I'll start at the begining, when I was in fifth grade I became best friends with a girl named Olivia. I was very close with her and still am, so for her birthday she had a slumber party, only four were there. Olivia, my best friend Maria, my friend Hannah, and of course myself. We began to play the game teenage truth or dare, not a good idea for 11 year olds. We dared each other to kiss the other person. Olivia and I kissed, and that's all it was, at first, then the kissing continued. The other girls caught on very quick but said nothing, and continued to dare us to kiss each other. First it was just kissing then slowly, ever so slowly, we started french kissing. After the game we decided to go to bed, Olivia and I got on our ds's and logged onto pictochat. She came out to me that she was bi sexual and had a huge crush on me, at first I didn't know what to think of this, we used to and still say that we love eachother, to all our friends. Like Maria will say it to me, I'll say it to her, stuff like that so I said I'm not bi and I don't like girls. Now's were it gets interesting, all night I couldn't sleep, I was too buisy thinking about what my best friend had just said, I decided that I might be bi, maybe. But I didn't want to be, so I supressed my feelings and hid them for the longest time. Fifth grade ended and I had no problems with my sexuality after that, right before sisth grade started I got into the anime Naruto and developed my yaoi obsession. Crazy right? I wasn't even twelve yet, but that didn't stop me from watching hard yaoi fanfics and doujins, that what triggered it, my real feelings for women popped up. Sixth grade started and I had gym first, before art started the next semester. I had to go into the gym locker rooms to change of course and get a locker. I sat down and in came the eighth graders, Madison, the first person I noticed. I had NO IDEA I was in love with her at that time, I had a HUGE obbsession with anime so I had weird paranioned thoughts, which have ended up being my homo feelings. I didn't know anything at that time but I really loved and still love her, she had bright, short red hair, she was tall and very tan. I admired everything about her, she means the world to me, when I finally realized it, it was too late. I had already fallen head over heals in love with her, I told Olivia my bi feelings first, then Maria came a few days later. I read thousands of articles on the internet about how to determin if your bi sexual and what to do. I read one article that said you should practice what your going to say if you come out. It suggested writing a letter without sending it or typing up an email and save it to your drafts. I did the second option and it made me feel alot better! At my birthday slumber party I came out to Hannah and then let both Hannah and Maria read the email about two weeks ago I told Olivia I have a crush on her, which I do, but then a few days later I told them (Maria, Olivia, Hannah) that I had a crush on Madison. Nothing changed, we are still as close as ever and I'm really happy about that. A few days ago I got a tracking devise put on my computer and it tracks EVERYTHING, I got in a HUGE fight with my mom about this and she got really angry with me too. On thursday of last week we yelled at each other in the kitchen pantary and then I said I wished everyone would leave me alone. I said that there are things I can;t tell my mom and I would prefer not to tell her. She asked me like what and I instantly started crying, she asked me if it had something to do with homosexuality and I nodded my head yes. We sat down and talked about it, my mom decided that she doesn't think I am and that she thinks that I don't think I am. It made me mad and then she asked me a bunch of questions which also annoyed me. About a day after I came out I started writing a book called My Fantasy, which is about what I would LIKE to happen between Madison and I. I would love to tell you everything worked out between Madison and I but I can't, because nothing has happened yet. I'm still in sixth grade (Held back in preschool because of late birthday) and she is still in eighth, I would love to tell her how I feel but then again, I'm young, I may even end up straight. So I'm trying to wait, but it's not working out too well.
