How did you choose the first person you told?

I told my friend Barbara first. She's sweet, and really chill. Chill is ALWAYS what you want in the first person, because then it's a good experience and will encourage you to come out to more people.

 

I told the first person who asked me, my doctor.

 

I told my then-girlfriend.
I felt that she deserved to know why I wouldn't do anything but hold hands with her.

 

Mine was my at the time best friend Nichole. I came out to her first both times I came out. Out and retreated back in the closet. For me she was the best pick because she is very open minded, happy, chill, trusting, and basically was like a sister to me.

The timing was well it was awkward at best. I think I just needed to tell someone and she was there. We were actually eating ice cream in her backyard so there really wasnt anything in particular about the timing.

 

I was meaning to wait to tell people, but it kinda just happened with my brother (older). All this summer we had gotten into a habit of having really long conversations until very late, talking about every aspect of our lives, except I had been hiding my orientation.

I had really been wanting to come out to someone just so I could talk about it, but I had decided to wait until I went off to college and proved myself successful. (I'm not really an introvert, but my social life has been really weird the past few years. I want to wait because don't want anybody to associate that with my homosexuality.) The pressure had been building for awhile.

It was weird how I came out to him because I'm normally a very structured person. We were on vacation, and I had just had a bad couple of days. When we got separated from our family in a humongous crowd because he got distracted, I freaked out on him. He could tell something more was on my mind besides that, and he guessed that I was gay. He doesn't like it at all, and we've had arguments about it being a choice :bang:, but he doesn't treat me any differently, and we're still pretty close.

I came out to my friend last week, and instead of repeating the story, I'll just link you to the thread. It was a lot more planned and turned out much better. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/48904-i-came-out-friend-today.html

 

I told my best friend. I was panicking and needed someone to help me calmly sort things out. She's a caring, thoughtful person who knows a fair bit about people and a lot about me.

 

I told my first crush, I was completely devoted to him. He told me he wasn't interested but he didn't hold it against me. And when we went on vacations as I group he wasn't uncomfortable changing in front of me or sharing a room. Now, when he breaks up with his girlfriends he knows he can come to me for a hug. And that I'll listen.

 

I came out to my friend who I'd worked with for about 3 years before that. She had come out to me about 8 months before as being openly bisexual, so I felt she's be the most understanding person for me. It turns out that I was sooo right, as she also has a degree in Social Work & actually has a really great understanding of gender issues. She even introduced me to a new friend, who was also super supportive for me too!

 

I was going to some group meetups (totally unrelated to being gay), and there was one guy who I was _very_ sure was gay. I told him, a little indirectly, he put 2 + 2 = 4 together and it went well! At work the first person I told is a musician, and has lots of gay friends, so I was pretty sure that would go well.

 

I told two of my best friends, Skyler and Ashley, one of whom was adopted by a lesbian couple when she was born, because obviously they would be accepting. I chose the timing because I had just finished watching Shelter the day before Christmas eve, and I was spending a lot of time with family and it made me overly emotional and I felt so overwhelmed by it that I had to come out.

So, I texted Skyler and we made plans to go shopping the day after Christmas, and she invited Ashley along and I came out to them in a booth at Applebees and they hugged me and told me they loved me, and then we went shopping and got some really great deals at the mall.

 

I didn't really "choose" the first person I told, I had a break-down and it just sort of came out... Oh and it was my Mom btw!

 

I told my mother's boyfriend's daughter, who's like a sister to me, mostly because she's bisexual and I knew she would accept me, even though I think I'm a gay/bi guy in a girl's body, which is considerably harder to understand, as most people consider it just a bi/straight girl. But she accepted me and I knew she would. It took a while to explain, but... I managed and we're even closer now. Good luck to you. And I hope you choose the right person. The second person I came out to (other than my mom, because i regret that. she keeps calling my a straight girl and i hate it) was my best friend and i wasn't sure she would accept me, but we have been friends and really close ones at that for so long that i was sure she would adjust, but i knew she wasn't against gays as much as she was lesbians (i'm not though), so i thought it was worth a shot, and actually i talked myself into a corner so i had to come out in that case... I wasn't sure if i had the guts to do it otherwise. lol so anyone like that would be a good idea. in my opinion... that is

Hope this helped...

 

i was 22 as well, and i just discovered/accepted it, i was overwhelmed by mixed feelings and emotions and really needed to talk

i was abroad and chose my best friend there, even thought i knew her for less than a year, she was the most understanding and supportive person in the world (and still is)

i am a very structured person too, and don't often talk about my feelings, so i just texted her to say "i'm not going very well these days, and there's something i'd want to talk bout something with you", once that done, i couldn't back off ! but it went really well

 

I started with someone who I knew would be most accepting, based on her previous support for LGBT individuals, and most willing to chat with me, since I needed to get a lot off of my chest. From there, I focused my coming outs on other friends I knew would be supportive and friends who I knew needed to know (like my roommate and suitemates). Next week, I'll tell the first friend who I expect will have a serious problem with it, then the rest of the fam (who will also have some problem with it), followed by everyone else via Facebook.

That's just my own process, and it's not the one way to do it, but I would like to recommend that you follow at least the basic idea of coming out to people in descending order of expected acceptance. It really helps to make coming out to non-accepting people easier when you've had dozens of great experiences prior to that.

 

I told my mom first. I thought it seemed fair; she's known me for 20 years. She's also my best friend.

I agonized over when, where, and how to tell her. But ultimately when I told her I was totally unprepared. I am the type of person who spends weeks planning something, and then throwing everything aside and doing it backwards, and my coming out was no exception.

Retrospectively, I had nothing to lose. She'd always told me she would love me no matter what. Also, it wasn't much of a choice, I always knew I'd tell her first.

 

I chose another gay person, which obviously helped with the acceptance factor.
I chose a gay person I had feelings for, and I told him that, which was a mistake.
Right after being turned down, I called my best friend and told him what happened.
Which is when I realized that's who I should have told first.

Lex

 

i didn't really "choose". He asked i told.

 

^^ Pretty much the same here. One of my best girl friends asked, so I had a mini panic-attack, and then I told her :dry::dry:

 

I chose a really close friend that I trusted and knew would be supportive of me no matter what. She happened to be a girl (I feel much more comfortable connecting with girls on more emotional topics).