So I guess I came out to my mom yesterday. I am proud but I also regret it. Her reaction hasn't been the most supportive. Maybe I wasn't clear enough. But I told her I had been seeing someone (of the same sex) and that I think I like guys. I couldnt outright say 'im gay' but i wanted her to know what i am struggling with and why i have been acting so weird. I am 28 years old and have tried to repress things for a long time, hoping it would go away. But I am attracted to men. I guess she doesn't know how to take it but she definitely didn't say...oh honey I knew....or, I still love you. She said..it is what it is.. Shes like how do u know i said i just do. I haven't told anyone else, I just felt like I had to tell her and it was burning me up inside. I thought she always suspected and that shed be "ok" with it. I just felt like I am getting older and I need to say something. I've never had girlfriends or talk about girls..I have tried to repress these feelings. I feel like maybe I wasn't clear enough to her but I don't want to bring it up again. Fuck my life I hate it. I'm so sad..I feel like I shouldn't have said anything. She is barely speaking to me. I'm so depressed I feel like crying but I don't want to show that. I feel like I'm too old to be confused and I need to know and move on.
Congratulations on telling some one. Sorry it didnt go as well as you wanted but i will get better. I know how you feel about repressing your feelings. I have been there and also did it for many years. All i can say is just give you mom some time and maybe try not to say that he is some one that you are seeing but a friend. It will help eas her in to the idea. But again congratulations its a big step.
Congratulations for having the courage to come out! I'm sorry your mom didn't take it as well as you hoped, but give her time. Remember, you've had a while to think about this and accept yourself - she needs some time, too.
Hey sweetheart (*hug*), first thing, congratulations on telling your mother (*hug*). I'm sorry her reaction wasn't so good and you're perfectly entitled to feel sad, but that was very brave of you to tell her and you should be proud of yourself for this (*hug*). Now, sure your mom's reaction wasn't that supportive but it wasn't so bad either, allow her some time to get used to it. It took you 28 years to admit to yourself that you're gay, she may need a bit of time herself. Here is a link to a Pflag booklet that you may want to give her : http://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=495 It may answer some of the questions she has, and it can give you an opportunity to talk to each other about it. Take care and let us know how things are going, (*hug*) Cécile
Thanks everyone. She is clearly upset and I'm just trying to give it time. Her reaction has made me want to withdraw even further. We had dinner last night with a group and I was very quiet. Afterward she got upset with me and questioned why and said that I'm so distant. Well maybe if you were warmer I wouldn't be so quiet. I just think to myself how different I am and not having a lot of support makes me sad, which is why I get quiet. I wish she would have been more loving and I thought she would be. I always thought she suspected i was gay. I haven't been working and now I'm too depressed to start. I've been seeing two different therapists. I'm sad that it has to be like this but I am trying to solve it thats why I got help. I know waiting to tell her wouldn't have made a difference but maybe I should have thought it threw better, or haven a stronger support system in place. O well shoulda coulda woulda, right? She probably feels like she doesn't know me anymore, and where did this all come from. Well this is why I said something, mom. I could continue to pretend everything is fine like I have been for years...but it's not. And what was i to do differently? Tell you I had these feelings years ago? Cuz your reaction proves that would have been any better then? She's entitled to feel however she does, but she doesn't get that it's just pushing me more away. I think she feels guilty that maybe I'm still so "confused" and I am the age that I am. Maybe my way of telling her was more roundabout but I thought she would get it? I'm glad I finally said something but a part of me does regret it, like why did I open this can of worms I'm so stupid! I am glad that I said something and proud of myself, but I am wondering if I should have done anything differently. I still live at home. I am quite upset and went to bed crying. I don't even want to face her. Maybe I sound too old for all of this but it just is. ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2011 at 08:06 AM ---------- I understand that she probably feels like she doesn't know me anymore but what was I to do? Hide forever? I could have, but I felt I wasn't close with her anymore which is why I told her. And her reaction isn't making me want to get closer to her it's driving me away.
Sir maybe you could try talking to her again? I mean just sit and talk. Let her ask questions, maybe she'll come to understand you better. She might just be very confussed. A long discussion is the best I think. It might not turn out good but at least you might not feel so stressed any longer.
