Came out to parents by accident after a rough break up...

I'm such a stupid moron!

I can't do anything right...

I was going to wait until after I get a call from the specialist to tell my parents that I'm trans. But I fucked up...

My girlfriend and I broke up... If found out some stuff about her that just destroyed me mentally. She told a mutual friend of ours that she was only with me because she did not want to be alone, and that she did not really love me, as well that when she came up to see me, she had to 'change me'. She said I was fat, and that when she comes up she's putting me on a 'rice and fish' diet... as well as she wants me to work out and start swimming everyday, as well as she wanted me to change personality wise. She wants me to be more narcissistic and controlling... she wanted me to put myself first, and look down on others, as well as control her more... by the way she worded it... she wanted me to become her abusive boyfriend... and that's not me. I've always been the 'nice guy'...

I've got a muscle degenerative disease that makes it so I can't use my right arm very well. So I'm sorry if my arms are a little thin. I can't work out, no matter how badly I want to...

But honestly, like I told her, I really don't care what I look like... I know I'm not a muscle-man, but I know I'm not fat. I spend 8 hours a night running. I've got a fast-paced job, that I could not do if I was not in shape. But again, I don't care. The only thing that bothers me, is that she's bigger then I am weight wise... I could have let the weight thing slide, if that was the only thing she had said. But only staying with me so she isn't alone, as well as trying to change me was too much...

...So I broke up with her...

I've never never felt so crappy... I was so mentally numb yesterday I could not focus...work was worried about me, but I was no mentally there.

And then I was talking to my parents, still mentally numb and not paying attention to what I was saying, and I was using the male pronouns for myself...and my mother caught it... so I came out to her, told her there is a huge possibility that I will get a sex change.

She did not care. She just said, "Oh, that's nice. But I still think you should change your mind on what you want to go to University for" ...yeah. And then she told my Dad, and he pretended not to hear.

So now they know, and neither one of them care. They had a smaller reaction to the fact that their 'daughter' will soon be their 'son', then they had when they found out I was gay.

My mom asked a few questions, but that was it. No one has brought it up since...

...and I wish I could be happy about it! But right now, all my goals for the future are shattered. I as planning on going to school while I was Transitioning, graduating in the 30 weeks the course took, then after I Transition, I was going to move down to the states to be with her... and then she said that she was just leading me on because she did not want to be alone...

I've never felt so awful before in my life. And yet, even though my parents don't care that I'm trans, a thing I should feel happy about... grah!

...thank you for your time...

 

Thank you everyone... I'm having a hard time with the break up... but I'm struggling to pick myself up again, and I'll be fine in no time!

 

My parents original reaction seems to have gone out the window. My Dad refuses to see me as a man, and keeps trying to tell me its 'just a really long phase', and my Mom says she 'doesn't care', but changes the subject whenever it comes up. They want me to take extensive counseling first. I told them I was just waiting for the doctor to call before I begin...

My best friend also found out, and now she wants nothing to do with me...

so in total, I lost my girlfriend, my parents respect, and my best friend all within 3 days...

And now I have an old friend ( that one I mentioned earlier, that wronged me so badly that it started a year of hell, ) trying to convince me to get into a relationship with her D:

I want to get this transition started, so I can get the hell out of town -.-