So I just came out to my 3 sisters last night (all 10+years older than me), and it was amazing. Instant hugs and 'we love you'. I asked them how they thought our parents would react and they all agreed they would be fine. Even for the last 4 weeks I've been pumping myself up to tell them, figuring they are so accepting and patient, and also figuring they probably knew already (spoiler alert: they didn't). So I came out to them this morning and I can best describe it as 'weird but okay'. My mom noticed I was behaving weird and asked if I was feeling okay, or if I was hungover (haha). So I said "I need to tell you guys something", started crying, and eventually got out "I'm gay". My mom responds with "Okay.." and then followed by about 30 seconds of silence as I'm sitting there crying. My dad finally pipes in with "at least you are living now, rather than 50 years ago". followed by more silence and me crying. Eventually I said "this is weird, you are supposed to say you still love me, and hug me!" (which seems demanding, but I wasn't thinking clearly). and my mom says "of course we still love you!", but stays in her seat. 30 seconds pass and finally my dad awkwardly pretends to be moving a dish from one place to another, and gives me a hug. I finally just went over to my mom and gave her a hug. This all seems very weird because we have NEVER been weird about showing affection. We hug almost everytime we meet and depart from seeing eachother, and are always telling eachother we love eachother. On top of this, now today I've been getting texts from my sister telling me she's not going to tell my 16 year old nephew or my 7 year old neice. I worry these are fueled by my brother in law who isn't exactly Mr. Open-Minded. This all sucks. I have been living on cloud 9 as I came out to all my friends, all who have been exceedingly accepting. This was the last hurdle and I envisioned overwhelming love and support, but got this.
I printed out the PFLAG's Daughters and Sons booklet for my mom. She put it on the coffee table and is currently doing crossword puzzles.. I think I'm going to drive around and scream in the car
Okay, things just got way better. I've been stewing away in a bedroom all morning analyzing the situation, and my mom just came in bawling and said "The thing that hurts the most is that you thought you couldn't tell us". I reassured her that I wasn't ready to tell ANYONE until just 4 weeks ago, and I wanted to tell them in person (I live in UT, am visiting WI for the weekend to tell them). We hugged and cried, and ended up joking at the end. I think she just needed a bit of time to process her thoughts. So much better.
It's a lot for someone to process sometimes, especially a parent, Give them both some time, plus be prepared for a delayed reaction. More than likely, they'll come around, it sounds like they just need some time. After all, this isnt new to you at all, but it certainly is for them.
Hey Plaid, I don't know if you remember me, but we kind of posted the same story about a year ago on this site, and ever since I would periodically check this site to see if you had updated. I'm sure it sounds weird, but our stories were so similar that I felt a (totally nonsexual) connection. And I'm so glad that you are finally out! It really is a big deal and a huge accomplishment. I came out to my parents back in April. Again, we had similar things happen. Telling them something like that is an incredible shock. I don't think many parents think their child is gay. So to them, you were always going to be someone who married a woman and when you told them otherwise they did not know how to handle it. It's not that they don't love you, because they do, they just never expected you to tell them that. When I told my parents, my dad said, "well it's your life, you need to live it as you seem fit", and my mom just sat there and didn't say much. It ended with me storming out of the house because they weren't saying anything. But we later cleared the air, and though i don't think they are completely on board yet, I think in time they will be. So hang in there, man. I'm available to chat if you want.
