So I've kinda been trying not to think about my sexual orientation since I came out as bi when I was 16. I just thought I was bi and that was the end of it. But since then I've only really dated girls and it just felt different to be with them. Like it felt right. And finally tonight it just hit me hard so of course I called my best friend (who's a lesbian which makes this sooo much easier but she's only out to me) and I was talking to her about all of this and I eventually came out to her and another close friend (who is also a lesbian and has been out for a while and I figured she would be a good person to talk to about this). And I ended up accidentally coming out to my ex girlfriend (who I kind of still have a thing with. She thought I was bi.). I mean I'm kinda happy about it but at the same time no one else can find out. My best guy friend is in love with me and it would devastate him if he knew and my other friends just wouldn't take it well. And my family is another story. They've accepted that I'm bi but they won't accept that I'm a lesbian. This scares me a lot and I don't know why. I know I should be happy about this and I am but there's also that fear hanging there too. Well that's my story
Congratulations for coming out to your best friends! But honestly, are you sure there's such a big difference between being gay and being bi? Many people seem to just assume that all bisexuals are gay anyway and then they get really shocked when those people start dating someone of the opposite gender. This has happened to many of my friends and I find it quite funny. And about your best guy friend... Do you not think that it would just be fair for him to tell him that you're gay? He might be sad for a while but then he would get over you a lot quicker and you could go back to being best friends that can be honest about everything. Now you're just giving him false hope. A little bit of the same thing with your family. They know you like girls but are just hoping that you would end up with a guy right? I suppose it's less important to tell them though, because they already know that you might end up marrying a girl. When the time is right, they will find out. Why don't you want anyone else to find out? You sound really scared which makes me really worry about you. I mean surely you must have gone through all this when you came out as bi. Was it this difficult that time too or is this fear something new?
That has happened to me a few times.. Congrats on coming out to your best friends!! I can understand having the fear twice, I came out once as bisexual and once as bigendered. It gets easier, as you come out to more people. I can now be open about being bisexual, but it's harder for me to be open about being bigendered. It just takes time for you to accept it.
I feel like if i tell my best guy friend that ill lose him forever and i dont want that to happen because i honestly cant live without him. And as for my family, they think its just some phase im going through or something because my cousin came out as bi when she was my age and dated girls but now shes pregnant and with a guy so i think my family assumes i will turn out like that. The other weird thing with my family is that they dont mind gay men but lesbians are a wholeeee other story. Dont ask me why because i honestly dont know and im afraid of being rejected. And i guess i see why people dont think coming out as bi or gay is much different but in my world it is. I could lose everything
I can see why you're worried. But honestly, I really doubt that he would leave you. Are you trying to say that he's only spending time with you now because she's hoping that you would start to fall in love with him? If that would be the case, he wouldn't be your real friend. But I can't believe that it would be the case. Perhaps, when you tell him that you're gay you should also tell him how much he means to you as a best friend. It really sounds like you're worried and that you have a good reason to worry! The truth is however that worrying doesn't get you anywhere. And I don't think you will get rejected, they will still love you. I don't think you're going to lose everything. But I would recommend you just to calm down and accept the fact that you're gay. And then getting up the courage to tell your guy best friend. You will still have your other friends you told already to support you. Good luck!
Actually yes that's pretty much why he does most of what he does for me because he thinks one day I will love him and marry him. He tells everyone that he's going to marry me some day
That sounds awful! And tricky. :S I still think that the best thing would be to have a little talk with him. Not necessarily to come out, but just to tell him how important he is to you and how you doubt that you will ever marry him. And if your lesbianism happens to come up during this talk, then good, but it shouldn't be the main point of the talk. Talking usually makes things a lot better.
