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Unexpected outing. (my story of a long successful day)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by paper person, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. paper person

    Regular Member

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    Today had been a long day and im not sure how i feel about it. Its not a diaster but i fee linda sick and excited and stressed all at once so Im just gonna start from square one.

    Yesterday, my brother was really mean to me and i just wanst feeling to ok about it ontop of a lot of othe stressfulthings going on like home, and college, and school, so i wanted to make an apoint ment with MrsC, the social worker(whos will form now on just be known as C). So i left economics just to make an appointment, and she said her apointment had cancled and that i should just come in now. So i was all "sure why not"

    [paper person] 5:18 pm:
    reasons "you're questioning your sexuality, Youre pregnant" "Im prettty sure im not pregnan LOL" "you got some one pregnant" "noooooooooooo" she gives
    me this look "......you questioning your sexual orientation arnet you?" "...............0_0....................................................................yesssssss" *souble face
    palm*
    "thats what i thought :slight_smile:"
    "oh god oh god its just.......oh god and i know and its difficult, and bluh bluh i was jut babling at this point"
    ****
    and she all reasuring and telling me its ok and how her sister is happily gay married and her staright son is and ally, and im telling her im ok with it and i wasnt and about the summer and how it was dark and about EC a little and how im more or less ok with it and its not something i want to change and im shaking and laughing and sweating and i feel like im gonne be sick, (still do) and she keeps telling me its ok and im like i know.
    ********
    and she asks if any one knows, and im like no, and she ask if my parents would be ok with it and im like idk probs, and mom#2 might
    already know, (infact her and my brother just made a closet joke and my expence not 5 min ago) and how i figrued out over the summer on my trip and where it all began and how flirty my freinds are and how im going to pride works and just ALOT.
    and im shaking harder and laughing and hiding my face and stressed and i feel like im breaking
    ******
    i could have gone on and then we realize i have to go to class but i cnat stop shaking so ive been like streessed and jittery almost all
    day until i got home and i like passed out and now im back to the shakes again.
    ****
    and now i have this stress heart ball and its being destoryed and i think i left all my classes at least once to either go outside or kick bathroom walls and almost break down.

    But im alive and im still feel like im tearing and its exciting and scary and just a lot of feelings and i feel as if my whole self is just tearing apaprt, but kinda like shedding a new skin sorta and im just confued but most of all stressed.


    And Im going to see her for 15 min tomorrow and for a full session friday after pride works on thursday and Im destoying this stress heart


    And Yeah...... its been a long LONG day.
     
  2. Bolin

    Full Member

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    I'm so proud of you. :grin: If it were me, I'd probably have lied about it, so kudos to you! As for the mixture of emotions, I think it's quite normal. Something big like this is enough to make anyone feel the same way. Make sure you update us on what happens after Friday! :grin:
     
  3. factwithinfiction

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    Its really nice that you were able to be open about it with someone. That's always the first step to fully coming out. You have no reason to be stressed though. These things happen when you're ready rather than being so random and forced. It was about 3 or 4 years that I first came out to my mom and sister to the point where I came out to my stepdad and brother so I can understand in a sense of what you're going through. But it'll all be okay =)
     
  4. Artemicion

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    (&&&) First, congratulations. Second, you will be just fine. I am sure you are going through mixed feelings, and that's probably why you're getting the jitters. Other than that, (*hug*), do tell us what happens after your meeting?
     
  5. SecretColor

    Full Member

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    I'm so happy AND proud of you!! It's great that your first person is so supportive. :grin:

    And of course, we (and me) are always here whenever you need to talk to anyone, but still... (*hug*)(*hug*)(!)(!)
     
  6. Fugs

    Full Member

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    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    (*hug*) Good job (*hug*)

    Rawr <3
     
  7. GoinStag

    In Loving Memory

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    Yeah, Josh!! That's awesome!! I know the feeling haha I'm so proud of you, man! Huge step. This really put a smile on my face....Seriously...the smile is on my face as I'm typing this xD I'm so proud of you!