I'm 19 and I've known I was gay for ages now. I'm comfortable with my sexuality and have no problem with it at all. I'm at the stage where most people I meet or know assume I am gay and I'm comfortable with that and I don't really plan to come out to friends and aquantiances because firstly they already know and secondly I don't want to further perpetuate a society where hetrosexuality is the norm and Queers have to "opt out" of being straight. But I know I have to come out to my parents, unlike most people I guess that they think no matter how much musical theatre I watch or how gay my friends are I must still be straight. I also feel if I come out to my parents it will help me be more open and comfortable with who I am around my parents. You see at the moment I have a really oirdinary relationship with my parents, I've never talked to them about my feelings and we hardly have a conversation that is any more than just small talk. I've always felt presure to conform to what they want to me to be, I've always felt uncomfortable wearing the clothes that I like or cutting my hair the way I like it due to fearing what my parents critical views may be. I feel that my sexuality is a large contirbutor to this issue. My parents are both school teachers at Catholic schools and my mum is a Religious Eduation teacher. I honestly don't know what their reaction would be, they've never said anything overtly homophobic or bigoted but they really don't know any gay and lesbian people and they have never really been forced to be educated on this topic. But sometimes that tollerance of gay people can dramatically reduce when it's someones own child, and thats why I worry about. My other worry is my Grandparents I still have 4 grandparents that are alive and I think somewhat typical for their genneration they are largly ignorent and unaccepting of homosexuals. I wouldn't feel comfortable coming out to my parents if they were then to tell my grandperants. I plan to make coming out my new years resolution I honestly can't wait any longer to be able to express who I am. I think that I should do it in a letter honestly that's the only way I could do it, but I have no clue what I should write or how to get that letter to them. Do I write two letters? One letter but two coppies? One letter and one coppy? And then the even bigger questions of what do I write in the letter and how to I verbalize everything I want to say? I would love to hear about your experiances of comming out particularly in relation to your grandperants. Also if you wrote a comming out letter I want to know your top tips and any other tips you have for me would be great!
I started with a few trusted friends then went form there. I tried telling huge amounts of people at once but that didn't work, so I just told the gossip people, they them spread the word. At first most people didn't believe that I was gay (I having that says "gay" about me) but they on board pretty quick
I play lacrosse, and this past summer on the way to lacrosse practice, I said "Mom, Dad, can I talk to you about something?" They both said yes, and so I took a big breathe and said "Mom, Dad. I'm bi." There was this moment of awkward silence, and then they both reacted. Honestly, the hardest part is saying 'I'm bi' or 'I'm gay' and after that, its much easier, because if they don't understand, then you can explain, etc. Plus, now you've got all that weight off your chest, so its easier to talk. Quite frankly, if I could do it again, I would write them a letter. Thats how I ended up doing it with a religious friend of mine (btw, that friend is far more religious than my parents, and kinda reminds me of how religious you say yours are). It is much easier to write it than to say it. Also, in a letter you can explain to them and say 'this is who I am, who I have always been. It doesn't change anything about me' as opposed to having to try and say that right as they're reacting to the fact that you just said you were gay. I hope this helped, and I'd be willing to talk somemore.
Dude, I'm here too. But I'm telling one of my best friends when I see her the day after Christmas and I'm super excited.. But twice as nervous. I know it's gonna be tough but I gotta do it. So do you. It's gonna be hard but in the end you'll have someone to talk to. I'll let ya know how thugs go if ya wanna know. I hope you find the courage to come out.
If you are still living with them/depend on them financially, tred carefully!! I have Catholic parents who reacted horribly and now I have to live with that until I move to a university. From what I gathered, you don't instinctively expect a devistating reaction, and I would say that your intuition is key in coming out. I didn't plan on coming out to my parents because somewhere inside me I knew how they'd react, and I know you have the same sense. Also, setting a certain time for coming out can make the flow of the process forced, and even more awkward than it has to be. As far as your grandparents, you never have to come out to them. They really won't understand, and in my experience it's just not worth the repremand. They will never know your gay unless you tell them, so be yourself and enjoy their company.
