Coming out to your dad?

I'm sorry to say that I have not yet come out to my dad, so I cannot offer a good post on this subject.

I wish you the best of luck though.

 

Waiting for a reply after you come out to someone can be exhausting. Don't get ahead of yourself just yet and allow the person to react first. I'm sure he will come around with time.

As for my own dad, I think I was rather lucky really. My dad has been pretty homophobic since forever to the point that he wouldn't allow me to use hand moisturizer because that is what "fags" did. Yep, he was one of those people and the comments just kept getting worse from there.

I decided to leave him for last since he was the person that I was most afraid of, but surprisingly he turned out to be the most understanding one of all. I mean, it took him maybe a month to come around, but after that he has been on my side 100% and was very helpful with my mom who was the one who actually freaked out for months after I came out to her. Go figure xD Last year, he even offered to take me to the pride parade. Most awkward car ride EVER, but it was pretty awesome of him

Really hope everything goes well with your dad, but remember to also give them time to react. It took use years to come to understand ourselves so it will also take them time to handle it. Best of luck

 

My dad isn't supportive of it at all, but he told me he loves me the same no matter what "lifestyle choices" I make and that he can't judge me, only God can do that. I would like for him to be cool with it someday, but I guess considering the fundamentalist Baptist churches I grew up in, his response wasnt as bad as could've been. He doesn't like me talking about gay things or what i do in my personal life. Like if I am going to anything pride or gay related, he just wants me to tell him I'm going to something. I am glad though that he doesn't spout anti-gay rhetoric and hates me.

 

I came out to both parents at the same time, they both took it really well but my Dad did most of the talking on their side.I remember it was midnight when I told them, and I was even prepared to move out if things were going to be awkward or worse. I think what helped my Dad was his Mum didn't discriminate against people who were different to everyone else. My relationship with both parents hasn't changed since coming out, some people don't have it that easy though.

 

My dad just kind of said okay then and are you sure and then we moved on with our lives, nothing was changed. It was very uneventful. My dad's not one for in depth conversation so I guess this makes sense.

I came out to him last in my immediate family, and i told him when New york gay marriage was legalized (and on my graduation day). It worked out well.

 

My dad was brushing his teeth at the time. Didn't even miss a stroke. He's basically apathetic about me being gay. He obviously wouldn't want to sit there and watch, but he's cool with me liking guys. Pleasantly surprising since he was raised a Southern Baptist. I guess it helps that his super cool adopted sister is a lesbian.

It was actually my mom that I was speaking to directly at the time. She didn't have much more to say than "Uh, okay." More thrown off by the fact that I felt the need to make a little event of telling her this than anything.

All in all, I think I'm done with "coming out" to people. It's just too stressful, I'd rather it come up in conversation, like how much I'm paying for rent or which brand of contacts I buy. Actually, last time I told somebody that I'm gay, we were discussing a multitool on my keychain.

 

I came out to my dad.. and it was sorta half-and-half. He was supportive, but lately, he's been coming off as homophobic towards me.

 

My dad told me it was a phase and that I would eventually get over it. That hurt. I don't think it really sunk in until I introduced him to my first boyfriend. He told me later that he didn't know how to talk to me about this, and I told him that was okay. I gave him the web address to PFLAG. He told me he didn't need to be supported to support his son.

I looked up the history on the computor the other day, and was pleasantly surprised to see that the website had been visited, extensively. It kind of made my day.

 

I haven't come out to either.. my step-dad tries to be a guys guy and really wouldnt get it hes super religious and would probably tell the court (my parents are going threw a divorce) and try to make it so I couldn't see my sisters anymore.. my real dad is another story I have lots of gay lesbian family members on that side of the family so I think he'd get it if I was gay. but Idk I don't think he'd get it if I told him I was transgender he really opinionated and Iv hear him rant about how transgenders are idiots because it doesn't make sense and blah blah I think his response would be like "so your gay"
"no"
"whatever make up your mind"
"its made up"
"don't argue it doesn't make sense"
"but"
"I'm tired of your antics shut up"
"fine" sticks tongue out and goes into another room
basically he'd just treat it like a non issue and that i was being stubborn

 

Well, we were talking about me not having a boyfriend, and I said: 'Why do you assume I'm into boys? I could be into girls for all you know.' And he said: 'Well, okay, then. Are you? Into girls, I mean.' I said yes and he was like: 'Sweetie, I really couldn't care less. But my rule still stands. Choose someone nice and be safe.'
When I came out to my mom, I found out that my uncle (my father's brother) was gay (I know, sounds weird, but he only had boyfriends until my aunt came along). So maybe that's also why they were so cool about it. They're used to it.
Hey, I just thought of something. If my uncle was gay, then my extended family won't care that I am.

 

I don't ever plan to come out to my dad. It's just a conflict that's best avoided knowing that he is a very traditional Asian and at the same time very close-minded. We don't even have a good relationship at all. A lot of the things in my life were and are effed up because of him.

If he ever finds out though.... I still haven't got an idea on how I'm gonna deal with it.

 

I'd say it went "really well". He actually smiled and said "That's all you were trying to tell us? You had me worried it was going to be something bad!" Then there was the whole "This doesn't change anything, we love you no matter what" speech. And it hasn't. If anything, we're closer than we were before. Twenty minutes after I told him we were back to our discussion of who we thought was going to win the Superbowl that year.

I was kind of surprised at how well he took it, to be honest. He's lived his entire life in a small section of rural, extremely conservative southwest Iowa. He'd never had an openly gay family member or any gay friends or anything. But I should have known that being homophobic and intolerant just isn't part of who he is...I guess I was just fearing the worst. I imagine it helped too that we're from one of the few very liberal and non-religious families in swia.

 

My coming out to my dad went well. He just wants me to be happy.

 

My dad doesn't know since he's been out of my life for many years.

 

Came out to my dad...well we're Asian...so...it didn't go that well. I wouldn't say badly, but it ended up being "unaccepted" since he ended up saying to me "decide on it a bit more" im like wtf. Now i'm pestered with questions about girlfriends FROM him all the time...damn denial...

 

At first, my dad didn't think I was being serious. He flat-out asked me if I was playing a joke on him, and when I explained that I wasn't, he went into the whole "how do you know if you haven't slept with a women yet" thing. I, of course, gave him the reasonable explanations and when he found out just how much of a toll it took on me he slowed down and listened. After I was done explaining myself he told me that he loved me and he just wanted me to keep my options open, but he'd still support me whether I ended up with a man or a women. I'd say it went "well". We don't really talk about it, and I'm cool with that, because I relationship hasn't gotten any worse.

 

I came out to my mom first then it went well. Coming Out to my dad was hard for me but I did. We have the dad to son talk and I explained to him about it(he thinks maybe I'm just curious or bisexual or something). He's worried about me having a family someday and he really wanted me to have kids someday. I said to him I could have a family it just not the traditional way. After that it's like nothing happened and it's back to normal. I love them both.

--->My only problem now is how to come out to my two younger brothers(I'm the first born).

 

Never had the chance to come out to my dad cuz he went and died before i had a chance! I'm sure he would have been okay though, he had some clues i wasn't exactly straight...

 

I put really well. My dad's brother, my uncle, is gay so I think it gave him some time to come around if he ever was homophobic. I told my mom first. I told her she could tell him. He didn't say anything about it and acted the same toward me. (we weren't very close back then to begin with). I mean we still don't really talk about it. But I've brought a couple of my boyfriends home and he was fine. He said he liked them both. I'm glad to see not too many people's dads reacted badly.