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I came out for the first time tonight.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by dabbleinlife, Aug 17, 2011.

  1. dabbleinlife

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Only very recently in my life like the last couple of months have I finally admitted to myself that I am a lesbian. A part of me has known for a while but due to the social repercussions I have always been afraid and acted somewhat homophobic without knowing why. Finally I realise it was because I was so scared of anyone finding out, growing up is hard enough without having to come out on top of it.

    Tonight I told my best friend, through a somewhat casual text message, I had gone on a date (with a boy) a little while ago, perfectly lovely but I told her there was just wasn't right, so having done some serious soul searching since then I texted her with
    "I figured out why it didn't work out between me and (insert boys name here)...I'm gay.

    Now that last part took 10 minutes to send, I typed it and erased it at least 20 times and I started shaking and crying. Finally i pressed send. Even though I was telling my best friend who I knew accepted me no matter what I was terrified. However she replied with "Yeah I kind of knew, but thanks for coming out to me."

    We then chatted back and forth about situations over the years and made jokes of how obvious it was to her. I felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders, I felt so light and grateful that I could finally talk about my real feelings with someone. My favourite part of her reaction was when I told her about the girl I fell in love with when I travelled overseas at the beginning of the year, we became nothing more then very close friends but she was the first person that I had ever felt like that with. My friend replied with, "Yeah. at first I was totally pissed that you had replaced me but then I realised it was so much more going on there and I felt a lot better."

    My next hurdle is telling my family, they are incredibly supportive in all aspects of my life but both of my parents are pretty old school when it comes to this sort of thing, we are so close and I am really worried that this will effect our relationship, but I have already decided I can't keep pretending to be someone I'm not so I have to tell them, soon.

    I just found EC and I am so glad I did, I can't wait to get more involved in this informative and supportive community.

    Big Love.
     
  2. Katelynn

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    Congtaulations! (*hug*) It's alwasy so much of a relief to finally come out to someone, especially the very first time. I know that when I told my friend (she was the first one for me too), it took me like almost 5 minutes just to get the words out. I was a bit afraid at first because she got all qiuet on me & then she was like 'Thank you for coming out to me.' & she said she was honoured that she was the first person I picked to come out to. It is such a HUGE weight off of one's chest to finally have someone to talk to! And congrats on having such an amazing friend as well! It's always nice to know that the people we care about care about us & love & accept us for who we are when we come out to them!
     
  3. BradThePug

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    Bisexual
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    Some people
  4. Hey congrats on coming out to your friend! And welcome to EC btw :slight_smile: It's a great place here.
     
  5. Sadepeura

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    Welcome to EC and congratulations for coming out! That's a really good story. Reminds a lot of how it went when I told my best friend. Her answer was also just: "thanks, but I already knew" and then she was telling me about how she knew that I had a crush on this girl from our school. And I thought that no one knew about that!

    Good luck for telling your family. :slight_smile:
     
  6. dabbleinlife

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    Thanks everyone!
     
  7. 4alex6

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    Hey welcome to EC! Congratulations on coming out!! (!)