Being Ignored For Being Gay - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Robert · 25th Oct 2011, 03:55 AM

I came out, by text message, to my Nazi sympathizing friend a few months ago and I also came out to my dad.

Both of them ignored me.

I sent a message to my friend asking him whether he still wanted to be friends and he said "Of course! You being gay doesnt mean we cant be friends!". But it has become evident that he didnt really mean it. We used to see eachother AT LEAST once a week. He hasnt even attempted to contact me in any way since I told him I was gay.

I saw my dad a few weeks ago and he acted like nothing had happened. I didnt bother bringing it up. I regret telling him now. He doesnt need to know. I hardly ever see him and he sort of lives in a different country.

This whole thing is really bugging me. I guess I just need to know -Why do people do this shit?

fiddledeedee · 25th Oct 2011, 05:19 AM

Maybe your dad thinks that if he ingores it, it won't have happened/will go away. Maybe he is in denial about it and isn't yet ready to talk. Maybe he is totally accepting and doesn't see it as a big deal, as something that needs discussing. But he should still say something. Since you can't take back the fact that you have told him, maybe it would be good to call him so you can have even an idea about what he thinks. If he is supportive, great! If not, it is a chance for you both to talk about your sexuality and problems he might have with it, and start to move along.

As for your friend, is there anything else that could mean he has not contacted you? Being away/unavailable, lost phone, etc.. Can you arrange a meeting with him, as a chance to catch up and be sure of what he thinks?

Well done on telling them both!

Bi As A Kite · 25th Oct 2011, 07:46 AM

Your 'friend' doesn't sound very friend-like to me. I'd seriously consider cutting him out. But huge props to you for telling people, especially your dad

Hidinginalabama · 25th Oct 2011, 09:39 AM

Congrates on telling some one sorry it didnt go as well as you wanted. For your friend he doesnt sound all that great but I could be wrong he could have something going on the you dont know about right now. As for your dad if you want to talk to him give him a call or something its up to you. In time when he comes to under stand that you are who you are things will get better. It may just time more time than you are wanting it to. Parents are some of the people that take it the hardest just because you are their kid. They want the best for you and will always want the best for you. I hope things work out like you want and get better. Best of luck

25th Oct 2011, 03:55 AM	#1
Robert EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male ♂ Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: World Posts: 971 Join Date: Jun 2011	Being Ignored For Being Gay I came out, by text message, to my Nazi sympathizing friend a few months ago and I also came out to my dad. Both of them ignored me. I sent a message to my friend asking him whether he still wanted to be friends and he said "Of course! You being gay doesnt mean we cant be friends!". But it has become evident that he didnt really mean it. We used to see eachother AT LEAST once a week. He hasnt even attempted to contact me in any way since I told him I was gay. I saw my dad a few weeks ago and he acted like nothing had happened. I didnt bother bringing it up. I regret telling him now. He doesnt need to know. I hardly ever see him and he sort of lives in a different country. This whole thing is really bugging me. I guess I just need to know -Why do people do this shit? __________________ "I am like a mirror that dares not be what nature made it, but feels obligated, always, to reflect what surrounds it." - Frederick II of Prussia. "England is a Prison" - Gerrard Winstanley

25th Oct 2011, 05:19 AM	#2
fiddledeedee 22/12-31/12+X! Full Member Gender: Complicated female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Most, sans Dad Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 1,128 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Being Ignored For Being Gay Maybe your dad thinks that if he ingores it, it won't have happened/will go away. Maybe he is in denial about it and isn't yet ready to talk. Maybe he is totally accepting and doesn't see it as a big deal, as something that needs discussing. But he should still say something. Since you can't take back the fact that you have told him, maybe it would be good to call him so you can have even an idea about what he thinks. If he is supportive, great! If not, it is a chance for you both to talk about your sexuality and problems he might have with it, and start to move along. As for your friend, is there anything else that could mean he has not contacted you? Being away/unavailable, lost phone, etc.. Can you arrange a meeting with him, as a chance to catch up and be sure of what he thinks? Well done on telling them both! __________________ A problem should be measured not by the cause of the problem but by the consequences it has on a person. ~ Anfauglith

25th Oct 2011, 07:46 AM	#3
Bi As A Kite EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: The pendulum swings wildly Out Status: 1 friend + mom Age: 20 Posts: 299 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Being Ignored For Being Gay Your 'friend' doesn't sound very friend-like to me. I'd seriously consider cutting him out. But huge props to you for telling people, especially your dad __________________ "You wanna get what you want, you gotta come out fighting...."

25th Oct 2011, 09:39 AM	#4
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Being Ignored For Being Gay Congrates on telling some one sorry it didnt go as well as you wanted. For your friend he doesnt sound all that great but I could be wrong he could have something going on the you dont know about right now. As for your dad if you want to talk to him give him a call or something its up to you. In time when he comes to under stand that you are who you are things will get better. It may just time more time than you are wanting it to. Parents are some of the people that take it the hardest just because you are their kid. They want the best for you and will always want the best for you. I hope things work out like you want and get better. Best of luck