I've posted a couple times here. I'm trying really hard to come out to my friends. I think all my close friends would be ok and supportive of me, but theres one of my close guy friends (and my roomate) who I'm real concerned about. Last week we were sitting in our dorm room, along w/ his girlfriend, and through the progression of our conversation, he started ranting about how our Catholic university supports a week of unity, where different presentations are held to support acceptance of gays and lesbians. So he went on a rant how it dosen't embody catholic values, and that our school shouldn't promote as he says, 'that lifestyle'. But, Then he goes on to say that he dosen't have anything against gay people (although i think he is against people acting on it). Then he turns to me (btw I haven't said much in this discussion) and asks who was gay in our highschool class, and he rattles off names. Whenver he uses the term openly gay, he makes it sound dirty and wrong. Including this instance, he has in one way or another brought up the topic of homosexuality about a half dozen times or so (for example, while watching tv on a couple of occasions he has said, 'i don't like this guy, he acts real gay'). So what I'm wondering is, is there anything to look into this, or is it just what it is? In other words, should I have reason to believe that he is suspicious of my sexuality, and is testing the waters a little? Or is he just expressing his illinformed and close minded views of things? Any input would be great, thanks!
i think you should try and get more details out of him. actually ask him, if he doesn't hav a problem, y he says those things? i did that to my friends and they didn't thought i ws bi they just thought i was being randomly adamant about them not expressing negative opinions (maybe this works better if u constantly challenge people)
I am constantly calling things gay. TV shows or whatever like your example, even around my friends that i know are gay, not because of anything, but just because it is the slang these days, i realize of course that it does give a negitive connataion to being gay, but at the same time, i dont think that that is something to base whether or not someone would be accepting, my gay friends know i love them tons and tons and that i dont think anyless of them, in certain circumstances i think more of them lol.
If he was suspicious, and wanted to be supportive of you as a friend, he'd likely bring up the subject in a more positive way. I'd like to think he isn't suspicious at all - otherwise he wouldn't have said the negative things that he has.
Third! I've discovered that anyone who spouts off bigoted crap and then adds the qualifier "I don't have any problems with gays" or "I have gay friends" usually is just as bigoted as their speech suggests. Call him out on it. When he starts going off and being anti-gay, ask him why he has such issues with gay people. I bet the reaction would be worth the time!
