Well, I was sending this friend of mine an email, which was actually very long and one of those random ones, a kind of stream-of-consciousness one where it jumps about going on about random stuff, and there was one sentence in there where I said something along the lines of 'I think I'm partly gay maybe, just trying to sort it out, but there you go', which I put in after I'd asked about this other guy, who she's been chasing but hasn't had a girlfriend and doesn't seem to be interested, whether he could possibly be gay. (I know that the fact that he hasn't had a girlfriend doesn't make him gay, but I suppose I wanted an "entrance" to the subject, cos her previous email had been about this guy). Anyhow, I know she's supportive of gay rights etc so I'm not expecting prejudice (which is brilliant), but I'm worried about the surprise or whether it'll change our friendship. But it was one sentence in a very long random email so I wonder if she'll even pick up on it?? But anyway, I suppose this would make 2 friends!! Although she probably won't read the email until the morning...
good luck! i hope everything goes well, it sounds like you dont have too much to worry about if she seems supportive of gay rights. I wouldnt worry too much about it changing your friendship, if you are close to this person it will really help to strengthen your relationship--at least that is what I have found in coming out to my closest friends
Ok, a little worried now, although could be anything...I actually sent it in a message/email on FB, know she's been on there, but haven't got a reply yet...either she hasn't noticed it, she doesn't know how to respond, or actually, perhaps she's really busy. It's kinda disconcerting not having got a response...as I said, she's pro gay rights etc, but maybe she just didn't pick up on it?? But you'd think. Dunno. Will let you know....
Ok - so this friend like emailed me back, but like, didn't mention it at all. But she definately had seen it because she had a whole paragraph on how this other guy isn't gay (which I'd asked in the sentence before), and then went on about her really good gay friend, how he likes to go to gay clubs which are really cool - and then she went onto the next paragraph without mentioning that I'd kinda just come out to her! I think, hopefully, not mentioning it was her way of saying it's not important, but like, 'I've got gay friends so it's ok'? Or does it mean she's uncomfortable talking about it? But I think that as the email was fairly normal, everything's ok - but does that mean it's just not going to be mentioned, no support or anything, just kinda left there not actually spoken about? I kind of feel weird - like I've come out to her but not, if you know what I mean. But nevermind. Could be worse I suppose - at least things seem normal between us! I just don't want it to be like the elephant standing in the room...
I would try asking her about it more directly now. If it's going to be a source of discomfort between you I think you should find that out right away. But, since she says she gay friends, I don't think it would drive her away. I sincerely hope that she will become a source of suport for you, but if she doesn't, you should still take pride in doing what you did. But in order for this not to make you feel like "the elephant standing in the room" I think you need to discuss it. At the very least clear the air so that you are certain the she is comfortable with it. Some people will never be supportive, it's just the way they are, but if she accepts you that is still something.
