Gay family members

I don't have any gay relatives - none out of the closet, anyway - but I can relate to you with your mom's position of homosexuality being "against the Bible". Both of my parents threw the Biblical argument at me when I came out, even though neither of them were practicing Christians at the time (I'm the only person in my family who even attends church, ironically enough). And my entire family has made homophobic comments over the years at one point or another.

Haven't heard a peep since I came out though, which just goes to show you how often someone's perspective changes when it's their kid getting thrown over the bus for who they are.

 

You think maybe the reason she hasn't said anything else about is that she realizes you're gay? At 12, she might not have been sure whether you were or not, but maybe she wanted to see if she could influence your behavior by placing the idea in your head early that homosexuality is wrong.

What people (especially religious people) just don't understand is that you can say gay is immoral until you run out of breath to do it with, but that's going to have absolutely no effect on who roughly 10% of the population are physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to on a sexual/romantic level.

 

Well, I have no gay relatives (that I know of, and I suspect that means I don't have any), but I did have a similar situation vis-a-vis my parents before I came out.

I spent a very long time thinking about any and every possible clue I had about how they might react before I came out to my parents, and I had very little to go on. With my mother, I had never heard her speak about gay people, at all, or make any reference to gay people, at all. The only thing I had to work with, in her case, was that she had once, while watching TV with me and my brothers, changed the channel because a comedian was singing a fairly tasteless song about gay sex.
My dad, on the other hand, had once said something about "homosexuals." In a big talk about life (subjects like 'don't get girls pregnant at University, etc) before I went to Uni, he mentioned briefly that he "used to think that homosexuals were anathema, but..." and I couldn't for the life of me remember the next bit of what he said.

So, like you, I had one very small action and one tiny comment (only half of which I can remember) to work with, and it freaked me out. So, yes, in that sense my parents are like your mother. Besides those two things, I had absolutely no idea how they might react.
In the end, it worked out fine. I won't say too much detail, because I've written a lot already, but it worked out fine. All I can say is that few people will know your mum as well as you do, so if anyone can 'gut-reaction' guess how she'll react, it's you!

 

my uncle C is gay. he even has a husband, uncle R. he isnt blood related to me, even though he is from my dads side of the family (my dads stepbrother). and i dont really know him. i only see him around the holidays. they r both good guys. im thinking about coming out to him sometime next year (when i go off to college). i know he will be accepting since he is gay too.
i also have a bisexual cousin. her and my uncle C and R will be among the first family members to know.
as for my immediate family? wellll they arent so cool with homosexuality (with the exception of my sister. who only thinks it weird and thats all). my brother and mom are conservative christians. and they say things about gay ppl whenever the oppurtunity arises. they r just ignorant. its clear that they dont understand gay people and dont really care to either. its going to b super hard to come out to them. i never knew my dads view on gay ppl (he died when i was 14. the topic just never came up). i dont think he was close with my uncle C. if my dad were still alive, i think he'd come around to the idea of me being a lesbian. i just have an ingling that that is what would happen.

 

Well I don't have any gay relatives that I know of, only a cousins once removed but we never met face to face, only on facebook. As for my folks, they were friends with gays & lesbians (my father didn't like the lesbians so much, mostly cause they would joke about him).

My oldest sister knew, only because she caught me red handed smooching a guy when i thought no one was at home but never said anything. well she did once on a video she send my folks while she was in London. but for some reason they never said anything.

As for coming out to my folks, who were kinda conservative when it came to their kids, took it rather well. my mom was pretty supportive since the moment we told her *Hubby and I), my dad, well he is supportive, but it had to sink in for a couple of days. (constantly had these weird questions as do i really like guys, and why i didn't find woman attractive and how do we have sex and all those kinda awkward questions).

my mom though did tell me that she knew all along but preferred not to day anything.

As for your case, I do think your mom knows something, she may not be sure or she might wait for you to talk about it. parents are pretty good at picking these things up, well most of them anyway....

 

I have a couple of gay people in my family, but none of them are really out except for my cousin. I have two distant uncles who everyone assumes they are gay, but they have never really come out to anyone.

My cousin is a lesbian, though, and she totally came out to me right after I came out to her. Funniest experience ever. I was out before her so I sort of helped her through the whole thing. She came out to my parents, they cried, she cried and then my mom, with my cousin's permission, started leaving hints for my uncle and aunt. When my cousin came out everything went ridiculously smoothly. I also came out to my uncle and aunt after, so we have pretty much been a combo package so far. We are also planning on coming out to my aunt together over skype very soon and we are planning on doing it together with the rest of the family. Can't wait for my grandmas reaction haha

Based on my experience I would say go and come out to your gay relatives for easy practice if you want. They will be right there for you its ridcs and since they know how it feels its very unlikely that they will say anything.

