How hard was coming out for you? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

hulu735 · 30th Dec 2011, 01:26 PM

It got very hard for me to come out to my mom, I was crying most of the time as I told her. She kept guessing what was wrong until she guessed if I was having trouble with my sexuality. I said, "Yes, I'm bi." She said that it was okay and that she didn't think that God even meant for it to be a sin. She seemed a little upset at first, but now she said that she's fine. Coming out was hard for me, how hard was it for you?

Hexagon · 30th Dec 2011, 01:46 PM

Hard.

confused102188 · 30th Dec 2011, 01:47 PM

Extremely hard

thecat06 · 30th Dec 2011, 01:50 PM

It was really hard.. I don't think that it helped that I told her at 1:22am and it was the day before I went to college. (I had set a goal to come out to my mom before I went to college)

hulu735 · 30th Dec 2011, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thecat06

It was really hard.. I don't think that it helped that I told her at 1:22am and it was the day before I went to college. (I had set a goal to come out to my mom before I went to college)

At least you made sure that you would came out before a certain time.

Hidinginalabama · 30th Dec 2011, 02:27 PM

It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But when I came out to my parents I never looked back. Even though the hole time I was crying when I told them I am glad I did it. Life is much easier being out.

confused102188 · 30th Dec 2011, 02:47 PM

I forgot to add that yes its extremely hard but also extremely worth it.

andersonh09 · 30th Dec 2011, 03:54 PM

I still haven't had the guts to tell my mom, even though I know she won't care, but coming out to my super religious friend was probably one of the hardest things I've done. It was totally worth it though.

IanGallagher · 30th Dec 2011, 05:07 PM

I had planned to tell my parents over my birthday. But, I just couldn't do it. The whole time they even noticed how depressed and zoned out of it I seemed to be. It was on the tip of my tongue, I was ready to spit it out but I was always too afraid to.

When I went home the next time, the whole drive home from the airport I was silent. My parents could tell that something was obviously bothering me. But I just couldn't tell them and denied it the whole way home. That night I went into the sun room and told my mom "I'm like James Dean, Marlon Brando, Robert Downey Jr. (read up about his 20s), Alexander the Great, Billie Jo Armstrong, etc." Hoping that she would catch on. She didn't. Finally I got the courage to say "I'm bi."

Her reaction wasn't that of surprise or anything really. Just calm which really surprised me. I had expected something more than just a "oh, ok" reaction lol. My family even over-reacts when I get an A on a test. I told her again, sill no reaction. I asked her she somehow knew, she said she didn't. She also offered to tell my Dad.

It was hard, for other reasons, a while after that but things settled back into place soon after. So - difficult? Yeah. Definitely. Best decision I've made? Without a doubt.

Kidd · 30th Dec 2011, 05:39 PM

I don't know if I would call it hard, per se, but it's pretty scary. Right before I did it I sort of realized that there wasn't any other acceptable alternative, so I had to master my fears and get it over with. The possibility of being stuck in the closet and alone for the rest of my life was a worse fate than anything anyone else could possibly do to me.

30th Dec 2011, 05:58 PM

For me, it was nerve-wracking because of my parents' expectations but I felt so much better about myself after coming out. It took them a lot of time before they accepted who I am today so that's one positive thing about it! When I first told them, my father had the nerve to tell me to go see a psychologist...

Hexagon · 30th Dec 2011, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IanGallagher

Alexander the Great

Wait, Alexander the Great was bi? awesome. *named himself after someone bi*

30th Dec 2011, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RubiksCube

Quote:

Originally Posted by IanGallagher

Alexander the Great

Wait, Alexander the Great was bi? awesome. *named himself after someone bi*

Wait... he was bi? I saw a documentary on Alexander the Great and the guy who played the role as him was hot...

Jessica816 · 30th Dec 2011, 07:03 PM

I never actually sat down with my Mom and told that I'm gay..It kinda just happened over time.Not to say that it was any easier for me, when she I guess put the pieces together, I was almost ashamed to say the word Lesbian. Now my friends and co workers was rather terrifying. Over all it was a scary time and everyone had so many questions. Looking back I'm very happy that I was finally honest with myself and everyone around me. Hard, but worth it for sure!

IanGallagher · 30th Dec 2011, 07:06 PM

Yep, Alexander the Great was bisexual. Kinda of why I see the whole military "don't ask, don't tell" thing as complete bullshit. I mean, in the past we had Alexander the Great, all the Spartan Warriors, Achilles (unsure how much is myth or if it's all myth, gets jumbled), the list goes on and on -- all great military minds - all LGBT, which really rocks. But, yeah the Great guy is a fellow bi.

midwestgirl89 · 30th Dec 2011, 07:10 PM

It was hard to come out to myself. To my mom, it was also hard. Not because of her reaction but because of the fear and shame I felt.

