My (almost) Failed Coming Out - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

GuyDC21 · 19th Dec 2011, 03:20 PM

Hey, DC here! This is my first real post. So, I guess a good place to start would be my failed (sort of) coming out story. First off, I came to terms with my sexuality when I was thirteen. I knew pretty early on that I liked the girls in the class, but that I also liked the boys as well. I also never really understood what the big deal about being gay was. That being said, I never felt the need to tell anyone exclusively about my bisexuality, until about six months ago.

I have been friends with this guy for a few years now. Somewhere along the line he told that when he was younger he thought he was gay and that he still finds men attractive. I was too chicken at first to tell him that I have the same feelings, but after a while I decided that if i was going to tell anyone of this it would be him. I call him to hang out at my house.

He comes over and somehow we end up talking about this gay guy we both know. Now, I know that this is THE perfect time to calmly and confidently tell him that I'm attracted to men and would love to have a relationship with a man.

Instead I managed to stumble out that like guys and that I could, "Give it (it being gay I suppose) a shot.” Because I was so nervous I wasn't really listening to what he was saying. So, I go ahead and pick the very moment that he is retelling the numerous tales of his male friends who have tried to put a move on him (he is, however, a very cute Asian man, so who could blame them). After I told him he just said that he was surprised and that was that. We didn't talk about it for a few months. At first I thought he was freaked out, but he came back around. He is still the only person I have come out to. Hopefully it will go smoother with the next person I tell.

Hana Solo · 19th Dec 2011, 04:19 PM

The first is always the hardest. It gets easier

congrats on telling someone!

Dewthulu · 19th Dec 2011, 04:37 PM

Congrats on telling someone

. As Hana Solo said, the first is always the hardest. I kinda cheated; I came out to my first few people over facebook.

Even though I'd already gone through telling people, I could barely get the words out of my mouth. It takes courage, and it only gets easier.

dl72 · 19th Dec 2011, 06:13 PM

Congrats on telling your first person.

Hidinginalabama · 20th Dec 2011, 11:50 AM

Congrats on coming out to some one. The first time is never easy but it does get better. Again congrats.

**EM68** · 20th Dec 2011, 12:25 PM

Congrats on your coming out! The first is the hardest but it does get easier.

thecat06 · 20th Dec 2011, 01:55 PM

Congrats on coming out!!

LdSlnce · 20th Dec 2011, 01:58 PM

Very much agree with Hana Solo...first one is the hardest.

Congrats on coming out!

Kat1911 · 22nd Dec 2011, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewthulu

Congrats on telling someone

. As Hana Solo said, the first is always the hardest. I kinda cheated; I came out to my first few people over facebook.

Even though I'd already gone through telling people, I could barely get the words out of my mouth. It takes courage, and it only gets easier.

I told my first and only person so far through facebook. Nice and easy. Even if it is cheating.

19th Dec 2011, 03:20 PM	#1
GuyDC21 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual, more to the gay side Out Status: Out to BF and half a dozen friends Location: Missouri Posts: 66 Join Date: Dec 2011	My (almost) Failed Coming Out Hey, DC here! This is my first real post. So, I guess a good place to start would be my failed (sort of) coming out story. First off, I came to terms with my sexuality when I was thirteen. I knew pretty early on that I liked the girls in the class, but that I also liked the boys as well. I also never really understood what the big deal about being gay was. That being said, I never felt the need to tell anyone exclusively about my bisexuality, until about six months ago. I have been friends with this guy for a few years now. Somewhere along the line he told that when he was younger he thought he was gay and that he still finds men attractive. I was too chicken at first to tell him that I have the same feelings, but after a while I decided that if i was going to tell anyone of this it would be him. I call him to hang out at my house. He comes over and somehow we end up talking about this gay guy we both know. Now, I know that this is THE perfect time to calmly and confidently tell him that I'm attracted to men and would love to have a relationship with a man. Instead I managed to stumble out that like guys and that I could, "Give it (it being gay I suppose) a shot.” Because I was so nervous I wasn't really listening to what he was saying. So, I go ahead and pick the very moment that he is retelling the numerous tales of his male friends who have tried to put a move on him (he is, however, a very cute Asian man, so who could blame them). After I told him he just said that he was surprised and that was that. We didn't talk about it for a few months. At first I thought he was freaked out, but he came back around. He is still the only person I have come out to. Hopefully it will go smoother with the next person I tell.

19th Dec 2011, 04:19 PM	#2
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out The first is always the hardest. It gets easier congrats on telling someone! __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

19th Dec 2011, 04:37 PM	#3
Dewthulu The 14th Doctor Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 5 Out Status: Most of my friends as bi, few as gay. Location: Berkshire County, Massachusetts Age: 18 Posts: 631 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out Congrats on telling someone. As Hana Solo said, the first is always the hardest. I kinda cheated; I came out to my first few people over facebook. Even though I'd already gone through telling people, I could barely get the words out of my mouth. It takes courage, and it only gets easier. __________________ May the memories of your darkest days be regarded with less weight than that of a dream.

19th Dec 2011, 06:13 PM	#4
dl72 EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: To one person only Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 350 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out Congrats on telling your first person.

20th Dec 2011, 11:50 AM	#5
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out Congrats on coming out to some one. The first time is never easy but it does get better. Again congrats.

20th Dec 2011, 12:25 PM	#6
EM68 Happily Married! :) EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about. Location: Stoughton, Massachusetts USA Age: 43 Posts: 4,288 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out Congrats on your coming out! The first is the hardest but it does get easier. __________________ I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was Born This Way -Lady Gaga

20th Dec 2011, 01:55 PM	#7
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out Congrats on coming out!! __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

20th Dec 2011, 01:58 PM	#8
LdSlnce Banned Regular Member Gender: Fancy Orientation: I like who I like Out Status: It's getting complicated! Location: Not On Your Street Posts: 153 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: My (almost) Failed Coming Out Very much agree with Hana Solo...first one is the hardest. Congrats on coming out!

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