My family has actually always been pretty anti-gay as far as I can remember and also very religious, but it all stopped when my cousin and I came out so I would say to try and not hold that one comment your mom made against her, which I understand can be really hard. People change, and like maverick said, she might probably already have an idea and its waiting for you to say anything.

 

I have a gay younger brother, he's almost three years younger than me, and a gay uncle on my father's side of the family. I'll try to keep it short.

My brother and I have a complicated love/hate relationship. Sometimes we'll be really close and share everything, and then something will happen and we won't speak for weeks at a time even though we live in the same house. After a while things will return to normal, with everything forgiven. He came out before I did, to my mother, and initially her reaction wasn't very positive. She said it was just a phase, and that he shouldn't tell anyone because it could hurt her chances in the election and just a bunch of other bad things, but then I came out and she really did get over that negativity. She used to go with my brother and his boyfriend on trips and stuff when they were still dating. I think it's brought us closer together as a family in general, but I really do think this has driven a permanent wedge between my brother and I. I don't want to say he's a boyfriend stealer, but it's something like that. My brother and I are already so much alike, and the fact that we're the same this way too, has damaged our relationship. We're just too competitive with one another, really. My brother and I always knew that each of us was gay too. It was just an unspoken thing between us. We kept it a secret together until we both came out.

Honestly though, I think a lot of my parent's reaction was created because of my uncle, who for lack of a better word, is just a loser. He's a former drug addict that's too lazy to work, so he lives at home with my grandparents even though he's over 40. He's a college drop-out, he's single, he's on welfare, and he refuses to do anything for himself. I think both of my parents looked at my brother and were afraid that his sexuality would hold him back in life, which my mother told him in not so many words. I think she was just afraid that my brother would end up like my uncle. When my brother first came out she said he would never be successful, and then I came out and I think that really did reassure her since everyone knows I'm on my way to the top.

No one in my family, not even my devoutly evangelical Christian grandparents have been homophobic. In fact, I distinctly remember going to my uncle's house with them and my parents when he lived with his boyfriend. I was probably six or seven, and I walked into his bedroom because I was touring the house and I remember asking my mother why they only had one bed since there were two guys living there, and she said that sometimes two men love each other very much, and left it at that.

 

I have a lesbian sister, and 2 lesbian cousins, and then there's me.
I think the gay gene runs in my dad's side of the family. Anyways, when you have family members who have pretty much faced the worst before you, you don't have as much to worry about. I would advise talking to your gay relatives and tell them your situation, and then get their advice.

 

I think I have a gay/bisexual uncle, and that's about it. I think there may be some gay or lesbian 2nd cousins I have or something out there like that, but I've never actually met them.

I'm not 100% sure though, because homosexuality is never a topic brought up as a topic of discussion among anybody in our family. I know that my Uncle is on good terms with my entire family and I presume he is out to them, but he never mentions it, the only reason I suspected it was when he wrote a status on his FB about having a boyfriend and the fact he's sorta a stereotypical gay.

But I don't know the stance from my family on gay people, aside from a passing remark from my Grandmother on my mum's side saying the Greens are 'extreme' because they want to legalise gay marriage.

All of my family is Christian, some of my friends have said when my family finds the real me they'll have a heart attack. :icon_redf The only indication I have is the general trend of levels of homophobia going down the lower the age of the family member. (i.e. there are less homophobic 20 year olds than homophobic 80 year olds, for example).

It is for this reason I'm going to wait for said grandmother above to die before outing myself to family. Heck, considering I'm only bi I may very well find in 3 years time the perfect girl, get married and bisexuality will take a back seat. It is a sad prospect, but such is life.

 

I have a gay cousin, but he lives kind of far away from me. I would totally come out to him if I could. He's a hairdresser now, and I've always wanted to get my hair cut from him. I've only actually met him once or twice, but he is one of the nicest people I've ever met.

 

As far as I'm aware, I'm the only gay person in my family, certainly immediate family anyway. For all I know, I could be the first.

 

I'm the only one that I know of in my family, but my ex-bf's (I was confused at that point) mum is lesbian, and had a partner. They're cool people

 

Wait! I lie! I just found out my cousin has a gf, and theyre engaged, her mother is also a lesbian. So there's two I know of and a close family friend just came out as gay, at the age of 70. Never too late to come out though, it upset his wife quite a bit..

 

I have 3 cousins on my moms side who are gay. I always felt like everyone thought that'd I'd be mom's one gay on but i never did come out.