has anyone been here ever been married? I am bi (but i am more attracted to guys as a general rule) and was married for 7 wonderful years. I still haven't come out to my ex, despite the fact that she is very 'gay friendly'. Any stories or experiences to share?
I have never been married, but my partner is divorced. If you want to talk about anything you can PM me. I dont' know how much help I'll be, but I'm willing to give it a shot. my partner is in the same boat you are by the way.
Yes, Jim was and he could give you some good advice. Hopefully this post will move it back to the top and he'll see it. If not, PM him!
LOL! Here I am everyone! The previously married gay guy! :smilewave (My life if just so surreal - I can't help but laugh some times! ) Long story made short: I was married for 9 years when I came out to my wife - about a year ago now. She was devastated for a couple of reasons, and we've since separated. However, she has been VERY supportive (very doesn't really cut it, to be honest...) and is even HAPPY for me that I've met someone new! *Looks for recommendation form for sainthood* You can PM me any time if you want to chat more.
New member here, and yes, I was married too. Here's a bit of my story: I've known I was gay since sixth grade, but like so many guys, I denied it and stuffed the whole subject in a little box in the back of my mind, afraid to deal with being “different”. Amazingly, I was able to forget about it all for a long time. Fast fwd to high school and just after, where I met and became BEST friends with the girl who would become my wife and the mother to my two sons. Now, the interesting thing is, I really did fall in love with her, and loved her completely. Our emotional bond was deep, we were very close, and went forward in the same manner as any other traditional young couple starting out, creating a family and a future together. As far as me being gay, well, to be honest, it just wasn’t an issue. The intimacy between my wife and I was great, as far as I knew; I wasn’t missing anything because I didn’t know any better. That being said, though, I was online looking at gay porn every time I had privacy to do so. It was how I found release for “that side of me”, and never longed to do anything more. I never considered “exploring” that of which I’d been in denial, not as any sort of self-discovery, or coming to terms with my sexuality. And it wasn’t because I was afraid, ashamed, or confused. In my mind, it would have been cheating, plain and simple. Another leap ahead, this time to just over a year ago. Long-brewing problems, most of them tied to emotional and mental health issues with my wife, finally caused us to separate. In no way did my sexuality (which I thought I’d kept very well hidden) have any bearing on the collapse of my marriage. Looking back now, however, I realize that a lot of MY unhappiness in EVERY aspect of my life had a lot to do with that ever-present, oppressive weight I carried, hiding from my true self. Of course, that DID affect my ability to give 100% of myself to the issues at hand in my marriage, so I guess my orientation did play at least a small part in the eventual doom of my relationship with my wife. In the time since my separation (the divorce isn’t final yet), I have finally faced (through the stages of acknowledgment, realization, acceptance, and embracing) who I am, and have never been happier in my life, EVER. I have lost 40 lb., work out, feel physically and mentally healthier than ever in my life, and have become such a better person. It’s truly been a spiritual journey and a series of epiphanies for me, and I feel blessed beyond words.
