Coming Out... And getting into college. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

reallyrandomguy · 13th Oct 2011, 03:02 PM

I'm currently in the thick of writing college application essays, and one of the essays that I had to write had a choice of three questions. I chose the one that asked something along the lines of "Why is the journey to be oneself unique?" and wrote about growing up Christian and discovering my sexuality.

Since I'm currently in the closet to everyone except my parents (For now...),and I had talked with my mom about wanting to come out, I figured this might be a good way to do it. So, I printed off a few copies and planned to deliver them to my friends, with the intention of asking them to proofread it.

I ended up giving only two friends a copy of the essay. One of them was the girl who had asked me to my Junior Prom and had developed a friendship with over the course of the year. The other was a guy friend who had helped me shoot my application video and is a member of my church. I'm pretty sure they'll both be supportive, as the girl helped found the GSA this year, and the guy is pretty liberal and okay with the LGBT(...) community. The one thing that worries me is that the girl has a crush on me, but I'm hopeless when it comes to guessing who's interested in who, and my "gaydar", "bidar", and "straightdar" are all in dire need of repairs.

Here's how it went down:
I essentially folded up the paper, asked them to read it when they got a chance, and let me know what they think of it. Then, I disappeared into the crowd of people participating in homecoming week activities.

I have yet to hear from either of them, but when I checked my calendar, I noticed that today was the one-year anniversary of me being out to my parents. That just made the experience that much better.

thecat06 · 13th Oct 2011, 08:39 PM

Congrats!! I hope that it goes well for you!! I think that it was a good idea to write your college essay about that. The internal battle between religion and you sexuality is a major part of you being unique.

**TheEdend** · 13th Oct 2011, 11:26 PM

Love the idea of coming out like that. The one thing to keep in mind is that sometimes people put off proofreading papers for friends, so keep that in mind if they take too long to say anything.

Hope you get good responses from them

HantsBen · 15th Oct 2011, 02:36 PM

Sounds a great way of coming out, hope your responses are good and keep us informed

reallyrandomguy · 15th Oct 2011, 03:28 PM

Thanks for the good wishes!
Just an update: I've heard back from H, the girl, and she immediately gave me a hug. At lunch that day, we just talked about regular stuff. She mentioned, and I quote: "Guy on guy does for me what girl on girl does for guys." At that point, I knew she was fine with it. We talked a bit about it at the football game last night, and it was quite fun. We might meet up at the homecoming dance tonight, just as friends. (Of course, everybody will think we're dating. Both of our groups of friends think this. It's awkward, but still sort of funny.)

T, the guy, has not responded. I don't really remember him saying anything to me yesterday, so I'm not sure how to take that. I'm not even sure if he's read it or not, but he normally says "Hi" at the very least. When I mentioned this to my mom, she said that it's not the type of thing guys generally talk about, and girls are more open with gay guys. While that may be a stereotype, at my school, it's that way or the highway. I'll probably see T tomorrow at church, and might ask if he's had a chance to read it then.

I almost gave the letter to another friend (C) during one of our classes yesterday, but he was finishing a test, and I didn't want to wait to give it to him. I saw him at the football game that night with a girl who I presume was C's date.

Then there's the guy (S) who probably knows already. He's dropped a few hints, and seems to keep trying to weasel an answer out of me. When he needed help writing a paper about gay marriage, he asked me for advice. Either S somehow knows what I wrote about for my paper, or he just took a chance that I would know what happened when.

S and C are probably the next two on the list, and then I have one more friend that I want to come out to before I really go to town with coming out.

Anyways, just a little update. Thanks for your kind words!

