So today is the 4th day since I came out to my girlfriend and we officially broke up. She is still very angry with me at times, but we've managed to have some talks as well and I think she starting to accept that we aren't right for oneanother. It's tough for her because she isn't willing to stay with her mom so she's forced to couch surf. I can tell that she's having a pretty rough time, so when she's angry I'm not judging her for it. On my part, it's been good having some time to myself to discover this piece of my personality and to come to terms with being gay in a way that is congruent with who I am and what I want out of life. I have had doubts along the way, and the same kind of patterns of self-loathing and denial that kept me closeted for so many years are hard habits to break. But by being patient and loving toward myself, and accepting of the desires I have, it's becoming easier. I have to say that I love being gay. It feels so right, and I am so relieved to finally be able to say it out loud. I'm definitely nervous about what it's going to be like "out there" especialy since Holly was my only serious relationship and I have never been very confident in the whole dating scene, but I'm saving that for down the road. Right now I want to be good with me first. I appreciate everyone's loving support and I'll keep in touch here as things develop. Metta -Travis
