First Friend to Know.

For those of you that don't know, I have really touchy friends. The Invade my space master being one of my best Bros for life, Buddy. For the past couple weeks he has been getting way closer to me, and while i enjoy the attention, it was certainly confused me after a 45 minute cuddle like thing in front of his gf last Friday, that left me feeling happier than i proably should. Over the weekend i wracked my brain upset that i may be falling fo him even though i wanted to and dint at the same time. He has been a great friends in helping me get out of my comfort zone and get close to people. I was emotionally distraught. I had 3 options. I could:
A) Not doing anyting about it.(which clearly would not work and only avoid the problem.
B) Avoid him all together (which also wouldnt work. becasue he knows when im upset and thats when he is closest)
or C) come out to him and lay all my cards on the table.

So after making a pros and cons list TWICE. I decided i had to tell him ASAP so i would stop feeling so horrible. It didnt help that that morning that he saw i was upset and requested a hug from his "sexy bear" (AKA Me). I shrugged him off and told him to keep to his space most of the day. Until after calc in the middle of the day i told him i need to have a serious talk. He knew my life was always kinda messy and offered to talk with me alone at the end of the day when we both did not have class. I met him in the cafeteria and he led me over to a corner of the cafe, I really didnt want people approaching my clearly mopey self and butting in and asked if we could fine somewhere else. Since the library was closed we head for a set of stairs out side in the rain that was covered by a small over hand.

We sat down on the cold stone steps and he asked me what was up. At this point i was already shaking and could only voice that i was confused, upset, and othe negative thing, but yet to give a reason why. There was aways a joke that i always had to many B!tc#e$ to handle and i decided to employ is services to help get my message across. After tons of false starts I finally said "You know how all the B____es wanna get on my D___, well Uhhhhhh,,,,, i dont really want any of them to have it." he imedatly understood what i was trying to get at asked "Oh so this is about your sexuality" I couldnt look at him and could only mumble an agreement. and he told me "its ok man" which was all i could have asked for. he told be that he was proud of himself and that life is hard. He is dyslexic and although we makes small jokes about it, In his old middle school he was bullied and came home in tears on more than one ocassion. He told me I had no reason to be worried and that Living in NY already made it easier, not to mention the fact we were going to vollege soon. I continued to project my insecurites and how i still felt romaticly for some females and how the school GSA was a collection of people i dint have paintence for save a few. After he reassured me id find some reasourses and more freinds. I decided to Tell him how i felt.

I brought back our inteactions on friday (summerized here http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/54341-bromance-more-than.html) And told him that all the inteacrtion and his abusive GF had given me a false hope of having somthing more than a bro ship. And how I was so confused and dint want to freak him out and how i still wanted all the hugs and stuff without eiter of getting the wrong idea about the others feeling. I was readty to hear the worse and for him to tell me he didnt want to be that close to me and that our freind ship would crumble. Instead he helped me work out what i was tripping over word to express and how he said that was ok as well, even flattered a little bit. We agreed that we could still aggressively flirt without it meaning anything and i told him i didnt really like him that way after rethink ing it, just the fact that he was ok with being himself around me. He reassured me his confidence in his sexuality enough to do all of the daily flirtations ive come to expect and am grateful to have a friend that is always looking to cheer his other frinds up as well.

I went on to tell him about all my worries about telling other close people we knew, about how i was getting a shrink and he agrees it would help ALOT. He had one sophomore year and with a little help and some meds it would all be ok. He didnt think less of me on both my emotional instability and abnormal sexuality. I was so glad. I told him about the Kinsey scale and how haivng a freins to talk to was totally different from having a Counsler know. He could be there to comfort me and not just try to throw reasorces at me. We wrapped up are second real heart to heart in the history of or bromance and my first coming out with a completely platonic reassuring Bro Hug.

He drove me home and talked about less heavy but related topics about all my girl crushes and girls with crushes on me all his problems with his gf. He made a couple of dirty jokes despite my empty threats to kick my boots up his nose and as we got to my house he decided the if i told our other best friend that, being a brony he would be required to get me a rainbow dash for my upcoming birthday, and I was ready to kill him at some of the other lewd gift ideas as he backed out of my drive way. After that i decided i had enough being awake for the time being and slept for two hours to recharge my emotional batteries


So yeah My first real coming out. Im was so over joyed yesterday and am still pretty giddy about it.:eusa_danc Just good to know i have someone on my side and that i c an turn to for the emotianl support i need. even when i texted him thanking him later, he said he was glad i had opened up to him. And while Im a smidge dissapointed i dint walk away with a bf lol. Im over joeyed that i now have a place of security and and even closer bro than i could ever ask for. :icon_bigg:eusa_clap(&&&)(!):smilewave

Thanks EC you helped me so much to come to this day!