A coming out letter for trans people. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Charni · 5th Jan 2012, 02:06 AM

Note: this letter is not mine. It was sent to me and I felt that it should be shared because as far as I know there aren't any trans comming out letters here. I do have his permission to share it. If you wish to use this letter you will need to change parts in it.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I am writing this letter because I thought it would be the best way to explain things to you. Before you read it, I would like you to know that I am the same person that I was before, and that I will always love you and hope you will do the same.

I'm a transsexual, which means that although I was born male, I am a woman in a man's body, and I have felt this way almost all my life. As a result, I have been very unhappy and depressed, and I've finally found the courage to do something about that. My only option is to transition into a woman, and I would very much like your support in this.

When people think of a transsexual, they automatically think of a drag queen or transvestite, but this is not accurate. Most transsexuals are unnoticed by people, and therefor do not form part of the public image of a transsexual. I hope you realise that my feelings are not unnatural or sexual in nature, but real and honest.

You may be worried that I will have a hard life, and although this may be the case, I have already had a hard life as you know. This is the opportunity I have been waiting for, and it will change my life for the better.

You may be wondering if I have taken on a new name. I am now Charni, and I have used the name online since December 2011. When you are ready to do so, I would also like you to start using female pronouns, and calling me your daughter as opposed to your son. I have been advised by other parents of transsexuals that you might feel like you've lost a son, and I know this will be hard for you.

Perhaps it would help you to see it as though you never had a son, as that is the way I feel.

I am sorry I am not the son you wanted. I have wished I wasn’t a transsexual many, many times. But wishing is only wishing. It couldn’t change it.

When you are ready, I am open to any questions you may have, and once again I hope you will be supportive of my transition.

Your Loving Daughter,
Charni

DhammaGamer · 5th Jan 2012, 05:56 AM

A very honest and straightforward letter. I hope things go well for you. I'm still too chicken to come out yet.

Charni · 5th Jan 2012, 11:27 AM

Oh I'm not even thinking of giving it to them yet.

Aareon · 20th Jan 2012, 02:30 PM

Woah this is heaps cool and helpful. Thanks for sharing

Doctor Faustus · 20th Jan 2012, 07:20 PM

Simple and honest.

I hope things work out well.

stuwee · 20th Jan 2012, 11:21 PM

Charni · 20th Jan 2012, 11:56 PM

Just remember somebody else on EC gave this to me but he didn't want anybody to know it was him (as far as I know).

5th Jan 2012, 02:06 AM	#1
Charni Banned Full Member Gender: Physically male, mentally everything but male. Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: My girlfriend and 8 others Location: Australia! Age: 16 Posts: 775 Join Date: Nov 2011	A coming out letter for trans people. Note: this letter is not mine. It was sent to me and I felt that it should be shared because as far as I know there aren't any trans comming out letters here. I do have his permission to share it. If you wish to use this letter you will need to change parts in it. Dear Mum and Dad, I am writing this letter because I thought it would be the best way to explain things to you. Before you read it, I would like you to know that I am the same person that I was before, and that I will always love you and hope you will do the same. I'm a transsexual, which means that although I was born male, I am a woman in a man's body, and I have felt this way almost all my life. As a result, I have been very unhappy and depressed, and I've finally found the courage to do something about that. My only option is to transition into a woman, and I would very much like your support in this. When people think of a transsexual, they automatically think of a drag queen or transvestite, but this is not accurate. Most transsexuals are unnoticed by people, and therefor do not form part of the public image of a transsexual. I hope you realise that my feelings are not unnatural or sexual in nature, but real and honest. You may be worried that I will have a hard life, and although this may be the case, I have already had a hard life as you know. This is the opportunity I have been waiting for, and it will change my life for the better. You may be wondering if I have taken on a new name. I am now Charni, and I have used the name online since December 2011. When you are ready to do so, I would also like you to start using female pronouns, and calling me your daughter as opposed to your son. I have been advised by other parents of transsexuals that you might feel like you've lost a son, and I know this will be hard for you. Perhaps it would help you to see it as though you never had a son, as that is the way I feel. I am sorry I am not the son you wanted. I have wished I wasn’t a transsexual many, many times. But wishing is only wishing. It couldn’t change it. When you are ready, I am open to any questions you may have, and once again I hope you will be supportive of my transition. Your Loving Daughter, Charni

5th Jan 2012, 05:56 AM	#2
DhammaGamer EC Addict Full Member Gender: MtF Orientation: Queer <3 Out Status: The closet is falling apart around me!!! Location: Michigan Age: 25 Posts: 372 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: A coming out letter for trans people. A very honest and straightforward letter. I hope things go well for you. I'm still too chicken to come out yet.

5th Jan 2012, 11:27 AM	#3
Charni Banned Full Member Gender: Physically male, mentally everything but male. Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: My girlfriend and 8 others Location: Australia! Age: 16 Posts: 775 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: A coming out letter for trans people. Oh I'm not even thinking of giving it to them yet.

20th Jan 2012, 02:30 PM	#4
Aareon Pokemon Master Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Noone cares anyway haha Location: Australia, Sydney Age: 14 Posts: 172 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: A coming out letter for trans people. Woah this is heaps cool and helpful. Thanks for sharing

20th Jan 2012, 07:20 PM	#5
Doctor Faustus EC's resident Philosopher at Large Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not straight. But only interested in men. xD Out Status: People who ask me. People whom I trust. Location: Basingstoke Posts: 1,610 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: A coming out letter for trans people. Simple and honest. I hope things work out well. __________________ "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa.

20th Jan 2012, 11:21 PM	#6
stuwee Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Deep in the Sonoran desert, Arizona Age: 49 Posts: 89 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: A coming out letter for trans people. __________________ I thought I had something to say but, then I forgot what the hell it was...

20th Jan 2012, 11:56 PM	#7
Charni Banned Full Member Gender: Physically male, mentally everything but male. Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: My girlfriend and 8 others Location: Australia! Age: 16 Posts: 775 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: A coming out letter for trans people. Just remember somebody else on EC gave this to me but he didn't want anybody to know it was him (as far as I know).

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