I'm not out to the people it would be really scary to tell. My dad doesn't know. I haven't told my sister either. However for me, I was pretty much outed in high school to a class so the coming out thing was forced for a while and lots of people knew without me telling them.

Coming out's hard but worth it in the end.

dairyuu · 3rd Jan 2012, 08:38 AM

Coming out to my parents (a really long story, it was both at once) was incredibly hard. Coming out to my friends was hard at first, but became easier with time. Coming out's worth it without a doubt, but only if you're willing to overcome hardships on the way.

fiddledeedee · 3rd Jan 2012, 09:53 AM

Coming out to my brother was hard as he was the first person I told, although I knew he would react well. The first couple friends I told were hard to come out to as I had no practice – after that, though, it became easy to tell people and fun to come out ot my whole school. THen it got hard again with telling my mother, as I had no idea what she would say.

hml8 · 3rd Jan 2012, 10:09 AM

coming out was okay the only time I've cried about it was once on holiday when mum and I were drunk and she said 'don't you realise it was hard for me?' I cried cause she'd been so cool about it that I hadn't realised, I hadn't even thought about it before which is probably why it was so easy

Flying Squirrel · 3rd Jan 2012, 10:38 PM

Its always hard. I tend to shake like crazy and the actually words "i'm gay" are nearly impossible to spit out every time I try to tell a new person.
But, I have yet to regret telling anybody that I have told. On the contrary its made everything much better.

30th Dec 2011, 01:26 PM	#1
hulu735 Well Known Full Member Gender: Transgender- Male to Female Orientation: I like people, not genders. Out Status: Not out about my gender, out about my sexuality Location: North Dakota, USA Posts: 155 Join Date: Dec 2011	How hard was coming out for you? It got very hard for me to come out to my mom, I was crying most of the time as I told her. She kept guessing what was wrong until she guessed if I was having trouble with my sexuality. I said, "Yes, I'm bi." She said that it was okay and that she didn't think that God even meant for it to be a sin. She seemed a little upset at first, but now she said that she's fine. Coming out was hard for me, how hard was it for you?

30th Dec 2011, 01:46 PM	#2
Hexagon Bright Spark Full Member Gender: ?TM transguy Orientation: Panromantic Asexual Out Status: Pending review Location: Somerset, UK Age: 17 Posts: 1,051 Join Date: May 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? Hard. __________________ When god has low self-esteem, does that make him an atheist?

30th Dec 2011, 01:47 PM	#3
confused102188 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all!!!!!! Location: Florida Age: 23 Posts: 124 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: How hard was coming out for you? Extremely hard

30th Dec 2011, 01:50 PM	#4
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? It was really hard.. I don't think that it helped that I told her at 1:22am and it was the day before I went to college. (I had set a goal to come out to my mom before I went to college) __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

30th Dec 2011, 02:27 PM	#6
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But when I came out to my parents I never looked back. Even though the hole time I was crying when I told them I am glad I did it. Life is much easier being out.

30th Dec 2011, 02:47 PM	#7
confused102188 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all!!!!!! Location: Florida Age: 23 Posts: 124 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: How hard was coming out for you? I forgot to add that yes its extremely hard but also extremely worth it.

30th Dec 2011, 03:54 PM	#8
andersonh09 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to most people Location: New England Age: 21 Posts: 87 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? I still haven't had the guts to tell my mom, even though I know she won't care, but coming out to my super religious friend was probably one of the hardest things I've done. It was totally worth it though. __________________ "Don't be afraid to try new things. Remember, amateurs built the arch and professionals built the titanic."

30th Dec 2011, 05:07 PM	#9
IanGallagher The fluctuator Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Mutant and proud Out Status: All except work and extended family. Location: I fly as much as Superman Age: 24 Posts: 619 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? I had planned to tell my parents over my birthday. But, I just couldn't do it. The whole time they even noticed how depressed and zoned out of it I seemed to be. It was on the tip of my tongue, I was ready to spit it out but I was always too afraid to. When I went home the next time, the whole drive home from the airport I was silent. My parents could tell that something was obviously bothering me. But I just couldn't tell them and denied it the whole way home. That night I went into the sun room and told my mom "I'm like James Dean, Marlon Brando, Robert Downey Jr. (read up about his 20s), Alexander the Great, Billie Jo Armstrong, etc." Hoping that she would catch on. She didn't. Finally I got the courage to say "I'm bi." Her reaction wasn't that of surprise or anything really. Just calm which really surprised me. I had expected something more than just a "oh, ok" reaction lol. My family even over-reacts when I get an A on a test. I told her again, sill no reaction. I asked her she somehow knew, she said she didn't. She also offered to tell my Dad. It was hard, for other reasons, a while after that but things settled back into place soon after. So - difficult? Yeah. Definitely. Best decision I've made? Without a doubt.

