and realizing that I should post mine, here I am.. Before I go any further, let me back track a little bit…

I knew I was gay since middle school. I knew I was different. I knew I was not the same. I knew there was something different about me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. So I went through middle school, trying to play to part of a straight guy (and I think I did pretty well).

Now let’s go to high school. A time where you’re suppose to find yourself right? WRONG!! If anything, I got lost more… Freshman and sophomore year was awesome. No one really suspected I was gay even when I had a taste for fashion, theater, and costumes. I finally felt that I could be a peace with my self. Until junior year when it all hit the ceiling. I was coasting along, living life, when some people started picking on me. Using the terms “faggot” and “queer” and other very degrading terms. So I ran back into my little closet. I even went as far as to get a date for prom, a girl, and attempted to have a good time. Needless to say, it didn’t go well.

That summer, I moved out of my moms house and into my dads house. My dad, well, he’s a whole notha’ character. He’s the all American dad. Very buff, southern nascar, foot ball, etc. So if he ever found out (as I write this, he doesn’t know), I would be screwed. But moving into my dads house was a blessing in disguise. I became a little closer to my dad than ever before (my dad split when I was born and had very little to do with me until I was in high school). So, moving on to senior year.

As I said, it’s senior year. I’ve told a few close friends that I’m gay. And it felt GREAT! The more people I told, the better I felt. I was tempted to rent a billboard and just let the entire city of Mobile read it! I wish I could say that senior year ended great, but I can’t. Some of the wrong people found out about me and it got a little nasty. I was labeled as the school fag (our school had over 3000 students), yet I was the only one! The biggest thing I was scared of was my dad finding out. That’s what I fought for the most. Thankfully he didn’t! I graduated and got a job working at a local auto store.
Still in the closet to a majority of people, I began to drop hints to people. Very suttle hints. My dad was the main one I dropped them around. Until one day, we working on my car (changing brakes), and the words he spoke to me where awesome. I remember them to this day “Son, you don’t have to hide who you really are around me. I know you’re gay. I’ve known for years. When you would rather repaint your room instead of watching the game, I knew. When you would rather go shopping for clothes over tools or hunting stuff, I knew. I may not always understand how or why, but I’m your dad, and I will always be here.”

So my conclusion. I know people get scared. But be who you are. Don’t be afraid to show you’re true colors. Let it shine! Fly that flag high!! It’s scary at first, but in the end, you’ll feel better.

 

There are still some people, mostly family, who I am scared to death of coming out too. Mainly because they are all "hard core southern Baptist". Me and my dad still have some moments where he is asking questions about why and how and can it be fixed... But I think that he will overcome that soon.

 

Thanks... I kinda just had to share it.. I've read pages and pages of people coming out on here. I've teared up on some of them, bawled my eyes out on others, and laughed at a couple... That was defiantly the shortened version by far, but it will still help others to come out...that's my ultimate goal.

 

It kinda shocked me at first. I was kinda like "Oh crap... This isn't going good." But it went surprisingly well.. I would have liked it he had actually stopped working in the car and looked me in the eyes.. But hey, I'm just glad we can sit in the same room now and I don't have to hide who I am. That's what I'm most thankful for. We still have our moments, but it's actually pretty good..