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From Gay, to Bi, Back to Gay Again.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Jagster, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. Jagster

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My life started to begin last year when I was in 7th grade. I was still known to people as straight, and I was dating a girl who didn't really love me back. Her friends made me their punching bag whenever they got the chance, even in 6th grade, it was like that.

    I broke up with her October 21, 2009. Her friends were pissed at me, yes. So during the Fall Harvest Dance, they hunted me down. One of her friends kicked my back on the stage in the lunch room in front of everyone who was participating in Bingo at the time. The teacher who was doing the calling shooed the girls away from me and let me hang around him the rest of the time.

    Earlier in the month, I nearly set off an Amber Alert. It was early October and I wanted to hang out my friends house. I told my mom that I wanted to go to my friend Austin's house. The bad part was is that she thought I said I wanted to go to my friend Nate's house. I didn't know any Nate's at the time. I went to Austin's house after school the following day and spent the night there. This is where the concern came in. When his mom drove us back to school the next day, we were walking towards the main entrance and I continuously heard my name said over and over. I even checked the sky to see if that was where it was coming from.

    It was coming from my mother who was standing in the doorway with the disciplinarian. They took me in to the principal's office who was subbed in by my Literature teacher. They told me how there were people calling other people saying that I went missing and how the Superintendent was prepared to call the state troopers to set up an Amber Alert as I was pulling in to the lot. After the whole meeting and the crying, I decided to go on through my school day and face the questioning of everyone else of where I've been.

    Between October and the next dance, I asked out many girls, all of which rejected me. Then came the Winter Dance. I hung around Austin the whole time until he pretty much ditched me. I got rejected by yet another girl, leading me to flee for the rest of the dance and sit in front of my locker. My Writing teacher was just about to leave for the day when he came walking out of his room and came to sit down right next to me. It was a moment I have truly cherished because it showed me he cared.
    Somewhere around this point or before, I was tricked by 3 guys. They pranked me by making me believe I was dating a gorgeous looking girl who actually lived in a town about 60 miles away from Spokane, WA. A girl who went my school told me the guys who played the prank on me. I did report it because it came up in conversation when I was talking to the school's counselor.

    This is where my life gets worse, but a little bit more enlightened. I knew that I was a gay guy before the midst of December came. I decided to come out to people on Facebook. I started out with a close friend since 4th grade, just coming out to him. Of course, I overdid it and came out to more people on Facebook that same night.

    It was a terrible idea because within the next week, people were asking me about me being gay. I never denied it to anyone. I felt like I had taken a cement brick off of my back. What I didn't know was that I was going to get harassed by bigots.

    My major place of harassment came out of gym class. One kid kicked my shoe towards the exit, another said that I should play with the girls because I fit in best there, and another tried to make me look at his crotch by crouching down when I was looking at the floor one day waiting for the passing time bell to ring. That of which, also got reported.

    Somewhere thereafter, I got my first boyfriend. He was sweet, but turned out to be a douchebag. He ran away from home for a while, and then his aunt went all religious douchebaggery "made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" shit on me. So I really just forgot about him. I try not to even count him as my first boyfriend at all, even. He doesn't deserve it.

    As far as further harassment went for the rest of the school year, most of it was cyber, it had little significance to my life, at all.
    So, now comes a move for my family. We moved from Spokane, Washington, all the way up to Anchorage, Alaska. We drove through Canada for 5 days. All of which had beautiful scenery and my beautiful black lab dog trying to climb over the seat.

    After a long summer, came my 8th grade year. It was pretty much boring for the first half month. All it was was settling in to the classes as well as getting books and such. During the last days of August, my Health teacher assigned the class an assignment where we had to make a presentation that described who we are.

    I loopholed the whole situation and incorporated a half-coming out. I decided to come out as a bisexual for the time being. It wasn't lying but it wasn't being real truthful either. Some people took it fine. Others not so much.

    My first known harassment from it was on the bus when one of the other 8th graders started yelling out "Bisexual Motherfucker!" I let it happen 3 times, and then I got tired of it. I reported it and it let in to an extensive investigation. The culprit was caught and off the bus for a week. And I got suspended from school for something that could be considered as battery assault.
    Word got around quick of my half-truth. Only to some people I told the actual truth of me being gay. I knew that either way those people I told the full truth really didn't care either way.

    People talked about me behind my back. I never knew about it until one of my friends told me about it. I faced barely any direct homophobia. I did face a lot of indirect homophobia though. Most of it was the term "That's gay." I reported a lot of them but barely any of them were taken care of.

    The most major indirect bashing I faced was when I was put back on the bus after other suspensions for pretty much the same reason as the first. I was put up in the front of the bus with the 7th graders. Every day and/or every other day, they were describing something as gay. I got one of my friends to help me out who owns a non-discrimination group. He took it a bit farther than it should've gone and alerted some media groups about it.

    Also, when I reported it, my principal contacted the police to talk to the aggressors about the problem. The weird thing was that their parents, who are Air Force Commanders, went on a rampage saying that the school was inconsiderate enough to be at the conversation with the boys and the police.

