Coming out to Mom Tommorow

So yeah. I made the decision today that if I didn't come out soon to my mother then I would explode (not literally lol). I'm hoping it goes smoothly, or if she doesn't take it well then hopefully she'll adjust within a few days. But yeah. I wrote a letter (see below) and will be giving it to her tomorrow along with the pflag for parents thing right as I go for a walk with the dog for an hour or so, and then hopefully coming back to a good reaction.

This is the letter that I am going to be giving her tomorrow.

So, er…this is it, in a sense. I’ve finally made my decision to step out onto a weaker branch, metaphorically speaking, and hope that I get a positive reaction from you. Internally, even approaching this subject with you is a terrifying prospect to me: we’ve never really discussed anything to do with being gay, so I have no idea to know how you will react to the news that I am, in all sense of the term, a black sheep of the family. You’ve never even mentioned the subject, as far as I can remember, so I’m honestly hoping I will be accepted by you after you find out the truth. The truth about me – that I am bisexual – is being more and more difficult to keep from you, and so finally it reached a point where I had to come out or I would explode.

I feel like I’ve been distancing myself from you lately as well as putting up a wall between us (at least in my mind), and part of the reason for that is because I am scared beyond all belief that you may react negatively, and I’ve been attempting to prepare myself to face rejection if it happens. There isn’t really any fool proof method I can do to ensure I am ready to not see you again, so I sincerely hope that you will accept me for who I am, even if it doesn’t happen immediately. For myself, I went through self-loathing and harboring desires to kill myself for ten months before reaching a stage of self-acceptance. I left talking to my family members about my sexual orientation to last because I truly did fear being cut off from my family. I’ve told many of my friends about the fact that I identify as one who swings both ways regarding sexual orientation, and even though some of them haven’t reacted in the way I hope the majority of people I have told gave me positive feedback.

Coming out of the closet takes a lot of courage and a lot of trust for those who I have come out to so far. I am still the same person you knew before I came out to you. My hope is that you’ll continue to love and support me no matter which sexuality I identify with. I am aware that the generation you grew up in is much different from mine, and that in the time you grew up it wasn’t exactly socially acceptable to be gay or anything of the sort. I’m hoping that if you heard about how wrong some people consider being gay is, that you will be able to overcome those words and still love me for me.

I’ve only known for approximately a year, which may not seem long enough to know for sure, but I can say with certainty my sexual orientation is not just a phase and it’s not something anyone can change, especially myself.When I first discovered this part of myself, my biggest issue with being a member of the lgbtq minority was what your reaction would be when I eventually shared this knowledge with you. The second reason I saved disclosing my sexual orientation to you is because I’ve heard from various sources that this piece of knowledge is one of the hardest things for a parent to become aware of and perhaps accept, even if the acceptance doesn’t happen right away.

Instead of feeling like you have lost something which you might feel, instead I ask that you to feel like you’ve gained something: my trust and complete honesty in you.
Because believe me, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to come out of the closet to anyone, and even though it does get gradually easier the more times I come out of the closet, it’s still a challenge every single time. I want to mention that me being gay isn’t your fault, and nothing you did caused it. You were a great parent, and I know that if you hadn’t raised me then I’d probably addicted to drugs, and definitely wouldn’t be where I am today. It took me a year to accept the fact that I was part of a sexual minority, so I will understand if you take a while to come to terms.

I will leave the next step to you. You can either choose to talk to me when I get back from walking the dog, and we’ll talk, or to ignore me. But it won’t change me. It is time that I started living my own life, rather than a pretend one. This may be hard on you, but think of it this way: it has been hard on me for the last year. I am not being selfish - instead, I am offering you the chance to get to know me better.

 

Thank you :3 EC will be one of the first to know

 

Klecko Klecko for the support everyone :3

 

So, I went to her house today and left my letter along with some information from PFLAG...she's tried to call me several times, but I couldn't make myself answer the phone. So yeah. She does know where to find me though, if she wants to talk to me that badly...I'm just too nervous to answer the phone when she calls me :s

 

Thanks Chip Yeah, I'm going to go talk to her as soon as possible, I'm just waiting for my friend - who is also gay - to go with me to her house for moral support. I'm starting to get the idea that since she keeps trying to reach me on the phone, she wants to continue speaking with me. So yeah. Thanks everyone, things seem to be working out in a positive way

 

So, just had a discussion about the letter I gave to her on Tuesday, and it's fair to say that the conversation went alright. She pretty much said she didn't feel there was anything wrong with being gay, but she didn't think I knew for sure, putting it down to a phase of being a 'teenager'. At least she didn't cut me off completely, which was my main concern. So yeah, it went alright. Thanks EC