13th Oct 2011, 03:02 PM	#1
reallyrandomguy Member Regular Member Gender: Gender: Meh. Sex: Male. Orientation: I like boys. Out Status: The 'rents, friends, and anyone who asks. Location: San Francisco Bay Area Age: 18 Posts: 30 Join Date: Oct 2010	Coming Out... And getting into college. I'm currently in the thick of writing college application essays, and one of the essays that I had to write had a choice of three questions. I chose the one that asked something along the lines of "Why is the journey to be oneself unique?" and wrote about growing up Christian and discovering my sexuality. Since I'm currently in the closet to everyone except my parents (For now...),and I had talked with my mom about wanting to come out, I figured this might be a good way to do it. So, I printed off a few copies and planned to deliver them to my friends, with the intention of asking them to proofread it. I ended up giving only two friends a copy of the essay. One of them was the girl who had asked me to my Junior Prom and had developed a friendship with over the course of the year. The other was a guy friend who had helped me shoot my application video and is a member of my church. I'm pretty sure they'll both be supportive, as the girl helped found the GSA this year, and the guy is pretty liberal and okay with the LGBT(...) community. The one thing that worries me is that the girl has a crush on me, but I'm hopeless when it comes to guessing who's interested in who, and my "gaydar", "bidar", and "straightdar" are all in dire need of repairs. Here's how it went down: I essentially folded up the paper, asked them to read it when they got a chance, and let me know what they think of it. Then, I disappeared into the crowd of people participating in homecoming week activities. I have yet to hear from either of them, but when I checked my calendar, I noticed that today was the one-year anniversary of me being out to my parents. That just made the experience that much better.

13th Oct 2011, 08:39 PM	#2
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Coming Out... And getting into college. Congrats!! I hope that it goes well for you!! I think that it was a good idea to write your college essay about that. The internal battle between religion and you sexuality is a major part of you being unique. __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

13th Oct 2011, 11:26 PM	#3
TheEdend Hope will never be silent EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Extended family still doesn't know Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,831 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Coming Out... And getting into college. Love the idea of coming out like that. The one thing to keep in mind is that sometimes people put off proofreading papers for friends, so keep that in mind if they take too long to say anything. Hope you get good responses from them __________________ “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” -Gandhi

15th Oct 2011, 02:36 PM	#4
HantsBen Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few close friends Location: Hampshire (UK) Age: 19 Posts: 113 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: Coming Out... And getting into college. Sounds a great way of coming out, hope your responses are good and keep us informed

15th Oct 2011, 03:28 PM	#5
reallyrandomguy Member Regular Member Gender: Gender: Meh. Sex: Male. Orientation: I like boys. Out Status: The 'rents, friends, and anyone who asks. Location: San Francisco Bay Area Age: 18 Posts: 30 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: Coming Out... And getting into college. Thanks for the good wishes! Just an update: I've heard back from H, the girl, and she immediately gave me a hug. At lunch that day, we just talked about regular stuff. She mentioned, and I quote: "Guy on guy does for me what girl on girl does for guys." At that point, I knew she was fine with it. We talked a bit about it at the football game last night, and it was quite fun. We might meet up at the homecoming dance tonight, just as friends. (Of course, everybody will think we're dating. Both of our groups of friends think this. It's awkward, but still sort of funny.) T, the guy, has not responded. I don't really remember him saying anything to me yesterday, so I'm not sure how to take that. I'm not even sure if he's read it or not, but he normally says "Hi" at the very least. When I mentioned this to my mom, she said that it's not the type of thing guys generally talk about, and girls are more open with gay guys. While that may be a stereotype, at my school, it's that way or the highway. I'll probably see T tomorrow at church, and might ask if he's had a chance to read it then. I almost gave the letter to another friend (C) during one of our classes yesterday, but he was finishing a test, and I didn't want to wait to give it to him. I saw him at the football game that night with a girl who I presume was C's date. Then there's the guy (S) who probably knows already. He's dropped a few hints, and seems to keep trying to weasel an answer out of me. When he needed help writing a paper about gay marriage, he asked me for advice. Either S somehow knows what I wrote about for my paper, or he just took a chance that I would know what happened when. S and C are probably the next two on the list, and then I have one more friend that I want to come out to before I really go to town with coming out. Anyways, just a little update. Thanks for your kind words!