30th Dec 2011, 05:39 PM	#10
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: How hard was coming out for you? I don't know if I would call it hard, per se, but it's pretty scary. Right before I did it I sort of realized that there wasn't any other acceptable alternative, so I had to master my fears and get it over with. The possibility of being stuck in the closet and alone for the rest of my life was a worse fate than anything anyone else could possibly do to me. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...

30th Dec 2011, 05:58 PM	#11
Suracis Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How hard was coming out for you? For me, it was nerve-wracking because of my parents' expectations but I felt so much better about myself after coming out. It took them a lot of time before they accepted who I am today so that's one positive thing about it! When I first told them, my father had the nerve to tell me to go see a psychologist...

30th Dec 2011, 07:03 PM	#14
Jessica816 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bi-romantic lesbian? Still working on it Out Status: Out loud and so very proud Location: Kansas city, Mo Age: 23 Posts: 255 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? I never actually sat down with my Mom and told that I'm gay..It kinda just happened over time.Not to say that it was any easier for me, when she I guess put the pieces together, I was almost ashamed to say the word Lesbian. Now my friends and co workers was rather terrifying. Over all it was a scary time and everyone had so many questions. Looking back I'm very happy that I was finally honest with myself and everyone around me. Hard, but worth it for sure! __________________ "Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."

30th Dec 2011, 07:06 PM	#15
IanGallagher The fluctuator Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Mutant and proud Out Status: All except work and extended family. Location: I fly as much as Superman Age: 24 Posts: 619 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? Yep, Alexander the Great was bisexual. Kinda of why I see the whole military "don't ask, don't tell" thing as complete bullshit. I mean, in the past we had Alexander the Great, all the Spartan Warriors, Achilles (unsure how much is myth or if it's all myth, gets jumbled), the list goes on and on -- all great military minds - all LGBT, which really rocks. But, yeah the Great guy is a fellow bi.

30th Dec 2011, 07:10 PM	#16
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 559 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? It was hard to come out to myself. To my mom, it was also hard. Not because of her reaction but because of the fear and shame I felt. I'm not out to the people it would be really scary to tell. My dad doesn't know. I haven't told my sister either. However for me, I was pretty much outed in high school to a class so the coming out thing was forced for a while and lots of people knew without me telling them. Coming out's hard but worth it in the end.

3rd Jan 2012, 08:38 AM	#17
dairyuu Japan-obsessed Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone I care about (minus some family/friends) Location: Los Angeles, unfortunately Posts: 119 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: How hard was coming out for you? Coming out to my parents (a really long story, it was both at once) was incredibly hard. Coming out to my friends was hard at first, but became easier with time. Coming out's worth it without a doubt, but only if you're willing to overcome hardships on the way. __________________ Aide oh Seigneur, aide les miens J'implore ta clémence, pour ceux qui n'on rien Dieu aide les exclus, les pauvres et les gueux Puisque nous sommes tous les enfants de Dieu

3rd Jan 2012, 09:53 AM	#18
fiddledeedee 22/12-31/12+X! Full Member Gender: Complicated female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Most, sans Dad Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 1,128 Join Date: May 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? Coming out to my brother was hard as he was the first person I told, although I knew he would react well. The first couple friends I told were hard to come out to as I had no practice – after that, though, it became easy to tell people and fun to come out ot my whole school. THen it got hard again with telling my mother, as I had no idea what she would say. __________________ A problem should be measured not by the cause of the problem but by the consequences it has on a person. ~ Anfauglith

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3rd Jan 2012, 10:09 AM	#19
hml8 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Canterbury, Kent or Southend, Essex Age: 21 Posts: 424 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: How hard was coming out for you? coming out was okay the only time I've cried about it was once on holiday when mum and I were drunk and she said 'don't you realise it was hard for me?' I cried cause she'd been so cool about it that I hadn't realised, I hadn't even thought about it before which is probably why it was so easy __________________ 'I feel pretty, Oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay' . . . hums on

3rd Jan 2012, 10:38 PM	#20
Flying Squirrel Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 5 friends and my parents Location: America Age: 21 Posts: 77 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: How hard was coming out for you? Its always hard. I tend to shake like crazy and the actually words "i'm gay" are nearly impossible to spit out every time I try to tell a new person. But, I have yet to regret telling anybody that I have told. On the contrary its made everything much better.