I told HER... finally... :(

I feel like it's a little hard to take an I love you seriously when it's just dropped randomly like that. Maybe try talking to her sometime when she isn't talking about her bf/ex and just let her know you were really serious when you said that you loved her. Maybe try explaining to her that you love having her as a friend and that you will respect her wishes if that is what she wants to keep things as but that you would love to try and see what happens as more if she was up for it? Or if that doesn't exactly express your feelings, feel free to alter that. That's just the vibe I'm getting from this convo about how you feel...

 

She just went through a thing with her boyfriend, so perhaps right now isn't the best time to offer dating her. I recommend you wait a little until she resolves the whole thing with the guy. Be supportive of her and help her with what she is going through. She might come around once she isn't so mad at this guy, and can focus on her future relationships (maybe you ).

Don't be emo. Just give it some time. She might also be surprised that you have such feelings for her and needs to think it through. If it still seems like she didn't take it seriously after her problem with that guy is over, tell her again and make sure she knows you are serious.

 

Is She Bi?

 

I wouldn't freak out just yet & get discouraged. She didn't say no outright first off, so take a bit of comfort in that. She is going thru this huge thing with her ex now, so going off the conversation you two had, it sounds like that's the thing primarily on her mind, which is probably why she didnt really respond to your 'I love you' the way you were hoping. Kind of dropping the words 'I love you' in there while she was going on & on, & doing it sort of casually, might have been taken less than seriously then you woud have liked. My advice, wait until this whole thing with her ex has blown over a bit & then actually have a serious conversationn to her about how you feel. You should also be cautious - while dating your best friend might be awesome since you both know each other, you also have to be careful of the other side of things, namely, if things don't work out. Im not trying to be negative or pessiistic, but you should consider this, especially if you want her in your life. If things don't work out, god forbid, then not only do you lose your gf, you also risk losing your best friend too, so just tread lightly & be aware of everything that a relationship with her could possibly involve. Other than that, I really do hope things work out! (*hug*)

 

It's really, really hard to decide if you're going to risk your friendship. When my best friend came out and told me she was in love with me, I acknowledged what she said but ignored it for a little bit to have time to think everything through. It was an awkward, but actually really easy transition into being in a relationship. I'm so happy she told me! Give it some time, she could come around.

 

In the manner that she responded to your confession, which is you loving her, it seems that she clearly understands what you implied. Forgive me, I know this will sound harsh, but based on what she said, it seems that she's rejecting you, and later on when you mention that you wanna try forming a relationship with her, she ignored you, as if implying that she wants to avoid having that discussion with you, atleast for now. It makes this even more obvious when you then mention, that you came out to your other friends and that she's free to talk about it with them too, and she says nothing in respect to that. It's clear that she accepts you for who you are, but as far as forming a relationship with you, it will definitely not happen sometime soon as she's greatly upset by the situation with her ex and doesn't seem up for it. I wouldnt say for you to give up, because i absolutely know nothing about her or the situation between you two (i'm just going by what you have posted here), but i would say that you shouldn't remain so attached to your feelings towards her, so that you can be emotionally available if an oppurtunity with somebody else, pops up. Congrats that you were able to come out to her and have he courage to tell her how you felt, even if it was a bit subtle. It's a great accomplishment and you should acknowledge that. Now you know that you have the confidence and the courage and that being afraid was completely unnecessary. (*hug*)

 

I think it might be good to wait a while and talk to her in person if that's possible. Or on the phone. Texting or instant messaging is hard to show real emotion with. That convo seemed like it would have been better had in a different context like hanging out or something.I know you live 6 hours away so maybe the phone is a better option.

You could wait a while until she is more over her boyfriend and then talk about your feelings. It sounds like she has a lot going on right now so it might be best to just be there as her friend for the time being. And when you talk to her again about your feelings, make sure to tell her it's okay if you just remain friends because you care about your friendship. It'll be okay however things work out, just give it time.

 

I dont think you can tell much from the conversation to be honest, apart from the fact she already knew you were gay but hadnt come out yet. Just for now be happy that she accepts you for being gay and thats another person you have for support now. Once she is more settled with all the ex boyfriend stuff then you could perhaps approach the subject again, I think its possible she is interested so just give it some time.

 

Momma - I'm sorry that things didn't go quite as you hoped. It sounds like she was trying to avoid the subject a bit, which could either mean she isn't interested or maybe just isn't ready. I agree with your plan to wait to mention it until she moves back. She will have had time to think about it.

Another thought - I think it means a lot that she knew you were gay before you did. That might be a positive sign as well.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

I have had several desires over my friends and was unaware of their sexuality. I am still unsure about a couple but I would never ask them out due to the fact I fear more about ruining a good friendship. For some reason, a friendship is never the same after sexual contact. However, it may be for the better, you can never know but I always try and avoid groupcest.

Of course, give you friend time, she may be more receptive once she has resolved her more pressing issues first.

Best of luck (*hug*) You have more courage than me by asking out your friend.