Last night there was this talk show that was hosted by a gay guy. My dad said that he (the gay guy) shouldn't promote gays. My dad also said that god didn't make man to fuck another man. I kinda felt offended. My dad said that he has no problem accepting gays, but he will never think that gay is normal.
my dad doesnt really think bad about most gays......he thinks pete burns is a bit...urhm...well he commented about him nastily so i shan't repeat it.
In all honesty, that does not sound all that bad. If your dad is open enough to accept "gays" then he is ahead of a lot of fathers with gay sons. Also parents generally tend to be even more accepting once they know their child is gay. (ignore this next part if you want, it may be my pain pills making me crazy, but) I don't know why, but it strikes me as odd that he said he has not problem accepting gays, but he doesn't think it is normal, for whatever reason it seems like he wants you to know he will accept it, but that it is not what he considers normal.. Any chance he might suspect you are gay, and he is testing the waters?
Well, parents make all sorts of stupid comments before they know their own children are gay. What I find ironic is that people look at the physical act of two men having sex (anal) and forget that a alot of straight people participate in the same thing. It's just crazy. What is "normal" anyway?
I don't know maybe.....it's not something he usually talks about. I don't have any problem if he suspects me of being gay..... Maybe he's suspicious because I've never had a girlfriend.
My Dad told me several times that if any child of his turned out to be gay, he would disown them. When I came out to him he accepted me without a problem and even said to me "why did you worry over a little thing like that" now obviously I'm not a guy so I don't have a father, son relationship but my point is that parents say all kinds of things they don't really mean especially after their child ends up coming out to them.
It's a normal think that peopel think something is unnormal But your dad will be suprised that you are gay for all teh things he has said about gay But dont worry since he is opened to gay people, dont feel bad, that's a good sign for a success of coming out
I was kind of in the same situation all of my childhood. My cousins, yes my cousins, would call me gay just cuz. And that was when I was around 10 years old. When they watched TV and they would see same guy without a shirt, they would always call me to the TV, for obvious reasons. I have a question to ask, can social relations , such as called being gay in your childhood, or being rejected by a girl who you though you were really close to , turn someone gay?
My husband always stomped out of the room when I watched Will and Grace or Ellen Degeneres or any of the many make over programs we have in England - I can't remember the name of the program:eusa_doh: :eusa_doh: muttering that he didn't have anything against gays but we didn't need to see it on the TV every damn time we turn the thing on... a slight exageration but there you go. Anyway back to my point, my son came out to him this summer and he didn't turn a hair... he was more upset about his tatoo!!! Go figure dads!
Im with the others on this one, I dont think you have too much too worry about. there is a huge difference between acceptance and promotion, and although he shouldnt care whether or not it is being promoted, at least he is accepting of it. and if he is accepting of the theory in general, the chances are he will be even more inclined to accept it more when it is something brought into his ever day life. lol its not quite the same, but its like my great grandma gets all offended when there are commercials about feminane hygene products, but its not like shes going to give us trouble for using them, you know what i mean, she just thinks something are sacred and shouldnt be broadcast. it all depends on what kind of man your father is.
That would be a hard question to answer. It could come down to the good old nature vs nurture deba te... Really both nurture and nature play a part in making up who a person is... But for most people, I would think, the gay thing is a nature thing. I was rasied the exact same as my brother. I was taught the way males do things and my dad was a very masculin role model (eg. he hunts, fishes, he is a carpender, etc...) and my brother is so very straight. He has no interest in men, blah. Even though I grew up believing what my dad said I should be, I am not like that. I do what I want and I do what I like. So I like boys. I was never taught to like them, in fact i was taught to discriminate against gay people. But it is not in my nature to be or like any of the things my dad taught me. Being called gay in your child hood does not mean you will turn out gay, but if you are being called gay, it may be people seeing the early signs of that individual being gay, although I think that would be hard to tell in most cases. If one is rejected from a girl you were close to, I don't see how that could make one gay... The only ways in which i can see anything like that happening would be if someone was in an abusive relationship and once out of it, could never go for the opposite sex again. Therefore one would go for the same sex, but I think there would have had to be some sort of attraction for the same sex before that happening aswell... lol well as you can see there may be a lot of factors that may make you gay or not gay so I don't know how much of a help I was to that answer. Also, I have not come out to my dad either and I know it will be very hard to do when the time comes. I have no idea how he will react but I am waiting to do it. I will know when the time is right... I hope. ha. My dad has made similar comments to gay people as well. I think of it as, if he disowns me for being gay, it is his loss as well as mine. I would not want to lose my dad but I would rather live a life true to myself than make him happy. ok enough writing now... Hope that helps!
