Out and About

[TechBoss]

I can't wait to share this with more people, but here's a good place to start... I'm gay! I finally came out just this past week and it was wonderful! I visited my closest friends and spent hours with them, just talking and having fun. I shared my feelings with them and was embraced by both of them. I was just getting frustrated with lying to everyone about this. They were both rather shocked, as I don't come off as someone who is gay, but ever since I've known them, I've been hiding it (5 years). They said that they are happy that I've come to terms with it and are completely supportive of my decision. I couldn't have been happier.

The following day, my sister surprised me and visited. I still live with my parents, but since I work out of the house, I'm home almost all the time. I wasn't planning on sharing this news with more people at the moment, as I wanted to take this slowly, but the feeling of being trapped again came over me and I told her as well. She was also shocked, but she had guessed some time ago that I might be. She was also very supportive of my choice and wondered why I waited so long. A lot of it came down to the fact I still live with my parents. I now have the means to live on my own and I've been looking at places for myself too, so it's all a matter of timing and finding the right spot anyway.

The next big step is my parents, as they deserve to know. I'm still trying to find an appropriate moment to let them know, as I want them to feel comfortable asking my any questions they might have. I used this same approach with my friends and sister, and they appreciated being offered the time to ask questions and simply take it in. In a different thread, I had asked how others might suggest handling the parents, and I got some good responses. Initially, I had assumed that they would reject me, but I now know well enough that they'll still love me, simply because they're my parents, but it just might take more time for them to take what I say to heart. I don't want to assume how they will react and how they will handle the news. I've actually asked both my sister and my friends if they/she would be with me when I tell them. My parents have already dropped enough clues that they are extremely sensitive when it comes to the subject of homosexuality. I've had them walk out of rooms and even someone else's house because they wanted to talk about it from a political point of view. I've explained to my friends/sister that I wanted those who support me with me, just in case they don't want to hear what I need to say. I'm very close to both of my parents, but the news may be too much for them at once, so I'm trying to make sure they are comfortable as possible.

I'm glad I came out, as the feelings I've experienced are nothing but happiness so far. I want to say that I'm fortunate that I've got friends and family that support me. The talk with my parents will be the top of the journey up the hill for me I hope. As far as finding the moment to talk to them, I'm a bit torn between bringing it up now or waiting until after the holidays. The only reason is because the holidays are always a huge event for my family, as we usually have 30-40 people coming together to enjoy the holidays (lots of extended family). The same feeling of bursting out with the news is always on my mind, so that doesn't keep me calm, but I don't want to just blurt it out because that's all I'm thinking about. If anyone has a suggestion about this, anything would be appreciated.

Not to keep ranting on, but for those of you STILL reading this, I hope I did not bore you to death. I'm thankful that I've got my friends and sister so far who support me and hope there are many others out there that do as well. I hope that wherever you are in your journey, you are speaking from your heart. Being in a state of real happiness doesn't happen often, and when I had those in my life tell me that they would support me, it's a moment I'll cherish forever. I wish you the best!

[ArabMan]

I most definitely enjoyed reading your story and I wish you all the best as well...

[Doctor Faustus]

You didn't bore me to death. In fact that was a wonderful story.

Keep going from strength to strength

[Nat3]

Hello, Congratulation on coming out to your sis and your two best friends. It takes a lot of courage to come out to others and also accepting yourself.

I don't think you should think too much about how or what you will say to your parents; usually, it just comes out... you know? It is just the way you are... On the other hand you can write a speech, etc. Whatever feels most comfortable for you.
Just go with the situation. As for waiting, ask to your sister for her opinion, and also take into account your own. Ask yourself questions such as:
Why wait?
Are you worried that their reaction may not be the best?

[TechBoss]

I finally came out to my parents! I started with my mom and she reacted a little awkwardly. She just stood there and was silent for about 5 minutes, not really sure what to say. I wanted her to know that if she wanted to talk more about it, she could. She had suspected that I was gay, as she'd notice me checking out other guys when we were out. She said that she needed to give it time to sink in and maybe then she'll have more for me. She began tearing up, as she was also sad of my decision. She said that she was looking forward to having grandchildren. I assured her that even with this lifestyle, family life isn't out of the question. In fact, I was hoping that if I do begin a relationship, whoever I am with also wants children someday. I really hope she feels better, as I don't like making anyone cry.

As for my dad, he floored me when I told him. He just simply said, "Ok, that's nice." I was expecting him to be more vocal about it. After a while, he did approach me and wanted me to know that this decision isn't something he is going to change or wants to change, even though he was also hoping for grandchildren. He understood that this is something he needs to respect. I really appreciated what he had to say, as I never would have expected it from him. I told him that his words were one of the most considerate things I've been told and I thanked him for them.

All in all, I am surprised how both of my parents reacted. They both respect my decision to come out and are happy that I am making choices that will benefit my life. I am also happy that I told them. At this point as well, those most important to me are aware of my choice and are supportive of my decision. I couldn't ask for anything else. In time, I do want to let more of my extended family know, but there's always a right time for that.

[Doctor Faustus]

That's a pretty amazing reaction. And yeah kids aren't by any means out of the question. You're doing well, but keep things in your own time. Slow down if you want, haha!

Take care and catch up soon.

Faustus.

[TheEdend]

That is really great to hear! Congrats on going for it and I'm glad you have gotten such supportive responses so far!

[Aielar]

Congrats, glad it went well for you :3