Coming out to my girlfriend's father soon.

[Charni]

My girlfriend has told her dad that I am a girl in a boys body, but as far as I know that's as much as they have talked about it. Apparently he knows a lot of trans people so that's good. I will be telling him my full female name. It will be in a bit over a week. Maybe two. But I am certain he will accept me. Maybe he will even talk to me about it. I mainly am putting this out here because I want to say it. I'll keep you posted. Any thoughts?

[Igkitkat]

Good luck! Hope he accepts you! I'm already on the dark side... We have the best cookies.

[kiersten]

Oh I hope it all goes so well! It sounds like your gf's father will be pretty understanding tho, especially if he already knows a lot of trans folk, which is good!

And Igkitkat, you are sooo right, the best cookies are on the dark side!

[Charni]

I still don't know what trans I am. What is the difference between transsexual and transgender? Also regarding darkness recruitment numbers. Recruitment numbers have gone down recently. Maybe we should do a special deal?

[kiersten]

Transgender is sort of an umbrella term. A transgender individual may have characteristics that are normally associated with a particular gender, identify elsewhere on the traditional gender continuum, or exist outside of it as "other", "agender", "Genderqueer", or "third gender". Transgender people may also identify as bigender, or along several places on either the traditional transgender continuum. Being transsexual is how an individual's identification with a gender is inconsistent or not culturally associated with his or her biological sex. Simply put, it defines a person whose biological birth sex conflicts with his or her psychological gender.

If youre like me Charni, a girl with a male body, then you're MTF. I identify as a girl, but what I am is a pre-op transexual, since I fully intend to have vaginoplasty & finally correct the incorrect genitals I have. Not every trans-girl has the goal of bottom surgery tho. Many girls transition & do everything except SRS. It's really what you feel comfy with.

All of the above info is from Wikipedia, just without all of the medical or psychological jargon, so I hope it helps a bit...

As for recruitment, I dont think a special deal is needed! The people who join the dark side are there because they want to be! No need to offer incentives to people who might only half-heartedly join the dark side after all!

[Ianthe]

Transgender is sometimes used as an umbrella term for anyone who doesn't identify with the gender assigned to them at birth (or sometimes even for anyone who is not completely gender conforming). It's used that way particularly in very specialized literature about gender issues, mainly.

In everyday practice, in my experience, people who actually identify as transgender are people who want to be accepted as the standard binary gender that was not assigned to them. Since you say you are a "girl in a boys body," this would include you.

Transsexuals are specifically those transgender people who want to alter their bodies to appear like the physical sex that our culture associates with their gender identity. Not all transgender people want to do that.

Many transsexuals use the word "transgender" most of the time. Whether you have had or intend to have any kind of surgery or hormone therapy is actually your personal business, not something you need to share with everyone all the time. It's the sort of personal thing you might choose to talk about with someone you are growing closer to as you feel more comfortable with them. (When people ask you questions, you always have the right to tell them that you don't feel close enough to them to talk about that--of course, if the person who's asking is someone who thinks they have a particularly close relationship with you, they might be hurt.)

Also, many people don't particularly like the term "transsexual," either because it makes people think it's all about sex, or because the focus is too much on the physical body instead of considering the person holistically.

Some language usage like this may vary a lot in different places and communities--given that you live in Australia, and I am in the United States, and this sort of thing can be very different even regionally in both countries, you might want to see how people use the terms locally where you live.

However, based on my experience, people like you use the word "transgender" most of the time, even if they are transsexual (which I have no idea if you are) and reserve the word "transsexual" for discussions where the actual physical transitioning process is specifically relevant.

[hulu735]

Congrats! I hope everything turns out Okay, because it sure sounds like it will! Keep us informed, okay?

[Charni]

Thanks for the advise. I would be a transgender, but strangly I don't like the term. I prefer to say girl in a boys body.

I'll tell you what happens when I can.

[Ianthe]

I don't think it's strange. I think most people would be happier with terms that did not sound so technical.

[kiersten]

Personally Charni, I prefer to call myself transgender, even tho I know Im a pre-op transexual. The word transexual makes me feel like a drag queen or something, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but Im female. If labels need to be slapped on me tho, I prefer trans-woman or t-girl as well, the latter being by far my most preferred choice. Overall & at the end of the day, if anyone wants to label me, call me what I am - a girl. But that's just me, it's different for everyone really, so just go with what youre most comfy with!

[Charni]

Your a girl. I'll call you a girl. I just want you to call me a girl too.

[Charni]

Me and my girlfriend talked about it (though texting) and it is a good idea to talk to him. So I am hoping to tell him by the end of the week.

[Coda]

Charni, a.k.a Jamice , don't worry
I am sure he will understand, he sounds like a nice enough bloke.
Let us now how it goes,
Bye for now,
Coda. XD

[thecat06]

Good Luck!!

[Charni]

I had the chance to talk to him yesterday but I chickened out. Darn.

[kiersten]

Originally Posted by Charni

I had the chance to talk to him yesterday but I chickened out. Darn.

Don't worry about chickening out too much, I plan to tell the rest of my family this year so then I'll be totally & completely out, but I keep chickening out too. I think sometimes it's just part of the process & nothing to be ashamed of...