So Close to Coming Out

[Midget]

First off, I first came out to friends a few months ago. Pretty much, it's common knowledge at school (if only because "rumors" spread fast at small schools and because people think I'm so obvious). All my friends know better than to ever say a word of it while my father is around, and they keep saying I should come out. I have been wanting to tell my father, but I know he wouldn't take it well. Besides, he didn't have a huge part in my raising, and there's no reason to tell him anything until I'm out of the house and have a girlfriend.

Anyway, today we spent Thanksgiving with his friends, who treat me like their daughter. They're lovely people. My father and his friend started telling their "San Fran fishing story," as I call it. Pretty much, the two went to San Francisco to go fishing and realized they were there during Gay Pride Week. Usually, the story ends there. My father decided to go a little further with it, telling how disgusting he was at this flamboyant display and the fact that he was surrounded by people who would probably hit on him.

Me: Don't flatter yourself.
Dad: Why are you defending them?
Me: There's nothing wrong with gay people and I assure you, my gay friends have better taste.
Dad: Trust me, there's something wrong with them.
Me: Thanks for offending myself, my friends, and ten percent of the population.
Dad: What do you mean by that?

Then I realized that saying it at a table of ten people, eight of whom were not related to me, would not be the smartest thing to do. So I just said I was offended because I'm not a bigot and left it at that. Of course, I'm grounded, but I'm glad to know that, after all these years, I finally stood my ground and tried to defend myself.

Not a coming out, but it's a step closer. I'm actually glad I didn't, though. I hate to cause scenes, and I really don't think this part of my life is my father's business. I'm just so proud of myself for opening my mouth for once. He tells these stories so often and I just sit there, trying to ignore them. I guess it's a dumb accomplishment, but... oh well. Ni modo.

Im proud of you and yes indeed is it a step closer

[sdc91]

You didn't exactly out yourself. You just stood up. Good job!

Off topic:
Thanksgiving and coming out reminds me of a David Letterman Top 10 countdown I saw a couple years ago . . . basically, the topic was "10 Signs You Had a Bad Thanksgiving".

Guess what number 1 was? I still remember it verbatim: "When the turkey came out, so did your son."

That depressed me for a while (and is kind of why I'm not coming out this week). Oh well.

[Midget]

That Letterman list.... I must say, that's a hilarious phrasing, but "bad Thanksgiving"? Ouch. That hurts.

I'm wearing this grounded like a little badge of honor now. I don't need rainbow bumper stickers if I have this! Granted, I shouldn't be online right now, but that's what parents get when they can't enforce their own punishments.

[CrimsonThunder]

Thats bad reasons for parents, it's still pretty funny I guess.

Congrats on sticking up for us Midget. =)

Your dick head dad grounded you for it though? Wow hes a great parent.

[biisme]

good for u for standing up!!

i think u should make this grounding one of YOUR "stories"

[pirateninja]

Wow, that's brilliant. I doubt I'd have had the courage to do even that, especially with people other than family at the table. Good job! I think everyone's proud that we've got you sticking up for us.

[llenadepecas]

well done. you're really brave. and because you haven't just said nothing, it probably wont be so strange when you do come out.

[Louise]

You can feel proud of yourself, you have the right to your opinion gay or straight. I'm sorry for you that your dad feels that way, so if he is in a crowd of women is he worried that they will all start hitting on him?

I think you are right when you say that your dad has no right to know about this part of your life. It is YOUR private life. There are some things of course he does have a need or a right to know about but I'm not convinced that anyone has the RIGHT to know intimate details of someone elses emotions and sentiments.

I don't say live a lie, but tell your dad when YOU feel good and ready because YOU want to.

[Midget]

Thanks, guys. =) This morning, when I woke up, I started to get a bad feeling about the entire incident, but if other people approve, I'm proud.

so if he is in a crowd of women is he worried that they will all start hitting on him?

That's brilliant! I wish I had thought of that earlier and said it!

When I told all this to one of my friends, he just said, "Isn't that what you do to everyone?" I hadn't noticed that, though. Maybe that's why I always get "DUH!"s when I come out; I always have to open my mouth and tell people to be quiet when they make comments like that. I've just never been able to do so with family.

My next task: coming out to my mom. She has gay friends and loves me even if we don't see each other often. I feel closer and eventually want her to know, but probably not anytime soon. I'd hate to crash her image of me marrying the nice boy in my math class and having a dozen kids.

[biisme]

well. u can marry a nice girl from ur math class and adopt a dozen kids.

[Midget]

I'm very fond of that idea! Haha! I mean, hey, I wouldn't like math class so much if it wasn't my one hour a day filled with gorgeous girls surrounding me! Oh, the pity of them all being straight....

One of the nice things about my family is that my mom concentrates on my sister's dating life so much more that I never have anything to fear as far as, "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" My sister's always off falling in love with guys with too many piercings and tattoos who turn out to be so sweet, then they break up, she goes for a new one, they break up, she goes back to an old one, yadda yadda. Unfortunately, when she gets married in however long, I know discussion will turn to me!

Woo good job on standing up to your dad. If you don't want him to know what gender you'd prefer to sleep with, i see no reason why you should tell him

[Midget]

Exactly what I was thinking! =) Besides, it's not as though there are many lesbians around this area; I bet my first date will end up being in college when I'm actually in a city instead of Farm Central, USA. And the moment I leave the house, I don't see a huge reason to keep close ties! Makes me feel like an awful daughter, but it's true.

Well, your unique, your family situation is unique. So you can NEVER compare yourself to anyone else therefore there are no standards so it doesn't make you awful =]

[Midget]

That makes me feel better. Thanks.

Part of me would never feel bad about not returning to my father, though. My sister left three or four years ago and hasn't spoken to him since, and she's fine only communicating with half the family. My father is pissed about it, but she's fine and certainly happier than ever.

[tiptoerainbows]

Awh, well done! The whole 'everyone hitting on me' is what makes me stop considering coming out to my friends, I don't want them to think that I check them out in the changing rooms during gym. =D good on you for having the guts to say that.

[Midget]

I've never really minded the "you're gay so you must be hitting on me" with my friends because at least they mean it like a joke. I'm used to them asking if I'm hitting on them no matter what I do, and they know to stop if I ask them to. I couldn't believe someone was actual serious while saying that, though. I couldn't just but make that answer - Don't flatter yourself!

[biisme]

yea well. i lik ur comeback and may hav to use it in the future....

[Midget]

It's up for grabs. =) I actually took it from one of my friends who was venting about his mates asking the same thing every time he came out.