Amongst the Confusion

[ukeye]

Is a big part of coming out chopping out the parts of your life you felt insufficient for.. Like for me it seems I was never sufficient to lead a straight lifestyle, it was always guys who interested me and I understood this from a younger age.

But all those things I would think of before I came out. The wife/kids/perfect dream by societies standards now seems like its distorted.. I realise that happiness can be found through love whether its with another man or not. Its ceased to be a gay issue for me.. now its an issue of living my life with an attraction to men. Kind of feels like I've adapted a new organ and feel more positive about each waking moment. This is even so, considering I'm single and not heavily involved in the GLBT scene right now.

I went through a big phase of becoming more socially aware as part of coming out - exploring different religions, philosophies, cultures.. reading a lot, meeting a lot of different people.. but now I realise I can attribute all this knowledge i've gained to coming out. I'm much more interested in traveling and people in general since accepting that I have my flaws also and my sexuality is only a small part of me. I feel much more at peace with who I am. Beforehand it seemed like there were so many barriers up in this aim to be something I'm not.

This felt really good to write