    I was forced to reject their interview requests. Which was sad, but my parents views on the subject was clear. I didn't think they understood the caliber of the problem if it was direct or indirect to me. Sooner or later, the principal of my school realized that I was calling out for help so much that she finally allowed me to request a GSA be made at the school as well as get a GLSEN Safe Place Kit. Neither of which became reality. Although, she did go on the morning announcements and made it clear that anyone who uttered the phrase would get suspended.
    This is where it keeps going downhill. What happened to me in 7th grade, has happened to me again. A person who set me up with a person only set me up with failure. The dude he tried setting me up with had no idea who I even was, no matter how many times he "said" he talked to him about me.

    Lies, lies were what he had told, never letting the truth unfold. I felt devastated, I felt robbed, tears of immorality were what I had sobbed. Had I mentioned I'm a poet, yes it is true. Who I had thought was my friend, had turned me a new hue.

    The only bashing I got between then and the end of the school year was another 8th grader walking past me in the hall and said to my female friend "Don't talk to him. He's gay." He tried to make me feel excluded, just as he tried to make me excluded from everything in gym the previous semester. So he got dealt with 3 days of out of school suspension.

    The school year ended quickly. Even though I was suspended a couple more times, my 8th grade year turned out to be quite a memorable one.
     
  2. Fiddledeedee

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    Where are you at now? Are you going to move schools? You say that you were suspended a couple more times; what were the reasons for this? You don't come across as a person who would retalliate violently to insults, neither have you been doing the bullying, so you might be able to appeal to the school about this. I am wondering how much your parents know about this, as they and the coulcellor could back you up. If you do end up going to hours of meetings, ensure you get all the minutes and paperwork, even if the school is reluctant to send them to you. When fighting with my school over my brother's lack of attendance for medical reasons, my mother found that the school would send different papers to her and the consultant; there was one threatening legal action which she didn't get.

    It sounds like some people simply don't understand what it is to be gay. You could ask a teacher to include lessons on "alternative sexualities. It may also be best not to claim you are bi, as if/when you later say you are gay people may be confused. It also makes them more likely to think that us bisexuals are only going through a phase.

    If there are any student-formed clubs at your school, then you are allowed to form a GSA. There is more information on this elsewhere on EC.

    Finally, well done for being so brave. I often wish I was.
     
  3. U N Owen

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    Welcome to the Anchorage School District. Congradulations with putting up with the beauracracy. In Middle School people in general seem less considerate and more likely to attack people who are different them them. However in High School it was different. While I never actualy came out in high school, I was aware of people who had as well as other types of people that are the stereotypical bullied type. However they kept to them selves and no one bothered them. It was a more openmided environment in High School and I think more people are willing to express themselves. All the faculty and staff were supportive and seemed willing to help. Also at my high school there a was a Seminar school which was a school within a school that had alot more openmided peopel in it. I do not know what the alternative, freshman academy, is like. Of course there was probably problems with the less intelligent students at my school, however since I never ran into them, I wouldn't know. Do you know which high school you are attending?
     
  4. thedylan

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    Well for one I just want to say I am really glad to see young kids out there who are so literate and able to right/type to the extent and actually know how to use every word uttered and your poetry I am so glad you can do that because well I have never been a poet and have always known it.

    As for your problem I believe you should just wait until high school you only have a little bit of time left and as Owen said kids in high school are much more accepting. We had this guy in our school who every one called Jerry the Fairy(I don't agree with it but even he referred to himself as such) Jerry always wore really feminine clothing and had the usual gay voice(I don't know what its called if their is a name for it) but all in all really homosexual, right? Well everyone accepted him he had his group of friends and so did the rest of us. High school is about, well school first, then you have clicks which are groups of friends you fit into and being social but I believe that you will end up in the right place. For one your well educated and to me it seams like you have talent so long as you don't give up any dreams you will continue to aspire to great things. By the way your story has inspired me and a few others that are reading it with me so please continue to be an awesome person.
     
  5. Jagster

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    Out to everyone
    I am gay. The other incidents that happened that got me kicked off the bus was a small repeat of the first incident, and then me yelling out the window to pedestrians on the second one. In my defense, I was never given warning that the camera would be running on the bus without the bus having to run.

    At this point, my 8th grade year has passed. The principal did give me a chance to request resources to come to my school, which never happened. So, high school comes next. And thank you for the praise.

    Thanks. What I was told of the Freshman Academy is that you are basically placed on two of the floors of the school for the entire year to get used to finding your way around. I will be going to Bartlett High School. By the way, do you know of any LGBT Youth Groups around Anchorage?

    Thank you. :slight_smile: I think you are thinking of the word "accent." Seems like Jerry had a pretty optimistic high school life, from my point of view. Again, thank you, and I am glad that I have given you inspiration.
     
  6. U N Owen

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    I went to Service but the freshman academy programs sound identical. Probably district wide. I am unaware of any different programs being offered at Bartlett, the Seminar School is only offered at Service. However I doubt that this is much of a problem at all and you should do fine.

    Regretfully I have only come out to my family and do not know of any LGBT groups. However there is the Gay and Lesbian community center on 5th avenue and Denali St downtown which might have more information.
    Hope it helps.
     
    #6 U N Owen, Jun 4, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2011
  7. Jagster

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    Yeah, the two do seem identical from what I've heard about them.

    And alright, your help is much appreciated. :slight_smile: