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I want to come out tomorrow....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by acd92, Aug 16, 2011.

  1. acd92

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    At some point, tomorrow, I'm going to come out to my mother. I really just can't hide this from her anymore. I mean, I'm out to my entire family, (even though they chose to ignore the fact) I'm completely out on Facebook (including my interested in; both boxes are checked). I think she's just in denial because when I tried to talk to her about it originally, she said I was just "going through a phase" and, "if I like girls and guys, why not just continue to date girls so that your life isn't a living hell?" You get the idea.

    Anyway...I know I want to do it, but I just need help on HOW. And I know the people here at EC give great advice, so.... :help: (pretty please??)
     
  2. This advice is super general, but since it's helpful stuff anyway, here goes :slight_smile:

    Be calm and lay out all your cards carefully. Why you started thinking you're bisexual. What bisexuality means. Why you can't just choose to be "straight". If you calmly and carefully lay out the "argument" for lack of a better word, you're more likely to be taken seriously. This goes for anything with parents, not just coming out.

    Bring some information to the table. Print off some PFLAG stuff or other good info on what it means to be bi or to be a parent of an LGBT kid. This makes you look serious as well, not to mention it provides some reading material for your mom that says "hey, we get how you're feeling and it's okay to feel that way, but here's what you should do...your kid is bi, it's not the end of the world..." etc. That's good for parents to have. YOu have an entire community here to help you with your sexuality and how that changes your life. She doesn't have that. So give it to her :slight_smile:

    Answer any questions asked, even if they seem ignorant or rude. She might not realize that it's ignorant or rude especially if she doesn't know a lot about LGBT people. She might need some time before this all starts to make sense to her. She's losing something that she took as a given, just like you did the moment you realized you aren't straight.

    But most of all, take a deep breath and try and relax. It's going to be okay.

    Good luck tomorrow :slight_smile:
     
  3. acd92

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    Thank you dear, I will definitely take all of this advice in stride. And of course I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. (Printing some stuff out sounds like a great idea.)
     
  4. Phillip

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    Let us know how it goes! Remember to take things slow and give her time and space to make sense of it - she needs to process what you've come to realize in however many years. As thedreamwatch said, you need to be her link to the LGBT community and provide her with what she needs to familiarize herself with your situation. Regardless of how it goes, it'll be a step forward for yourself. Congratulations and best of luck to you(*hug*).
     
  5. Homo Novus

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    Wow. I congratulate you on your courage! I wish I had it in me. Don't worry, I'm sure after you do it, you'll feel so elated! :slight_smile: I look forward to the day when I'm ready to do the same. Try not to be nervous... Channel all that emotional energy into excitement! You're actually going to do it!!! Heck, I'm excited for you! For realz!! X) Kudos to you, and the best of luck! Just remember, we've always got your back! Break a leg. And keep us posted, will ya? :slight_smile:
     
  6. sloaners

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    Congratulations! I look forward to the day that I have the same courage. It will be SUCH a weight off your shoulders!!
     
  7. Gerry

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    Definitely plan on how you're going to say it and be prepared to answer a lot of questions in the coming days after you tell her. There might not be a lot of questions on the spot, but they'll most likely come afterwards. Resources are always a good example. Some parents don't look into them and others take them very seriously, it just depends but it can't help to have them handy. Good luck with this and let us know how it goes. :slight_smile: