I realized today how much progress I have made in accepting myself as gay, and thinking about coming out. The two weeks I have spent so far on EC reading about all of your experiences has been incredible, and what advice I could give has helped me clarify my own thoughts. I hadn't written in my diary since I joined the EC community, and I found this poem I wrote at the end of the last entry about a month ago alluding to my struggle with being gay, which I never actually had written about explicitly until today: (it is genuinely awful and should probably be censored) I harden my heart To prevent it from breaking But it breaks even faster I am a broken man I wonder what it’s like to cry I wonder where catharsis lies I wonder morning, noon, and night If I shall ever be free The guy who wrote this poem seems like a totally different person from who I am today. I am so much more content with myself. It is nice to finally have an inner self that is calm rather than fraught with conflict. I decided on whom I am going to tell first, but I won’t get to see her for a month. I suppose I have been in the closet for eight years, so I guess another month is not so bad. Thanks everyone for your help and support, sometimes just by being here and sharing your stories.
Congratulations! And that all sounds really great. You are well on your way to a happy place, it sounds like Which is totally awesome, especially in so quick of a period of time.
I'm so glad that you've been feeling so much better. My outlook on life has been improving as well. Just knowing that there's someplace supportive that you can talk about sexuality has really helped.
Your poem was absolutely gorgeous. I'm glad you're making these steps. And remember, it can take as much time as you need it to!
