I got the ball rolling! - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

55butnotalive · 28th Nov 2011, 03:14 PM

I haven't posted anything for awhile, so here's a quick recap. I'm 55 and have been married for 35 years with 3 grown children. We got married when I was 20 and she was 19 - neither of us had any experience with sex. I knew I had attractions for men, but (strangely) didn't think that meant I was gay because I wasn't "femmy".

A few weeks ago, I admitted to our marriage counselor that I was gay. At a subsequent joint session with my wife, I came out to her to. She knew there was a strong possiblity based on events over the past few years, but I still wouldn't admit it to myself until lately.

My wife has been very understanding and we are making plans to divorce. Over the next few months, I plan to start coming out to family and friends. I'm not looking forward to the process, but I'm thrilled that it's going to happen!

Thanks, everyone for being here for. The posts on this site help a lot!!

stilllovelyafte · 28th Nov 2011, 03:31 PM

Congrats! Not to beat a dead horse (I've recommended this in other posts), but I highly recommend you read Dr. Loren Olson's book - "Finally Out". He's a psychiatrist, Iowa guy, who did not realize he was gay/come out until he was 40. His book really opened my eyes to the diversity within the gay community and the diversity of experiences people have in coming to grips with their sexuality.

Hidinginalabama · 28th Nov 2011, 04:50 PM

Congrats on feeling ready to come out to your family and friends.

55butnotalive · 28th Nov 2011, 05:08 PM

Thanks for mentioning the book. I read it a few weeks ago and I agree, it's outstanding! I gave it to my wife to read too, although she hasn't been able to start it yet.

stilllovelyafte · 28th Nov 2011, 06:16 PM

And, of course, congrats! I find you to be very inspirational, especially given where I sit today. I can really learn from your courage in facing this head on. Best of luck in sorting everything out. I hope you keep us posted on your developments!

thecat06 · 28th Nov 2011, 07:30 PM

Congrats!! I'm glad to hear that your wife has been understanding of you!!

Sadepeura · 28th Nov 2011, 09:00 PM

Congratulations!

I am happy for you. And good luck with your new beginning!

28th Nov 2011, 03:14 PM	#1
55butnotalive Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to over 30 now!! Location: Iowa Age: 56 Posts: 125 Join Date: Oct 2011	I got the ball rolling! I haven't posted anything for awhile, so here's a quick recap. I'm 55 and have been married for 35 years with 3 grown children. We got married when I was 20 and she was 19 - neither of us had any experience with sex. I knew I had attractions for men, but (strangely) didn't think that meant I was gay because I wasn't "femmy". A few weeks ago, I admitted to our marriage counselor that I was gay. At a subsequent joint session with my wife, I came out to her to. She knew there was a strong possiblity based on events over the past few years, but I still wouldn't admit it to myself until lately. My wife has been very understanding and we are making plans to divorce. Over the next few months, I plan to start coming out to family and friends. I'm not looking forward to the process, but I'm thrilled that it's going to happen! Thanks, everyone for being here for. The posts on this site help a lot!!

28th Nov 2011, 03:31 PM	#2
stilllovelyafte Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Questioning Posts: 171 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: I got the ball rolling! Congrats! Not to beat a dead horse (I've recommended this in other posts), but I highly recommend you read Dr. Loren Olson's book - "Finally Out". He's a psychiatrist, Iowa guy, who did not realize he was gay/come out until he was 40. His book really opened my eyes to the diversity within the gay community and the diversity of experiences people have in coming to grips with their sexuality.

28th Nov 2011, 04:50 PM	#3
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: I got the ball rolling! Congrats on feeling ready to come out to your family and friends.

28th Nov 2011, 05:08 PM	#4
55butnotalive Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to over 30 now!! Location: Iowa Age: 56 Posts: 125 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: I got the ball rolling! Thanks for mentioning the book. I read it a few weeks ago and I agree, it's outstanding! I gave it to my wife to read too, although she hasn't been able to start it yet.

28th Nov 2011, 06:16 PM	#5
stilllovelyafte Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Questioning Posts: 171 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: I got the ball rolling! And, of course, congrats! I find you to be very inspirational, especially given where I sit today. I can really learn from your courage in facing this head on. Best of luck in sorting everything out. I hope you keep us posted on your developments!

28th Nov 2011, 07:30 PM	#6
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: I got the ball rolling! Congrats!! I'm glad to hear that your wife has been understanding of you!! __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

28th Nov 2011, 09:00 PM	#7
Sadepeura Bow ties are cool. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual lesbian in a heterosexual relationship Out Status: Most people Location: Scotland Age: 22 Posts: 343 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: I got the ball rolling! Congratulations! I am happy for you. And good luck with your new beginning! __________________ "What’s the worst that could happen?" "You could get torn to pieces by a monster you can’t see." - Amy Pond

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