OMG, I just came out to my mother!

[TheAnonymity]

Like the title says.

My guidance counselor helped tell my mom that I was depressed and helped me tell her I could use some therapy. Tonight, my mother was poking me for why I was depressed and whatnot. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I even cried a bit. I kind of led her to the topic, and talked about stuff in the Bible, and then I showed her the video of West Wing and Bartlett talking about gays and stuff.

It went well. She was open to it, and of course she has misconceptions about it, but it took me a year to work on it and settle most of the issues, so she can't work it out all in one night.

However, she did worry about me like a mother would, because she was obviously not in complete denial, but the topic was new to her, so she worried that I was young, and that I shouldn't "paint myself into a corner" with labels. She was worried that society might have made me label myself as this, but I went through the usual stuff, like how do you know you're straight and whatnot, but overall, it went better than I thought it would.


Any advice to help me help her?

[GuiltyConscious]

For some reason, your story makes me want to go "awww."

The only advice I can give you is that her full acceptance of your sexuality will definitely take a long time. If she has questions, answer them, if she wants to express her concern, let her. So far it sounds like you've been doing a good job at that. Don't be surprised if you find her crying alone in her bedroom; its all a part of the coping process. Just try and be there for her, like you would want her to be there for you.

[Eleanor Rigby]

First thing, congratulations for telling your mom ! That's a huge step !
As for helping her, you can start with printing her this Pflag booklet : http://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=495
I think that can answer many questions she may have. You can read it with her, or let her know that she can ask you any questions she may have afterwards.
You can also suggest her to look at the Pflag website (PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and maybe to search if there is a Pflag chapter in your area. Talking with other parents of Lgbt people who have been going through exactly what she's going through now can only help her becoming more supportive and accepting.
Good luck and let us know how things are going , Cécile

[britt989]

Wow, good job! That seems like it went really well. You seem very realistic in your expectations of her that she will need time to understand and accept this just like you have. I would suggest attending a PFLAG meeting together and keeping an open line of communication - don't let your coming out just get brushed under the rug and never talked about again! At the same time, you don't need to talk about it all the time. Just because you're gay doesn't change the fact that you're still her son; she will still badger you about doing the dishes, coming home at a reasonable hour, etc. etc.

This is a great advice website, and they have tackled issues like this from both perspectives (child and parent) everyoneisgay.tumblr.com

[britt989]

That is so great! It seems like everything went better than expected. You are definitely very realistic in your expectations for your mother: understanding that she won't just "get" your sexuality overnight. Your best bet would be to keep an open communication line with her and make sure that you coming out doesn't get brushed under the rug and never talked about again! A really great resource would be PFLAG, like Eleanor suggested, or my personal favorite advice website ever, everyoneisgay.com. They have soooo many Q+A's posted! Good luck with everything (: