In English class we were asked to write a vignette about a time that deeply affected us. A vignette is a short (700 words or less) detailed story about a moment in time. Sometimes called a literary snapshot in time. I'm just going to attach the word document because text edits (such as bold and italics) make it easier to understand and I don't want to go through the whole thing and re-format them. Let me know if you can't view. Constructive criticism on the writing itself wouldn't be bad either as I intend to submit this to a contest for publication. Sidenote: This "moment" took place over a year ago, I am now out to everyone including my family... they didn't end up taking it well.
I really liked the last paragraph, especially the ending. Normally, I would leave it at that, but since you asked for some constructive editing, here are some ideas I have: 1) I would nix, "There is no undo for life." In the midst of a powerful statement, I am not sure that a computer metaphor fits in here. 2) I really liked the phrase, "It’s been two years too long," and I think you should should expand on the idea here. 3) "There's still a weight on my chest, but it will be gone soon, or at least lessened." I would try to make this a little less explicit. 4) I think it might be interesting to tell a little bit about what you are thinking when Katy asks you to speak up. It acts as a sort of absurd comic relief at the climax of this story. Good Luck in the competition!
Thanks for sharing Sorry that your family didn't react well, but I'm glad you got to the point of telling everyone and having their complete support.
That's great! I liked it! I've written about gay issues for English assignments before - It's a little awkward for me, but it's totally worth it because teachers love all the drama involved. I always get an A. What grade did you get on yours?
I got an A... the English teacher for this particular class is the advisor for our school's GSA... so yeah.
Usually, for publication, you would need to do without the bold. Emphasis within italics is usually achieved by reverting to roman (i.e. regular text). "Out," at the end would probably be set in italics, rather than bold.
