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Old 21st Nov 2011, 06:19 PM   #1
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Default Should I?

So, today I told my mom about my horrible past with my (soon-to-be-ex-)husband. She asked a few questions but ultimately said she wanted to talk to me about it tomorrow. Should I go ahead and use this as an opportunity to come out to her? Ideas? Kinda worried about it being this close to the holidays tho.
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Old 21st Nov 2011, 06:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: Should I?

How do you think she'll react?
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Old 21st Nov 2011, 06:42 PM   #3
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Default Re: Should I?

Well, she's always been the "Let people be happy" kind of person but she doesn't think gay marriage should be called marriage because it's a man and woman christian ceremony. LGBT couples.... I don't know how she'll react.
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Old 21st Nov 2011, 08:10 PM   #4
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Default Re: Should I?

if you feel like its a good oppurtunity- id say go for it! make sure you have some prepared responses to questions you think shell have. maybe print out some PFLAG stuff?
best of luck!!!!
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Old 21st Nov 2011, 08:17 PM   #5
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Default Re: Should I?

My first question is how did she take the split of you & your ex when it happened & my second question is how was her mood or what was her reaction when you told her about how bad the relationship was? My best suggestion is, whether she handled both of these things well or not, to get thru & past this thing first. One thing Ive tried to do whenever Ive come out is try not to overload the person Im telling with too much for them to think about or be able to handle. Emotionally piling things on can potentially lead to a less than pleasant coming out experience if the person you're telling is going to possible be supportive, & it can be a mountain landing on someone when you're wither unsure about their reaction or know it wont be a good reaction. A lot of people are capable of adapting, they just have to process the information over a bit of time, so telling them too much all at once can sometimes push a normally reasonable person over the edge. Just talk to your mom about your ex & get thru that, then worry about coming out to her later. I know that it feels like there may not be another opportunity to come out to her, but trust me, there will be, there's always another time to tell her if you're not sure you're ready. Coming out can be a relief, but sometimes you have to pick your moment for it too... Hope it all goes well, whatever you decide!
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Old 22nd Nov 2011, 05:36 PM   #6
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Default Re: Should I?

So, I didn't say anything...

I'm going to wait until the divorce is final, the holidays are over, and things have settled some. I don't want to over load her...

When I do decide to come out, I'll probably write a letter...
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Old 22nd Nov 2011, 06:08 PM   #7
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Default Re: Should I?

Yeah, it's no big rush. Let your mom deal with what she already knows for right now. Plus, this will give you more time to figure out how exactly you want to tell her, when, & all that.

And writing a letter isn't a bad idea. I had to do that with one of my friends in school because I was just too scared to say it out loud. I remember, too. She stared at the paper for a minute and then just looked at me with total shock on her face...It was funny.
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