Coming out letter to mom: please critique

[theWorldisYours]

This is the letter I intend to give to my mom after I tell her I'm gay. She's kind of religious, and has raised my sister and I to respect religion as well. i really don't think she's going to thump the bible when I tell her, but I'm just trying to cover all the bases. The letter is a little dramatic, but it's all based on what I went through. Let me know what you think.


Dear Mom,

I want to preface this letter by letting you know how much I love you. I can never thank you enough for the love that you have given me, for the warmth you have put in my heart, and the support you have given me all of these years. You are a wonderful Mother. You have raised me to be a kind gentleman, and to always respect others before myself. I would never be where I am today without you.
The reason I am writing this letter, is because I am ready to tell you something that I have been hiding for years. I have been battling with this for a very long time, questioning weather or not it is real, and praying for it not to be. For years, I have been very depressed about it, and insisted on suppressing it for the rest of my life. As my life went on I realized that I could never be happy denying a part of me that I cannot change.
There is no easy way for me to say this, I’m gay. I’ve heard people say, that sometimes hearing news like this is like having a family member die. This is the feeling that I had when I was trying to accept myself. I did not want to bury the hopes and dreams I had for the future. I always wanted to marry a pretty girl, start a family, and live long happy lives together. The hardest part for me, was accepting that these things couldn’t be a reality for me, at least not in the sense that everyone expected.
I hope that you can understand that this isn’t a phase, and that this isn’t something that can change. I am coming to you now after years of questioning. I can say that I am gay now, but for years I couldn’t even admit this conclusion to myself. I always thought that the feelings would eventually go away. I thought that after I met the right girl I could be normal. I begged God to take away this curse, and asked him why he was doing this to me. The fact is that this is who I am. Denying this for so long led me to be very depressed. But I eventually realized that this is just the way I was born. There is nothing I can do about it, and accepting it has made me more comfortable with myself.
Lastly, I want you to understand that I am no different, now that you know this about me. I am the same son you have loved and raised, you just know a little more about me.
Mom, if I haven’t made it clear, I love you with all of my heart. I love all that you have done for me, and you couldn’t have done a better job at raising Katherine and I. I have been so nervous to tell you this, and that is because you are the person who matters most in my life. I am scared to disappoint you, but this is just who I am. It has taken a long time for me to accept myself, and I am willing to give you as much time as you need to be comfortable with it. When you are ready, I have sent some resources to your e-mail.

Love,
Your son,
Chris

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

[Mal]

From what you write she it sounds like she was a good person who raised another great person. You shouldn't have any problems, she loves you and will probably accept you, even if it's not right away. I wish you luck, let us know how it goes.

[Robert]

Brought a tear to my eye.

Very moving.

What resources are you linking her to?

[alex2020]

Very well-written.

Good luck, and keep us posted on how it goes.

[ShayneTaylor]

I am also writing a letter, but to my family and my friends. The transition is going to be hard for me, but its going to hit them harder. Ive been having issues really jut getting it on paper. Any advice from you?

[Aeon Magus]

First of all, the letter was written beautifully. You emphasized the areas that you needed to address - Your love for her. How much you appreciate what she's done for you all your life. What you've been going through to finally tell her that you are gay. That you are still You, her son. And that you are giving her the time she needs to come to terms with it. Very well done.

Secondly, from what I read in your initial post (and Mal has said this already), you describe your mother as a very loving woman, so I am sure that she'll come around to accepting who you are in due time. Be positive, and stay strong.

And lastly... your friends and the rest of your family. Writing a letter individually to each of those you are coming out to would be best, because writing generically makes the letter just sound off and lack the emotions that need to be put into it for each of them. You know your family and friends best, write what they mean to you, what you hope for them and for you when you come out to them.

Good luck, Shayne.
And keep us posted on how it's going.

[ShayneTaylor]

Thanks. I will do that.
I will keep everyone posted : )

[EM68]

Great letter. Good luck in coming out to your mom! You may want to print out 'Our Daughters, Our Sons'. Its from PFLAG. Its a great resource for parents to read when they find out ther child is gay.

[Daisy1]

Really nice letter! Best of luck.