Coming out while still questioning

I am still questioning what exact label I happen to be. I know for sure that I am attracted to woman, to what degree I don't know. And I know for sure that I am attracted to men, but again, to what degree I don't know.

Anyways, three people know. One is a co-worker who is gay and proud. Another is my best friend who is straight but admits she likes looking at females. And the other is my best friend's roommate who is bisexual.

I guess what my point is, is that I found it easy to come out to these people because I knew they wouldn't judge me since they have been in the same position I am in.

The first step is admitting it to yourself. The second step is admitting it to a fellow gay

[Foxywolf]

In my personal opinion it is fine to come out when you are still, 'questioning' as long as when you come out you tell the people you come out to that you are still questioning and you don't put a label on yourself. If you come out as gay or bi while still questioning then that could become a problem because you could realize that you are gay or bi and have come out as the wrong one in the first place.
Glad you found some supportive people to come out to though.

[technoddot]

I'm mostly still questioning as well... I'm pretty sure I'm gay... but not ready to officially declare that as my label.

I've come out to a similar array of friends... first was a gay friend, second was my best friend (straight, but admittedly not 100% so), and third was his fiance-- she is actually closeted bi, which I learned that same night.

But then for NCOD, I randomly decided to tell an old friend from high school that I keep in contact with via IM and occasional visit... he was cool with it, but he's straight. He did question my phrasing of "probably gay", but it went alright, he was cool with it.

I think not knowing for sure is just a point of caution. It kinda did discourage me from telling more people for the rest of the day. I went into NCOD thinking, eh, I can just tell a few random friends, what the heck. But I only told the one because of my unsure-ness.

While labels aren't important... it certainly does make coming out less strenuous. In hind sight, I should have held off telling my this 4th person... but it really isn't a big deal.

[stilllovelyafte]

I've thought the same thing, but I worry about being so exposed. Did you/do you worry that sharing this info when you're still figuring it out can be more confusing? I go back and forth - it may be incredibly clarifying, but the concern, questions, etc., might just lead to more confusion.

Originally Posted by stilllovelyafte

I've thought the same thing, but I worry about being so exposed. Did you/do you worry that sharing this info when you're still figuring it out can be more confusing? I go back and forth - it may be incredibly clarifying, but the concern, questions, etc., might just lead to more confusion.

I have worried about that but I made it clear that I was still questioning. I mostly talk about it with my best friend bc she is unbelievably understanding and nonjudgemental so she just lets me vent and ramble and is supportive of whatever I come to figure out.

And I find that her questions actually help me put all my thoughts in perspective. Like, I put my mess of a mind out there and she organizes it hahaha

[technoddot]

Originally Posted by stilllovelyafte

I've thought the same thing, but I worry about being so exposed. Did you/do you worry that sharing this info when you're still figuring it out can be more confusing? I go back and forth - it may be incredibly clarifying, but the concern, questions, etc., might just lead to more confusion.

I think it's better to talk to people about it... I lead on that I'm probably leaning towards gay... but cautioned everyone I told that I just can't say it with certainty yet.

It might add to my confusion, but it also adds people to talk to about it... so it probably nets out even.

If you're worried about your friends confusion... well... I wouldn't. I doubt they dwell on it or anything like that. And you can just let them know when you figure it out.