Someone coming out to you

[Nodnarb]

Earlier this week somebody I know told me he was gay. In the past, anyone that I've known who was gay told me (or I found out through somebody else) before I knew them well. But I've known this guy for several years, and we lived together for nine months. And for some reason...I had no idea what to say at first. It was really hard to wrap my head around the idea that he was gay.

I guess, by being on the other side of things, I gained some understanding of the people I've come out to in the past. But the strange part is, even though I was so surprised, I had always suspected that he was gay. Like I said, we shared a dorm room for a school year. You pick up on some things when you're around someone that often.

I'm not sure if my surprise is just a normal reaction, or if maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I hold something against him for not coming out to me when I came out to him. I don't think that's it, and I hope not. But I'm really happy for him. He's a good guy and was a good roommate.

So what are some of you guys' experiences with people you know well coming out to you?

[J Snow]

The closest I have come to this happening to me was a friend of mine told me they had "questioned their sexuality" before. They basically told me they went through a time where they really questioned it in the past and decided from it that they weren't gay. I know it was not by any means them coming out, but it was still very interesting to hear one of my straight guy friends tell me.

[midwestgirl89]

I can really relate to this. It's a weird situation. One of my best friends since 7th grade came out to me about a year ago. I was totally thrown off and surprised. So from the age of like 12 to 21... I had no idea. A girlfriend of mine said she suspected my bff was gay but I didn't believe her. I thought my bff was just not into marriage and commitment.

When my bff came out to me, I didn't know what to say either. I came out to her right after she did so she wouldn't feel so alone. She came out to me on instant messaging. Weird, but I told her she's my best friend no matter what and it doesn't change anything. Nothing changed and we accept each other. We haven't talked about it since though.

She already suspected I was gay. It was totally weird when she came out to me because we had been best friends for almost 10 years but had never talked about being gay. I always felt really alone as a teenager so it was a shame we never talked about it.

[Doctor Faustus]

A female friend of mine, R., came out to me after she discovered I was a member of the university's Pride society. xD We had a completely cool chat about it. I had no idea beforehand.

She then had a serious relationship with another girl I know, N., (both are English Lit. students) and they did the whole Facebook thing etc., but they broke up a few months ago. They're still really good friends. Apparently according to N., R. is still working it out kind of, which I could completely understand.

[Beertruck]

When I came out, at least two of my friends reciprocated by coming out to me: "You're gay? Oh, so am I!"

It was actually really comforting.

[NoName114]

I've had two friends come out to me as Bi

[Hidinginalabama]

Having some one come out to you even if you are gay is some thing that you just have to think about for a second or two. I had a friend come out to me and all I could think of was really? I was super happy for him but it just took me a second to see him with another guy. As soon as he showed me a picture of him and his boyfriend it felt like he was never straight. Dont know why but that one picture did it for me. Its like we have been out to each other for years now.

[Doctor Faustus]

Originally Posted by Hidinginalabama

Having some one come out to you even if you are gay is some thing that you just have to think about for a second or two. I had a friend come out to me and all I could think of was really? I was super happy for him but it just took me a second to see him with another guy. ... Its like we have been out to each other for years now.

That's exactly what happened when R. came out to me (see above post).

[RaRa]

I've only had one friend come out to me. He told me he was Bisexual. I'm like ok cool whatever...but he wanted that little point to be the focus of the conversation (we were studying for our class at a Starbucks). Yeah...I got bored fast.