Told the guy who's in love with me :/

[Tiny Catastrophe]

One of my best guy friends is like totally in love with me to the point where he tells people he's going to marry me one day. He had hacked my computer when I posted something about questioning whether I even like guys or not and he got all upset. At that point I was only questioning but a few weeks ago I figured it all out and he was asking me about it today so I finally told him. It didn't go well. He told me how selfish I am for not telling him right away and that now everything has to change and he talked about all of his emotions and when I told him how I haven't even really completely accepted myself and how hard this is for me he just said "oh well, that's life". And continuing to telling me how he wasted 2 years of his life waiting for something that was never going to happen. I never promised him I would be with him. And now he's still going on about his emotions and telling me I'm selfish so now I feel even worse. Not the most happy coming out story but that's how it happened.

[malachite]

um...hacking your computer and telling people he is going to marry you when you tell him your not interested is damn near stalking. So, NO you shouldn't feel bad

[Ghostly]

>_> hmm he hacked your computer....^ I agree with Malachite
It seems your friends was going a bit to far :s and it's not your fault you're not entirely sure of your sexuality so you shouldn't feel bad

[redstormrising]

if anyone's selfish it's him, thinking only of his own feelings and not how difficult this must be for you. and yes, the hacking your computer is rather stalkerish :/

[kiersten]

On the one hand, I have to agree wth what's been said. Your friend seems to be a bit selfish if he's hacking your account & telling everyone you two will get married. I also agree that his actions are also pretty scary too. On the other hand, he has built up a really elaborate imagined relationship in his mind (which is pretty scary too, even before you had figured everything out you should have told him that what he was doing was really inappropriate & scaring you), so know that you've told him, he's probably feeling pretty hurt & like he's lost something. Give him some time. If he comes around, he'll realize that he still has you as a friend & nothing will change that. If he doesn't I'd say try to avoid him, as he may become even scarier & possibly dangerous to be around. He probably is also feeling a bit embarrassed, since you know know who you are, while his sense of identity has been tied to you & being with you for so long, plus, he went & told everyone he's going to marry you, so he probably thinks he'll look like a huge idiot or, even worse, people will think he's the one who turned you gay (hey, sometimes that's how straight people think, even if it's not true)....