probably not the best time - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Rooni321 · 12th Oct 2011, 10:03 AM

So I want peoples idea on my coming out..strategies?? Lol
I always feel like the lgbt community gets a step closer to changing the world each time one of us comes out of the closet ^_^
With that being sad....

Would it be better to come out when I'm out of the house, in college, and when I can support myself? (Next year)

Or more currently, on fb?

Allecto · 12th Oct 2011, 10:31 AM

Just do whatever feels more comfortable.

Hot Pink · 12th Oct 2011, 10:43 AM

If you're waiting for the "perfect" time to come out, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life. Simply put, there really isn't a good time to come out, there's only strategies. The best strategy is to come out to one person at a time. People usually start with the person they're closest to.

Ianthe · 12th Oct 2011, 05:05 PM

You live in San Francisco. Surely you have some idea what your parents think of gay people? How likely would they be to disown you? Or punish you in some way?

Sometimes we tell people to wait until they are self-supporting. This is in case their parents might turn them out into the street to starve, or something equally drastic. If nothing like that is a concern, then you can come out whenever you feel prepared to. Deceiving, or even just withholding from, the people you love most is something I would recommend only if it's really necessary for survival. You end up feeling like no one really loves you--how can they, when they don't even know you?

So, really, I don't think you've given us enough information about the situation to be able to give very good advice.

12th Oct 2011, 10:03 AM	#1
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	probably not the best time So I want peoples idea on my coming out..strategies?? Lol I always feel like the lgbt community gets a step closer to changing the world each time one of us comes out of the closet ^_^ With that being sad.... Would it be better to come out when I'm out of the house, in college, and when I can support myself? (Next year) Or more currently, on fb? __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

12th Oct 2011, 10:31 AM	#2
Allecto Fear this queer Full Member Gender: Femmebot Orientation: I'm pansexual, but right now I prefer femmes. ^_^ Out Status: So out of the closet that I was never really in. Location: The Berkshires Age: 22 Posts: 352 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: probably not the best time Just do whatever feels more comfortable. __________________ And don't you know you're beautiful. ♥

12th Oct 2011, 10:43 AM	#3
Hot Pink EC Addict Full Member Gender: Transsexual: MtF Orientation: Panromantic Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Minnesota, USA Age: 27 Posts: 622 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: probably not the best time If you're waiting for the "perfect" time to come out, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life. Simply put, there really isn't a good time to come out, there's only strategies. The best strategy is to come out to one person at a time. People usually start with the person they're closest to. __________________ Pffffffft...

12th Oct 2011, 05:05 PM	#4
Ianthe EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female/Femme Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon Age: 32 Posts: 1,085 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: probably not the best time You live in San Francisco. Surely you have some idea what your parents think of gay people? How likely would they be to disown you? Or punish you in some way? Sometimes we tell people to wait until they are self-supporting. This is in case their parents might turn them out into the street to starve, or something equally drastic. If nothing like that is a concern, then you can come out whenever you feel prepared to. Deceiving, or even just withholding from, the people you love most is something I would recommend only if it's really necessary for survival. You end up feeling like no one really loves you--how can they, when they don't even know you? So, really, I don't think you've given us enough information about the situation to be able to give very good advice.

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