5 months out + potential date!

[PerfectInsanity]

I just realized today that it has been exactly 5 months since I first came out and there's been some major developments lately, so I figured I'd post an update. I never thought it would happen so quickly, but I asked a guy out over the phone! The plan is to go out this Thursday!. I just met this guy this past Friday at a party a couple of friends were throwing at their house. A bunch of people showed up for the party, including some of their mutual gay and lesbian friends (at one point in the night, gays outnumbered straight people with 6 of us gay guys!). I began talking with this guy a little while we were around the bonfire in the backyard and it turns out he is also a grad student in the same department I am. At the end of the night (way past midnight) it was just my two friends that live at the house, myself, and this guy. I thought the fact that he was still hanging around was interesting in and of itself, but we were all getting tired and cold (it was literally freezing outside), so everyone departed. After he left I was talking with my two friends and it turns out this guy has only been out of the closet for 2-3 months now and is basically in the same boat I am (history of being socially-awkward, no dating experience).

Well, the next night (Saturday) I met up with the same group of folks to go bar-hopping. Most of us wore costumes to the bars, including my outlandish drag costume, complete with stuffed bra and lots of garish make-up. By far the most ridiculous thing I've ever done! Anyways, while we were hanging out dancing and drinking, this guy seemed to be really enjoying himself. He, along with a couple of the women in the group, periodically played around with my fake boobs throughout the night. Along with this he also got a bit more "hands-y" later on too and getting physically close to me. At one point he pulled me over to gawk at a mostly naked bartender we saw through one of the windows as we were leaving the bar. This behavior, on top of lots of eye contact and flirty conversation, definitely gave me the impression that he was interested in me. However, at the end of the night I had a headache from the alcohol and didn't really feel like pursuing anything sexual/romantic that night, so I didn't make a move when people were gearing up to go home after the bars closed. On top of that, I thought it might be weird trying to hit on him while I was still dressed in unattractive drag!

The next day, kicking myself for not thinking to ask for his number, I called up my one friend and got his number from her. I spent the rest of the afternoon going bat-shit crazy thinking about how I would even ask this guy out. I had dated a few girls back in high school, but it was always them who asked me out...I had no real experience in initiating a date, let alone with a guy. After talking with a couple of friends and my mom for moral support and to test out what I would say, I paced in my office for another 45 minutes before making the call. The conversation lasted only 1-1.5 minutes, but I basically just told him that I had fun hanging out the previous two nights and wondered if we could hang out sometime this week to get to know each other better. Obviously he wasn't expecting the call (since I hadn't gotten his number from him directly) and seemed busy/flustered, so it took him a moment to collect his thoughts and pick a day/time in the week that would work for him. But he did agree to it!!!

I think I'll take him out for dinner for this first time. Here goes my first gay date....

[b222g]

That's awesome man! Way to go! I'm a bit jealous to be honest haha. Is he cute?
I'm only half out (family and close friends) and have been for nearly 2 months now, but I'm already really getting the urge to start dating guys...I've waited long enough right!?!?! I'm 23! Should be a great date. Make sure you let us know how it goes. Exciting stuff!

[TraceElement]

Congrats! Hope it goes well!

[PerfectInsanity]

Well, we had fairly good conversations at dinner, but he said he wasn't interested in dating at the moment. However, he said he still wants to hang out sometime as friends. He's only been out a little while though and is really busy with work/school, so I can't blame him for feeling that way. Oh well! I can't say I necessarily felt ready or felt a spark either, so I can't really say I was too disappointed. I am glad I had this experience though since I now know I can at least confidently ask someone out and not be a nervous/awkward mess around a potentially compatible guy.

Well, the world population just hit 7 billion people so I guess there are a lot of fish in the sea left to meet....

[mnguy]

That is really great though, you took the risk, he accepted and you had a good time. Maybe you'll be friends or maybe it'll become something more the more you get to know eachother. Who knows, but what's important, like you said, you gained confidence in this experience