Monday night my mom confronted me telling me that I've been distant from her and acting weird for about a year. She wanted to know if there was something wrong and demanded to tell her what was going on. I blurted out that there is something that I am going through and can't talk about. She had an alarming look on her face. She's like what is it? You can tell me anything. I'm standing there my eyes filling with tears. I again say I can't talk about it as my voice cracks. Your going to hate me, this whole family is going to hate me. My mom was like please tell me, she too is close to crying. I hesitated and said I'm gay, there I said it. She stares at me for a long time. I ppleaded with her not to tell anyone. She then askes if im active, I say no I am not at the moment but did it in the past. She then tells me that I should read the Bible carefully, the parts where it talks about homosexuality and pray about. She then tells me to consider my Christian upbringing. I laughed out loud telling her I will but it's not going to change who I am. She asks if I'm ok, am I'm suicidal, depressed? I say no and that ai'm fine. Then my mom tells me that I have to figure out what is going to happen, if I'm going to come out to my fam, or not be gay. I can't run your life, it's your life. I then say alright and go to bed. SO long story short I came out to my mom. I feel a ban lifted off my body. Hopefully things get better for me. Don't think my mom will ever fully accept me but hopefully my other family members will. Thanks for reading.
I think its just shock. Her mind is reeling right now because she had no idea and is struggling to accept it. True, some people can never reconcile religion and homosexuality- but most parents come around when they face losing their son/daughter. Congrats its hard to tell a parent (*hug*) I feel so lucky that my dad accepted me without question...
From her response, I could guess with near certainty that she will eventually fully accept you. It's clear she's struggling a little with her religion, but it's also clear that she has her priorities straight and is most concerned about you. Remember this was likely a shock for her and so she'll have to go through the stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance) which could take anywhere from an hour to months... but my sense is she already "gets it" and once she's had time to think a bit, my guess is she'll realize that she already knew at some level. Congrats on coming out, even if it wasn't planned. I'm sure this is the start of your being able to be much more in touch and happy with yourself and your life Please keep us informed how things progress!
That sounds somewhat similar to my coming out story, actually. It may be a bit of a shock for her right now, but she sounds like she isn't completely dismissing the idea. It just really takes time, is all. And all you can really give her (and eventually the rest of your family, if you so choose) is time. I admire you for strengthening your resolve and being so true to yourself in the face of all this. It really will get better. I know it may not seem so right now, but really. I can tell you from experience, it will. Best of luck to you and keep all of us here updated. If you ever need to talk, there are some wonderful people here at EC to talk to!
Nice! I hope things are great for you from here on, well, you know, after the shock and all. and if she uses the bible on you, use it back! and in the end, just enjoy whatever you get, even if they don't like it, you don't have to hide it from them(this is assuming you come out to your family ofcourse)
